


Scar Tissue (Part One)

by Faith



Series: Scar Tissue [1]
Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-23
Updated: 2011-09-23
Packaged: 2017-10-23 23:35:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 66,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/256336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Faith/pseuds/Faith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Arizona Robbins’ brother dies in Iraq, her life takes off in a completely different direction. Now a highly-rated trauma surgeon with the United States Marine Corps, she spends the three years following his death serving their country overseas – until an insurgent attack leaves her with debilitating injuries. Traveling to Seattle at her father’s request, she falls under the care of orthopedic surgeon Dr. Calliope Torres. Damaged emotionally and physically, Arizona tries to start the healing process with the help of a headstrong woman she never saw coming.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> [Artwork](http://lore-85.livejournal.com/119967.html) provided by lore_85 (livejournal)  
> [Fanmix](http://alittlebitmad.livejournal.com/47883.html) provided by literary_critic (livejournal)  
> [Fanvideo](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waHgP-IGphU) provided by camerashy06 (livejournal)

**Prologue**

 

It's only once she's lying flat on her back, surrounded by a cloud of smoke and burning flesh, that she really begins to reflect on why she's there in the first place – a dead brother, a disapproving father, a guilty conscience that wouldn’t let her sleep at night. She came from a cushy job, a cushy apartment, what most would consider a cushy life, and transplanted herself into the armpit of Hell. Voluntarily.

Arizona felt really fucking stupid right about now.

The Marines were an escape; a way for her to feel like she was contributing something to this planet other than the carbon dioxide she expelled into the atmosphere every three seconds. They were an excuse to run away to the furthest corner of the planet without ever looking back and not have anyone judge her for it.

The biggest adjustment was, surprisingly enough, the sand. It was everywhere, all the time. That was probably a mundane observation in a place where everything one saw, smelled and touched was made of it. The first time Arizona took leave, she was still shaking particles out of her hair three days after landing back on American soil. No amount of showering could make the stuff disappear. She became convinced it was permanently ingrained in her skin and would continue falling out over time.

The heat was a secondary adjustment. She'd lived in a lot of places growing up, some dry, some humid. Most of them hot. The scorching deserts of Afghanistan and Iraq were a huge leap from southern California summers, of course. Especially when every soldier there had to lug their own weight in gear around on their backs beneath an unforgiving sun, day in and day out.

The U.S. military covers their warriors in thick, heavy Kevlar and a backpack the size of a coffee table, telling everyone to keep moving forward and not look back. Save who you can, get the bodies out so we can bring them home to their families. Arizona had the routine memorized by now; she'd been doing this for three years. Sweating twenty-four hours a day was just a part of the job.

At age thirty-two, she wasn't quite where she thought she’d be in life. A surgical fellowship in pediatrics at John Hopkins hospital was a far cry from military trauma surgeon in the middle of a war zone. The old Arizona – the one who smiled and laughed and adored working with kids – had turned into a surgical shark, efficient and unafraid to make the hard decisions when it came to who lived and who died. She was damn good at her job, evidenced by her Naval rank of Lieutenant-Commander. Three years into this new life and she was running a Forward Resuscitation Surgical System, or FRSS. They were a two-tent, nine-personnel, three-vehicle unit tasked to provide immediate support on the battlefield to critically injured soldiers.

Not quite the lollipops and roller-shoes she'd started off with in Baltimore. Losing her brother and best friend of twenty-eight years had altered her on a molecular level, rendering her old self useless and forcing her to make new tracks. Timothy was dead and, for all intents and purposes, so was his twin sister. Arizona was a different person than she'd been three years ago – for better or for worse, it remained to be seen.

Surprisingly, her parents had been conflicted when she'd informed them of her decision following his death. Her mother had cried and begged Arizona not to get herself killed as part of some futile revenge mission. Arizona calmly explained to the elder Robbins that an inadequate number of trained specialists was the reason he'd died of a sucking chest wound in the first place. She'd read the reports. Knowing that she might've been able to do something had she been there, yes, that played a part in the decision, but no, it wasn't a revenge mission. And she was doing it regardless of what they thought.

Her father had been pretty indifferent – though to be fair, his son's death within an organization he'd been a part of for fifty years had changed him, too. He’d become cold and distant. He didn’t put up a fight when she told him, nor did he praise her decision. He simply fell silent for a solid thirty seconds before referring her to a commanding officer in the San Diego office.

Technically speaking, Arizona was part of the United States Navy, on loan to the Marine Corps. They didn't have their own surgical units so they borrowed personnel from other branches. She was able to secure a position with the Marines fairly easily because her dad was a Colonel, and a well-respected one at that.

In the end, she served her country just as her brother, father, grandfather, and great-grandfather had done before her. Being a surgeon meant she did so in a different capacity but she served none the less, and she liked to think a part of dear old Dad was proud, even if their family was already broken beyond repair.

Many of the soldiers that came to her unit died, though more of them survived because she was a rockstar with her hands. She saved lives. Some of those men and women had scars and wounds so horrific, they probably wished she hadn't.

'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' only complicated things in a minor way. The military wasn't about to tell one of their top surgeons to get lost when there was a dire shortage of medical personnel to begin with. Arizona didn't talk about her private life and had no relationship to speak of. The fact that she was a lesbian was irrelevant; her last relationship had ended before enlistment, after Timothy's death. Since then a series of one-night stands to take the edge off during each Leave was enough to tie her over. She was married to the job and for now, Arizona was perfectly okay with that.

The day it all changed, she was wrist-deep in a soldier's chest, doing what she did best – saving lives.

Centered in the chaos, through the yelling and trampling of feet as medical staff ran in with stretchers, Arizona was as calm, cool and collected as always. Her focus was sharp and undisturbed as she cracked the patient's chest open, expert fingers searching for the source of the bleeding. They had maybe thirty seconds before his heart went into arrest and they lost him for good.

The scent of charred flesh made her nose curl as she twisted to the right and called out for another hand. One of the younger medics appeared by her side, clamp at the ready for the moment she needed it.

More people poured into the tent, total chaos erupting as others were carried inside and assessed in a hurry. Arizona blinked sweat from her brow and breathed heavily through the mask strung across her face. She wished she had a cold drink handy right about now, knowing it would be hours before she could so much as peel off her gloves and sit down for a much-needed nap. She said as much to the woman standing across the table, earning a crooked grin and a wager on which one of them would make it out of there alive before the day was done. Surely the heat would do somebody in first.

Locating the bleeder, Arizona reached for the clamp and was suddenly, brutally assaulted by a complete sensory overload. She saw nothing, smelled nothing, heard nothing, felt nothing. Not even the beating of her own heart. She thought she was dead; she _knew_ she was.

So she lay there for a moment, convincing herself that she was dead. That the people around her were gone. That the universe had somehow imploded and taken the entire human race with it at an incredibly inopportune time.

Or, quite possibly, just her.

When her senses slowly began to return, it occurred to Arizona that maybe she was being a tad over-dramatic. She still couldn't see anything, couldn't really hear much other than muffled, far-off echoes, but she could smell. Nothing distinct; just a myriad of scents that choked her sinuses and made it almost impossible to inhale. Surely if she was dead, the world beyond this one would smell better than a burning pile of flesh and garbage.

Which is how she got to where she was now, lying in a bloodied heap on the ground while all hell broke loose around her.

***

 **Chapter One**

 _December 23rd, 2008_

 

“ _Robbins!_ ”

A violent cough erupted from Arizona’s lungs as she tried to blink away the layer of dirt caked to her eyelids. She found it nearly impossible to move upon trying, successful only in making her head swim and the world above start spiraling out of control. Each limb felt entirely too heavy for its own good and both ears rang to the point of vertigo-induced nausea.

A shapeless mass appeared overhead when a gust of wind cleared away some of the smoke blurring her vision. She was just barely able to make out the features of Dr. Teddy Altman, smeared with dirt and what she assumed to be blood.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Arizona rasped, voice sounding alien to her own ears as it clawed its way out of her throat.

Teddy almost laughed, visibly relieved that the blonde was in good enough shape to curse and sound that pissed off while doing so. “Hold still, Arizona. Don’t move.”

“I’m fine,” Arizona murmured, squeezing both eyes shut in an attempt to clear her head. Miraculously, she wasn’t in a lot of pain, but in the back of her mind she knew adrenaline was all that stood between her and a world of hurt.

But she was alive. That was awesome.

“What happened?” Uttering those two simple words took more energy than her six-mile perimeter jog each morning did.

Dr. Altman glanced around and grabbed the first surgical towel she spotted. It was covered in sand and required a good shake, but it would do. “Multiple mortars, RPG, grenade...I-I don’t know. Some kind of explosion.”

“Thanks, Lieutenant Obvious,” Arizona wheezed, cracking a weak, barely-there smile.

Teddy did a quick visual sweep of the injured woman’s body, careful not to show any outward reaction to what she saw. “This is gonna hurt.”

“Hurt?” Arizona didn’t even have the chance to figure out what was supposed to when a sharp, searing pain unlike anything she’d ever felt before ripped through her entire body.

It took a moment for her to realize the sudden, loud noise erupting from nearby was actually her own attempt at screaming. It came out sounding more like a shrieking cat with asthma than a human being in pain.

Suddenly the fog in her head cleared. Her right leg was excruciating and she was too afraid to look down; afraid it wouldn’t even be there anymore. She couldn’t distinguish the pain well enough to know if her foot was a part of it – at least that would’ve indicated whether or not it was still attached to the rest of her body.

The hot poker burning through her insides provided a poor distraction for the time being. Arizona managed to look down and see a too-large-for-comfort piece of twisted shrapnel protruding from her gut.

Teddy pressed around the edges with the towel, attempting to stem the bleeding without disturbing the shard. She pushed her hand down despite the cry of protest and moved over to do something with the leg, immediately making the pain worse.

Arizona coughed violently again, dismayed to recognize blood as it invaded her taste buds. Her breath hitched in her chest and she could feel the substance bubbling up in the back of her throat. Dark red began oozing from the corner of her mouth as it became harder and harder to breathe. Her hearing started to dissipate, something she knew from experience as a bad sign. Losing consciousness was generally a no-no in situations like these.

Before long she was fighting to stay awake, knowing it would be only too easy to close her eyes and slip into a blissful, pain-free sleep. A sleep she would likely never wake up from again.

“I think her lung might collapse,” Teddy shouted from somewhere above, though her words were nearly drowned out by the ringing in Arizona’s ears.

More shapes appeared and she kept trying to tell them to forget about her right now, she’d be fine. They needed to help Stan. She hadn’t been able to clamp his artery before the explosion hit and it needed to be done before he bled out on the table.

Another surgeon in their unit tried to tell her something three times while holding her neck immobile, the words leaving his mouth translating to nothing but gibberish. She frowned at him, blinking slowly and wondering why he was surrounded by a white mist. She was pretty sure smoke was supposed to be black.

It was so hard to breathe.

It took a fourth repeat for Arizona’s sluggish brain to make out the word “gone” as it left his lips. Her vision swam heavily as she tilted her head to the left. Another form came into focus, lying broken and twisted on the ground ten feet away. It took a moment for the clear picture of Stan’s body to register – he was dead, though that adjective barely covered the extent of it.

Before long the image began to fade, taking with it the rest of the world. Teddy was yelling, grabbing Arizona by the chin and telling her to focus, to try and stay awake. But it was hard – too hard. She was so very tired and her head was stuffed with cotton.

Teddy patted the blonde’s cheek roughly, trying to keep her conscious. “Arizona, I need you to keep your eyes open, okay? Look at me; you need to stay awake and keep breathing. Arizona!”

It was a losing battle. Arizona barely managed an incoherent mumble before the rest of the world dissolved into a pit of blackness and the sound of distant gunfire faded into silence.

***

 _February 18th, 2009_

 

Callie Torres was drinking Mark Sloan under the table and everyone in Emerald City Bar knew it. She was well aware of the judging eyes watching their every move, no doubt making bets on how long it would take her to wrap him around her little finger and guide him upstairs to bed.

Fuck them. Fuck ‘em all.

His pitiful moan as she tipped back another shot and slammed the glass down on the table between them brought a great big smile to her face. “Pay up, bitch,” Callie slurred, beckoning his wallet forward with a wag of her finger.

Looking green, Mark reached into his jean pocket and fished out twenty dollars. He tossed it across the table and shook his head in disbelief, scowling. “I’m done. You win, Torres.”

Callie replied with a good natured chuckle, stuffing the bill clumsily into her jacket. “Told you you couldn’t out-shoot me, mister. I am the Queen of Bourbon-Sheba, or...whatever. You lose.”

Mark grunted like a Neanderthal as a wave of nausea swept through him. “No work tomorrow,” he mumbled, dropping his face into his hands. “Sleep. Lots and lots of sleep.”

Callie slumped back in her chair and picked up the water glass to her right, chewing on the straw. “Not for me,” she sighed, less than ecstatic at the idea of going into work the next morning. She wasn’t too drunk to know that she would be hurting when her alarm went off at 7:15 A.M. It was already 12:25.

Mark frowned and leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. “What’re you doing tomorrow? I thought you had a long weekend for the first time in...ever. Hence the shot competition.”

This whole exercise had been about making Callie forget Erica Hahn even existed. He’d deemed it necessary when she broke down in the middle of an O.R. for no apparent reason, other than she was miserable with her life. Now his mind was too saturated with the whisky he’d been throwing back to remember why this had been such a bad idea in the first place.  
 Other than it cost him twenty bucks. The girl could drink.

Callie grumbled under her breath, swirling ice cubes around in the glass. “The Chief asked me to do a consult for him. For a friend, or a friend’s daughter or something. I don’t really know yet.” She slumped forward onto the table, the cool surface soothing against her flushed cheek. “He told me I had to be there at nine or he’d make me run the ER for an entire week.”

She groaned pitifully at the idea. At this point it wasn’t clear which was the lesser of two evils. In approximately seven hours she’d be leaning favourably towards ER duty.

Mark watched Callie revert back to her sulky form. The light in her eyes dimmed, having only returned for that brief period of time when she’d been distracted. It made him sad to see the girl so down and under, and he felt too useless to do anything about it.

He stood up on shaky legs, nearly tipping his chair over backward. “Okay, c’mon. Home time for you.” Mark gestured with a hand and helped Callie wobble to her feet. “You need a shower and sleep so you don’t puke on the patient tomorrow.”

Callie grinned smugly and allowed Sloan to tug her toward the exit, forever grateful that they both lived in the apartment building next door. “I don’t puke when I drink. I can hold my liquor, unlike some people.” She raised a drunken finger and pointed it in his face, smushing it against his nose.

“That was one time and really, really bad beer,” Mark pointed out defensively, swatting it away.

“You threw up in your bowling shoes, loser.”

“That was from watching you stink up the place with your lack of skills.”

Callie snickered and elbowed him hard in the side, a move which sent both equilibrium-challenged individuals stumbling awkwardly through the doorway.

Tomorrow morning would come much too soon, Callie was sure of it.


	2. Chapter 2

_February 18th, 2009_

 

There was not enough Tylenol in the world to fend off the pounding headache Callie endured the next morning for her efforts the night before. It was with great difficulty that she managed to wake up, get out of bed, not fall over in the shower, and drag her sorry ass into work on time. Simple, everyday rituals made her crave an afternoon nap and it was only nine a.m. when she strolled through the front doors of Seattle Grace.

Thankfully she only had one consult today. As soon as it was over, she planned on returning home and tuning out the world for a few hours. She was positive she had another carton of Rocky Road waiting in the freezer for later, when the pain and sorrow of her miserable life would come rushing back all at once – undoubtedly to help a fresh migraine slowly beat what remained of her spirit to death with a giant ugly stick.

Grumbling unhappily, the brunette slammed her locker shut and immediately regretted the action. Her head was still rattling with the sound reverberations moments later when the door to the residents’ lounge swung open.

“The Chief is looking for you,” Cristina Yang announced, either oblivious to Callie’s pain or just not caring enough to whisper.

Callie closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. “Yeah. I have a meeting with him in a few minutes about a patient.”

Cristina sat on the bench in front of her locker, pulling off her shoes. “I’m surprised you’re even awake. You and Sloan only came stumbling in about six hours ago.”

Also Callie’s roommate, Cristina was a little too nosy for her own good sometimes.

“Yeah, well...whatever,” Callie muttered, the dark circles under her eyes growing bigger by the second.

Cristina laughed but didn’t push it any further. She was used to grumpy Torres these days and experienced enough of it at home. She hadn’t exactly had the knowledge bestowed upon her that Callie and Hahn were dating while it was happening, but now that the Cardio surgeon was gone, the news was pretty much all over the hospital.

Normally Cristina would enjoy making a lesser person squirm in a situation like this, except she considered Callie a friend and didn’t plan on pushing her over the edge. Mostly because then she’d have to listen to even more whining and bitching at home as well as at work.

And Callie had already eaten most of her fucking ice cream by now.

However, if she and Sloan started screwing again, Cristina was not above telling them to take it across the hall to his place. Sloan grunted like a constipated bear and drunk Callie was extremely loud when she orgasmed.

Callie pulled on her lab coat, rolled up the sleeves, and brushed a hand back through her tussled hair. “Okay. I go, I talk, I see the patient, I leave. If anyone else asks for me, tell them I’m away for the weekend and I was never here in the first place. Got it?”

“Aye-aye, Captain,” Cristina mused, watching her roommate steel herself for the outside world and shuffle off through the door.

***

“Chief?”

Richard Webber glanced up from the stack of forms on his desk and set down his pen. “Torres. Come in, come in, sit down. We’ve only got a few minutes.” He pulled off his glasses and tossed them aside.

Callie smiled weakly and shut the office door behind her, making her way over. She sat across from him, trying to stifle a painful groan that welled up in the back of her throat when her head gave a throb of protest.

Dr. Webber lifted an eyebrow, studying her pale, sunken-eyed form. “Feeling okay today, Torres?”

Callie forced out a non-toxic smile. “Peachy, Chief. Just a headache,” she replied, purposefully not elaborating as to where it came from.

Webber folded his hands on the desk and leaned forward, getting straight to business. “All right then. I want to start off by letting you know that Colonel Robbins is an old friend of mine.”

It was Callie’s turn to raise a skeptical eyebrow. “Colonel Robbins, sir?”

Webber nodded. “Yes, Colonel Robbins. He’s a Marine I met during my residency years ago. He was injured and came here for treatment. I’ve helped him out a few times over the years and we’ve remained friends.”

Callie waited for more information but nothing else came next. “So I’m helping him? I thought the consult was for someone injured on active duty. He must be really old if you met him during your res–” Her eyes widened substantially and she abruptly stopped talking as soon as she realized her mistake. “-d’um...I-I mean–”

Webber did not look impressed at the inference but he let it slide for now. “His daughter was injured pretty severely overseas a few months ago. She was treated at a military facility in Germany but they don’t have the resources we do here. He contacted me last week to see if I could help. I told him I had one of the best and brightest orthopedic surgeons working for me and that she would be happy to take a look.”

Callie genuinely smiled at the compliment. “She’s a soldier, then?” She had worked with a few Army, Navy and Marine officers over the years. They were always interesting people to get to know. They usually had some pretty gruesome injuries, too.

“A surgeon, actually,” Webber said, watching Callie’s interest peak. “She was injured in a ground attack from what I know. The military hospital sent her initial x-rays, though you’ll need to take some fresh ones. From what I understand, they focus more on crash-coverage in dealing with these types of things, not long-term solutions. You might have your work cut out for you, Torres.”

Callie accepted the folder her boss handed across the desk. She glanced down and quickly flipped through, skimming pages without going into too much detail. She liked knowing a bit of background information before making her own assessments, not become biased based on another doctor’s diagnosis. “Thanks, Chief. For recommending me, I mean. Being a resident and all, it means a lot.”

Webber nodded and leaned back in his chair. “Before you know it, I’m sure you’ll be trading in those light blue scrubs for some navy, and then you won’t be able to say that anymore.” He chuckled at her delighted grin and nodded at the door. “Go on. I think they’ve got her admitted to room 304.”

Callie jumped up, clutching the folder tightly against her side. “Right. I’ll go do that.”

She beamed again and scampered from the office, suddenly aware that her day was about to look up.

***

Alone in a room where the only sound came from the high-frequency buzzing of fluorescent light bulbs, Arizona glanced around the white-washed walls with mild curiosity. She was perched on the edge of a patient bed, realizing that she had almost forgotten what an actual hospital looked like on the inside, with real rooms and real medical machines for professional use. It had been years since she’d really been in one, her six week stay in Germany notwithstanding.

She didn’t remember a lot of details during that time. They had her pretty doped up for the majority of it.

Grunting in discomfort, she shifted impatiently on the bed. A sharp, familiar stab of pain shot through her midsection and a hand instantly flew up to cover the area. She closed her eyes, counted to five, released a deep breath, and dropped it away again.

The slow-healing puncture wound above her right hip acted up whenever she moved around and forgot to take it slow. So did the pain in her chest caused by a collapsed lung. Her right leg, on the other hand, hurt all the time these days, no matter what she did. She hadn’t slept solidly through the night since before the injury occurred.

The door opened and Arizona glanced up as a dark haired woman – presumably the doctor her father was forcing her to see – walked in with her head buried in a folder.

“Okay, Mrs.…uh–” Callie fumbled for the first page, realizing too late that she hadn’t even bothered to learn the patient’s name yet. She stumbled over her own feet and nearly dropped the file.

“Doctor,” Arizona was quick to supply, a slight grin twitching at the corner of her mouth.

Callie stuffed the folder back together and looked up, sweeping her eyes over the patient. It hit her in an instant – this woman was _gorgeous_. Piercing blue eyes and long, wavy blonde hair; beige cargo pants and a white form-fitting t-shirt that showed off the incredible shape she was in; not to mention the sexy dog tags dangling around her neck that made the entire ensemble look just a tiny bit badass.

Callie froze in place and blinked once, her mouth hanging open slightly as she was caught completely off guard by her obscure reaction. How had she not noticed the beauty of the female form before Erica? It was like she had been blind up until a couple of months ago and suddenly she was all with the noticing.

The irony was not lost on her.

Arizona cocked an eyebrow. “Are you in the wrong room or something?”

Callie shook her head and snapped back to reality. “What? No, sorry,” she stuttered, flipping through the Marine’s file again and haphazardly attempting to read it as fast as she could. She barely absorbed a single word as her eyes flew across the page in a panic.

Arizona grinned and waited patiently, thankful the nasty bruises on the side of her face had faded by now. Smiling and talking no longer hurt like they used to.

Her initial reaction to the Colonel’s orders was one of annoyance and general distain. The last thing she wanted to do was see another stuffy old orthopedic surgeon in an unfamiliar city and get her leg cut open for a fourth time when it was only going to make things worse. Luckily for her, this woman was anything but old and stuffy.

“Dr. Robbins,” Arizona spoke up after a moment. “Arizona Robbins.”

Callie’s head shot up in the midst of bumbling around like an idiot. “Huh?”

Arizona shrugged, used to a lifetime of odd reactions to her name. “Yeah, I know. I got beat up a lot as a kid.”

Callie found herself smirking in return. “Doctor Calliope Torres. Nice to meet you.”

Arizona chuckled.

“Been there with the name torture,” Callie added as she trekked over to the exam table. She glanced at the chart in her hands, then to the set of crutches leaning against the bed next to Arizona.

She lifted an eyebrow. “So, I see the wheelchair was a no-go.” A note attached to the file clearly stated that the patient was to use only a wheelchair for mobility until further notice.

Arizona snorted and gave a half-hearted shrug, completely unapologetic for her actions.

“Right,” Callie mused, closing the file and tossing it on the bed.

“I was confined to one for weeks back in Germany,” Arizona pointed out, scratching the back of her neck. “The last thing I want to do is wheel myself around Seattle in the rain.”

She watched as Callie slapped the original x-rays up on a line of light boxes against the far wall, her eyes lingering and taking note of the woman’s dark, gorgeous hair. Not to mention those full, pouty lips. And the nice ass hidden underneath that lab coat.

She’d been stuck in the desert and surrounded by men for _way_ too long.

“I don’t have a cast anymore. They had my entire lower leg encased in this metal cage for two months with half a dozen bolts holding everything in place. I had them remove it before I flew back to the States,” Arizona added after a moment of silence passed. She leaned over to pull up her right pant leg but the motion sent an immediate shot of pain through her abdomen. Her whole body seized up and she turned about as pale as a corpse.

She really needed to stop doing that.

Callie was still staring intently at the x-rays, lost in her own head while she tried to figure out their options. She didn't notice the physical signs coming from the other woman until she heard a sharp gasp from behind. Looking over her shoulder, she saw Arizona’s face twisted up in unbearable pain. Turning on a dime, she rushed over to grab her by the shoulders and kept her from pitching forward.

“Dr. Robbins,” she scolded, helping her slowly sit upright again. “Hey, take it easy; nice and slow.”

Sucking in a sharp breath, unable to hide the outward signs of agony, Arizona nodded mutely and focused on getting past the moment. It took probably ten or fifteen seconds before she could even begin to relax again.

Callie watched her like a hawk the entire time, keeping a supportive hand on each shoulder. “Here, let me help you. Just lie back.”

“I'm not an invalid,” Arizona snapped, wheezing in discomfort as the brunette eased her down against the pillows. She wrenched her arm away with annoyance, a blush of humiliation colouring her cheeks.

“I can see that,” Callie replied smoothly, maneuvering both of Arizona’s legs up onto the bed for her. “Your injuries definitely didn’t affect your overall ability to be grumpy and kind of unpleasant.”

Arizona tried to fix Callie with a hard glare but didn’t have the energy to maintain it right now. Her leg throbbed in protest at being moved, though it was nothing more than a dull ache compared to the sharp knife in her side.

Groaning in defeat, she pulled her shirt up to get a good look at the wound. It was still healing and no longer required stitches or a bandage, but the skin surrounding the four-inch incision on her lower abdomen was discoloured and ugly. It looked about as pleasant as it felt.

“Ew,” she grumbled, wincing. “That’s gross.”

While pulling on a pair of latex gloves, Callie glanced down with the beginnings of a smirk, only to have it falter at the sight of the brutal, jagged scarring. The extensive damage to Arizona’s leg alone was a dead giveaway of just how serious the incident had been. Seeing this on top of it only teased Callie’s curiosity.

“If it's not too personal,” she hedged, “do you mind telling me how all of this happened?” She wasn't even sure if it was appropriate or acceptable to talk about what went on ‘over there’ but she couldn’t help it.

Arizona hesitated, looking away uncomfortably.

“I’m sorry,” Callie added quickly. “I shouldn’t have–”

“No, it’s okay,” Arizona interrupted with a forced smile, glancing up and meeting Dr. Torres’ eyes. A brief image of that day flashed through her mind as she tried to figure out what to say.

Arizona blinked and abruptly looked away again before she could get pulled under. “It, uh…I was operating on a solider from another unit. He was injured in an IED detonation and his entire chest cavity was just a mess.” She shook her head at the blurry memories. “I was trying to find the main source of the bleeding when explosive rounds fired from somewhere nearby. I was standing closest to the first one that hit, though somehow I only took the worst of it in the leg and it didn’t blow me to pieces.”

She glanced down at the glaring reminder of that day on her stomach. “Along with a shattered leg, I got a shiny piece of sheet metal puncturing my gut like a giant fish hook, along with various other fun surprises. Apparently operating on me after was like a scavenger hunt.”

Callie found herself staring, completely speechless. She couldn’t even begin to imagine what that would have been like.

“I was lucky,” Arizona pointed out, shaking her head. “A lot of other people weren’t that day.”

Callie’s frown deepened. “I'm so sorry,” she murmured, still at a complete loss for words. Just hearing the story sent a deep shiver down her spine. Living through it was almost inconceivable.

She ended up laughing nervously to fill the silence that followed, looking down and fiddling with her hands. “And I'm sorry if I offended you or brought up some bad memories.” She fluffed Arizona's pillow as a distraction. “I'm a rockstar with my hands; not so much with my mouth.”

Arizona watched as Callie fussed with the bed sheets, another beat of awkward silence following while they tried to figure out where to go next. “So, you want to see the scrap heap that’s my right leg? I’m told it’s a real turn-on for orthopedic surgeons.”

Callie laughed again. “I don’t need to look at the x-rays to get excited over you.” Any shred of remaining confidence in her abilities immediately went out the window. “That _really_ didn't come out right, I’m so sorry. I meant excited about your injuries. _Not_ that it’s a good thing you got hurt,” she quickly added. “It’s just the surgery will be…yeah.”

God damn it, she was nervous. Nervous and flustered and she had sweaty palms, which was gross. She was pretty sure the extremely hot Marine currently in her care had just about everything to do with it.

Callie needed to talk to Mark and find out if this sort of thing was normal. It wasn’t like she’d had a lot of experience in this area before. Maybe she was just rebounding with the first woman she met to get over Erica. Maybe she was going to find every woman she looked at attractive from now on, no matter who they were.

Mark, he would know. She had to talk to Mark.

Arizona found herself genuinely laughing at Callie’s flustered demeanor, something she hadn’t really done in a long time. “You’re cute,” she teased with a playful grin. “I like that.”

To save Dr. Torres from cramming her foot even further down her throat, Arizona slowly sat up again, grimacing in discomfort and refusing any help this time. She tried to tug on her right pant leg but couldn’t quite reach the end cuff with such limited mobility. Eventually she sighed in exasperation and dropped back against the pillow. “This might go better if I just take off my pants. Think you can give me a hand?”

Callie's eyes widened. “What? No! No. That's what we have nurses for. See?” She slammed a hand down against the call button on the wall.

Arizona jumped at the loud ‘bang’ next to her ear and stared at Callie like she had two heads. Callie just smiled brightly and took a step away as a nurse bustled through the doorway.

Arizona slowly shook her head. “Okay then,” she said slowly. “Give me two minutes and I’ll get all dolled up for you. Polka dots do wonders for my pasty complexion.”

Callie nodded mutely, not trusting herself to speak in this flustered, incompetent state. A short pause later and she just about bolted from the room.

Arizona’s playful demeanor vanished and she stopped the nurse dead in her tracks with a hard stare. “I can do it myself,” she said irritably, forcing her legs over the side of the bed. She carefully dropped down and kept all her weight on the left side, wobbling unsteadily.

Yes, having surgery again might suck, but she really didn’t want mundane things like getting out of bed in the morning to be this hard for the rest of her life. She didn’t have much of a choice at this point. It was a gamble; all or nothing. Either she would walk again or she wouldn’t. Only time would tell.

***

“Torres,” Mark called out, grinning crookedly at his best friend when he saw her pacing the third floor hallway. “You done with the Chief’s consult yet? Wanna get some food?”

He yelped when Callie suddenly grabbed him by the front of his scrubs and yanked him down to eye level.

“She’s hot, Mark. _Really_ hot.” Callie accentuated the words with a hard jerk of her hands.

Mark gaped at her, confused. “Who’s hot?”

“The Chief's consult,” Callie snapped, releasing him with a little shove backward and resuming her pacing. “God, she is _so_ hot,” she mumbled to herself this time.

“There’s gotta be some kind of ethical issue there, right?” She looked to her best friend with wide, almost frightened eyes. “I-I can't do surgery on a woman I think could possibly melt my scalpel the second it touches her skin. That's not right... _right?_ ”

Mark was staring, open-mouthed and dumbstruck. He was still getting used to the whole idea of 'lesbian' and 'Torres' being one and the same.

But it was insanely hot.

“Of course you can,” he pointed out. “You just can’t bang her until she’s discharged.”

He flinched when she punched him hard in the arm. This was better than he’d hoped for. He’d been going about getting Callie over Erica the wrong way. She didn’t need to get drunk, she needed a distraction.

She needed to get laid.

“Does she dig chicks?” he asked.

Callie shrugged, waving a hand. “I don’t know. She's a Marine.”

Mark smirked. “Mmm, yeah. Hardcore chicks are hot. I bet she’s crazy dominant in the sack.”

Callie punched him again.

“Ow! Would you quit doing that? I’m trying to help.”

She glowered for a moment before turning to drop her forehead hard against the wall. “I am so screwed.”

Mark grinned widely. “Here’s hopin’.”

***

Arizona had chased the nurse away and was struggling out of her clothes, reluctantly slipping on the less-than-flattering hospital gown in exchange. She tried to sit pretty and pretend all was well but the effort had left her winded and sweating by the time Callie returned ten minutes later.

It was extremely embarrassing that she couldn’t even take off her own pants without the urge to vomit just from bending over. And for the first time since everything occurred, she felt a little self-conscious about how ugly her injuries were. Before now, she hadn’t given two shakes what anyone thought she looked like.

Aside from the many cuts and abrasions that were still in the process of healing, there were half a dozen fairly large, deep and ugly scars scattered around from pieces of imbedded shrapnel. There were even more incisions along her knee and calf from the external fixation metal casting that had literally been holding her shattered bones together. Some would heal, others would be forever visible. The whole limb was swollen and had turned various shades of purple, green and black over the last eight weeks. She hated looking at it.

Callie kept her nose buried in Arizona's chart at first, scribbling down a few notes before finally tearing her eyes away.

“ _Wow_ , that's bad,” she blurted out the moment she saw the appendage.

Arizona’s heart sunk and she looked down.

Callie shifted her focus to meet the azure gaze with the beginnings of a smile. “Awesome.”

Arizona raised a skeptical brow. “Awesome?” she echoed.

Callie simply shrugged, looking like a kid on Christmas morning as she hurried over. Any lingering nervousness had vanished. She might’ve been terrible at figuring her own personal shit out, but this? This she could do. This she was good at.

Arizona found herself smiling just the tiniest bit. “I forgot you ortho types love the weirdly complicated stuff.”

“You know it,” Callie agreed, visibly excited.

“Should I bother apologizing for my overbearing, pushy father bullying you into this consult? Or is the hot mess that used to be a functioning limb good enough of a payment?” Arizona asked. “Along with my stellar military medical insurance that will pay you handsomely, of course.”

Callie couldn't wipe the grin from her face as she hooked Arizona's chart onto the edge of the bed. “Consider us even,” she replied absently, already going over the many surgical possibilities in her mind.

Arizona didn’t put up a fight this time as Callie helped her swing both legs carefully up onto the bed. She settled back against the elevated surface, eyes traveling back and forth from Callie’s hands to her face as she worked, desperate for any kind of indication as to what the other surgeon was thinking. But the brunette kept quiet the entire time, furrowing her brow and focusing intently as she felt around the damaged tissue.

Arizona gritted her teeth through the uncomfortable process as Callie’s fingers tweaked and moved the joint around. With extremely limited mobility, it didn’t do too much. Finally, after about three minutes of total silence, she couldn’t take the suspense any longer.

“So, Dr. Calliope Torres, orthopedic surgeon extraordinaire. I know you still need fresh x-rays and all that jazz, but can you tell me anything?” Arizona tried to come off sounding cool and casual, even though she was beyond desperate for answers. “Can you do anything to make it less pretzel-like? Do I stand even the remotest chance of ever walking normally again?”

Callie finally looked up, perching Arizona’s calf in her palms. “Give me a few months and I'll have you running a marathon while jumping rope and playing hopscotch.” She smirked confidently. “While standing on one foot. _This_ foot.”

A smile broke out over Arizona’s face and some of the earlier tension left her shoulders. “That’s music to my ears,” she admitted, releasing a soft sigh. She rested her head back against the pillows as Callie set her leg down and picked up her chart again. “Eight weeks ago I had no idea if I’d even still have a leg by the end of this,” she admitted.

That hadn’t exactly been a fun prospect to incessantly worry over. Even when she was on enough morphine to put down a horse, all she could think about was never being able to walk again.

That, and some fucked up dreams about unicorns, the Italian Mafia, and even a homicidal Disney character. And that was only the crap she remembered.

Arizona licked her lips and glanced down again. “I have to say, you don’t strike me as the floundering young resident I thought you might be.” Her brow ticked. “I was expecting someone more experienced when I flew halfway across the country.”

Callie smirked wryly as she stopped scribbling long enough to look up. “Coming from you, I'll take that as a compliment.” She closed the chart and tucked it under her arm, standing up. “You should get some rest. You've got a long day of x-rays, tests and examinations by yours truly ahead of you.”

Callie wasn’t exactly sure when it happened, but apparently her brain had decided she was sticking around for the rest of the day. Even though the prospect of going home and sleeping off the hangover she was stuck with was tempting, her professional excitement over such a challenging case overrode her need for a nap.

Or so she kept telling herself.

She decided to try and find something in the ER to occupy her time until Arizona was ready for more. “I'll come back after I take care of a few things. That should give you enough time to eat and get some rest before the real fun begins. I’ll get an intern to take you for x-rays.”

Arizona grumbled at the prospect of having to be admitted to yet another hospital for God knew how long. “Yeah, right. Sleep. I think I remember what that’s supposed to be like,” she laughed humorlessly. She dragged both hands through her hair and dropped back against the pillow.

“I’m going to start charging you every time you’re grumpy with me,” Callie pointed out, arching a stern eyebrow. Another smirk tugged at the corners of her mouth.

Arizona’s normal response these days would probably have been something snarky and rude, except now she found herself feeling rather sheepish about her moodiness.

“Sorry. I’ll be good.” She made the motion of zipping her lips closed and throwing away the key. It was hard to be grumpy with someone who had a smile as attractive as Callie’s. A smile that Arizona was noticing more and more as the consult went on.

She chalked it up to good karma. Her leg got blown up, so ‘God’ or whomever sent her a sexy surgeon to fix it. Things worked out evenly in the end.

Sort of. It all depended on whether said sexy-but-extremely-young-surgeon succeeded.

“Good,” Callie replied. “I'll prescribe you pain meds and something to help you sleep.” She glanced at the IV that had yet to be hooked up and frowned. “Didn't the nurse set up your line when she came in to help you change?”

Arizona paused for a beat, smiling innocently and showing off her pearly whites.

Callie's eyes narrowed, not buying the act for a second. “Dr. Robbins...”

“I didn’t need her help,” Arizona protested, pouting at the severe glare Callie was leveling her with. “I can take my own clothes off, thank you very much. And she was, like, twelve. I have enough marks on me already without her making my arm look like a junkie’s just because she can’t find a vein.”

She glanced at the IV set-up lying on the rolling tray to her left and reached over to snag the needle and an antiseptic wipe. Ripping open the plastic, she quickly disinfected her forearm and started pulling open the needle packaging.

“Put it down, Dr. Robbins,” Callie snapped as she darted around the other side of the bed, yanking the supplies away before the blonde could get too far.

“Hey!”

“Don't you 'hey' me,” Callie shot back, slamming the items back onto the tray. “You might be _a_ doctor, but _I_ am _your_ doctor on this one, and you're gonna do as I say,” she argued, fixing Arizona with a glare that left no room for argument. “Got it?”

Arizona narrowed her eyes, growling under her breath. She had never been manhandled like this by a doctor before – or any other person for that matter. Usually she was the one doing the manhandling instead.

Callie never wavered, eventually winning the staring contest when the blonde blinked once and looked away. “Good.”

Arizona blinked innocently up at Dr. Torres and held out her arm. “You gonna do it, then? Doctor.” She smiled sweetly.

Callie snorted. “You'd love that, wouldn't you?” She pushed the tray aside and reached up to slap her hand down against the nurse's call button again.

Arizona groaned and closed her eyes.

Callie laughed and moved back. “I told you, I have stuff to do. I can't always be here to babysit and make sure you're a good little girl.”

When the nurse arrived looking apprehensive, Callie fixed her with a look. “Make _sure_ she gets the IV, and if she gives you any trouble, page me. Or possibly security.”

Arizona glared at Callie, who only grinned back in triumph. Blue eyes stayed locked on the brunette’s back as she sauntered from the room, no doubt to go do important surgical things. Things that Arizona would rather be doing instead of lying here getting poked in the arm.

When the young nurse approached again, Arizona eyeballed her closely and forced herself to relax. Being a patient royally sucked when she was used to being on the other side. Still, she felt the need to appease the angry doctor, so she sucked it up and kept her trap shut.

After all, this was only the beginning of a very long road for both of them. There was no sense in starting off on a sour note when the other woman literally held the rest of Arizona’s life in the palm of her hand.


	3. Chapter 3

Mark found Callie a few hours later, fresh out of surgery and lumbering around the OR floor in a daze. “So, did you nail the hot Marine chick yet?”

“ _Mark_ ,” Callie growled impatiently, rubbing the back of her neck. “Don't make me kill you.”

Her entire body ached from head to toe. As gung-ho as she’d been to stay hours before, right now she was wishing she’d just gone home to take that much-needed nap instead of staying to fix a broken femur. With ideas about how to help Arizona rattling around her brain, she knew attempting to sleep would be useless and figured her energy was better spent in the OR. Her hangover from the previous night was still nagging and that didn’t exactly help her mood, however.

Mark eyed her cautiously. “You’d be a lot scarier if you didn’t look like a squirrel could take you in its sleep,” he pointed out, falling into step behind her. He reached up to massage Callie’s stiff shoulders and couldn’t help but smirk at the moan of appreciation that spilled from her lips.

“Gee, Torres, if I wasn’t involved I’d offer my services to help you relieve some of this tension. Maybe take your mind off of women entirely for an hour or two, if you know what I mean.”

Callie grumbled and twisted away from his grasp. “Sloan, just...go away. Please. I can’t deal with this right now.”

He frowned. “Something wrong?”

Callie swiped a hand across her forehead. She might have been in surgery to stabilize a forty-five-year-old’s femur, but it was the leg of a totally different person that she couldn’t seem to get out of her mind. Arizona Robbins was stuck in her head like an ABBA record put on repeat. She’d be thinking about her patient one moment and the next be fixated on the blonde’s peculiar situation and what she could do to help. At times her thoughts were completely focused on what surgical options they had to work with, but others...

Others weren't as professional.

Mark’s teasing faded and he shifted around to walk backwards, watching his best friend closely. “Hey. You can talk to me, y’know? In a serious way. I promise I’ll stop being an ass.”

Callie shrugged sadly and looked down.

“Hey.” Mark lightly grabbed her by the shoulders and stopped in place. “Are you gonna be okay, Torres? I’m worried about you. Since Hahn left you’ve been acting like a zombie. I really hope it isn’t going to take copious amounts of alcohol every time I want to make you laugh again.”

Callie shook her head. “I'm over Erica, really,” she argued, then thought about it for a moment. “Mostly,” she added after a beat. There was no denying that thinking about her ex-girlfriend still hurt.

“I don’t want to talk about her right now. I need a nap.” Callie closed her eyes and let out a long, heavy breath. She was going to have to be at the top of her game when she went in to examine Arizona and her new x-rays later. For that to happen, she required sleep and some super-charged caffeine in her system.

Mark scrutinized her closely before finally giving up. “Okay,” he said reluctantly, stepping back and holding his hands up in surrender. “I’ll stop asking about She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.”

There was another pause, during which time he began to genuinely smile. “If this Marine chick really does float your boat, don’t be afraid to go for it, Torres. You’re hot, you’re a rockstar, and you deserve to be happy.”

Callie stared at him in surprise.

“Just, y’know, wait until you discharge her maybe, so you don’t get fired. Or sued.”

A knowing smirk twitched at the corner of Callie’s mouth. “So it's do as you say and not as you do, huh?”

Mark grinned in return. “I'm a guy. The rules are different for us.”

She laughed. “Oh, is that right?”

He merely shrugged and made his way over to the nearest on-call room door, pausing with a hand on the frame. “Not that I'd really know these days. I’m finding myself more of a one-gal kinda guy.”

Callie couldn’t helped but roll her eyes. “Dear God, Mark Sloan has been domesticated by an intern. What is the world coming to?”

Mark flashed a wider grin. “At least it means I’ve stopped sleeping with patients,” he chuckled. “And nurses. And pharmaceutical reps. And–”

Callie held up a hand. “I get it, you’re happy. Good for you. Now all you have to do is tell Derek you’re boning Little Grey and life will be perfect.”

Mark’s amusement faded. “But I don’t _wanna_ tell Derek,” he whined, all traces of poise and maturity vaporizing in an instant. After a beat of silence, he glared at her a little. “And don't say 'bone'. It sounds so crass.”

Callie's brow line nearly shot right off the top of her head. “Has she got you _that_ whipped already?”

Mark growled under his breath.

Callie laughed, pushing by him to open the on-call room. “This is too good. Can’t wait to see how that one turns out.” She abruptly shut the door in his face.

Mark glared at it. “Fine. I’ll just go find my own room to sleep in, not like I care.” He turned on the spot and stomped away, scowling. “I am _not_ whipped.”

***

Callie’s nap turned into barely thirty minutes of dozing before her stupid pager went off again. Cursing its existence – as well as her own stupid decision to work overtime – she climbed out of bed and stumbled from the on-call room. She would kill the intern that paged her 9-1-1 if it wasn’t an actual emergency.

Which, of course, it wasn’t. The young doctor simply hadn’t wanted to find anyone else to set a kid’s broken wrist, believing a shadow on the x-ray to be cancer. It was a ball of lint. Callie made a mental note to torture that specific intern in the near future and make him wish he’d become a lawyer instead.

Rather than go back to sleep after, she found herself heading back to Arizona’s private room. Subconsciously she fussed with her hair and tried to make it behave, then pushed her sleeves up out of habit. And then pulled them back down again. Then pushed them back up after thinking about it some more.

God, she felt pathetic.

Standing outside of Arizona’s door was the young nurse from earlier. She looked a little terrified as Callie approached.

“Um, Dr. Torres?”

“What?” Callie snapped a little harsher than intended.

The nurse took a step back and fumbled for an explanation. “Uh...I–”

Callie noticed the move and released a heavy sigh. “I'm sorry,” she offered tiredly, rubbing at her aching head. “I haven't really slept much.” She forced out a weak smile. “Is there something I can help with?”

“Um...” The nurse swallowed hard. “She’s gone.”

Callie’s brow ticked. “What?”

“Um.” The young woman stepped away from the door to reveal an empty bed inside. “I swear I only left for a little while. She said she was tired and needed some sleep, but when I came back...” she trailed off.

Callie gritted her teeth and clenched her fists by her sides. She didn't know what Arizona Robbins was trying to pull, but she had _better_ hope Callie found her before she pulled it.

“Damn it,” she growled under her breath before turning away and storming back down the hall. It couldn’t be _that_ hard to find a crippled patient with no pants and one good leg. Or so she told herself.

Arizona couldn’t have gone very far.

***

The fifth floor balcony was reserved for staff members only, proclaimed a sign nailed to the door. With a stroke of luck, Arizona found it unoccupied. She’d hitched an elevator ride after pulling her pants back on, exerting a painful amount of time and effort to accomplish that feat alone. She wasn’t about to hobble around the hospital in a polka-dot gown like a crazy person that just escaped from the psych ward.

So now she was in a polka-dot gown and cargo pants. Marginally better.

The IV had been ripped from her arm and she’d stolen back the crutches Dr. Torres made the nurse put in the closet. She was not about to use a damn wheelchair again, thank you very much. Most importantly of all, the pants she wore came with something she found herself desperately seeking in that moment – a cigarette.

Arizona hadn’t smoked more than very, very occasionally in her life. It was a bad habit that surfaced only when she was stressed. Cigarettes were disgusting and caused so many types of cancer, she despised herself for even stealing the occasional puff. It had stopped when she was overseas, however; she’d figured there were already enough things trying to kill her, why help them out?

On her first day in Seattle, Arizona picked up her first pack in over six months, along with a silver lighter. Up on the balcony, she stood on her good leg and tried to hold a crutch under each arm, leaning forward with the tip of a cigarette balanced between her lips. Both hands shook as she tried repeatedly to start the lighter, but between the shaking and the wind, the flame kept going out.

“ _Fuck_ ,” she growled under her breath.

“Consider it a sign, Dr. Robbins.”

Arizona's head snapped up and she twisted around.

Callie Torres stood just a few feet away with both hands jammed into the pockets of her lab coat, eyes leveled directly on the blonde. She did not look in the least bit impressed.

“Crap,” Arizona muttered to herself, cigarette still perched between her lips.

“Oh, it's a lot worse than 'crap',” Callie shot back, striding over. She reached up in one quick motion to pluck the cigarette away. “These'll kill ya,” she added, tossing it over the edge of the building.

Arizona watched it go, heart plummeting in her chest. The look in Callie’s eyes made it clear that she was next if she didn’t cooperate. “I haven’t smoked since last Christmas,” she defended, “and then another six months before that. It’s a...bad, yet very occasional habit.” She tried to pocket the lighter and ended up dropping it to the floor with a clatter. “Damn it!”

Arizona tightened her grip on the left crutch, shifting her weight uncomfortably as she flexed her right hand. “I just needed to relax, okay?”

Callie's eyes widened in disbelief. “So you disappear from your room without telling anyone where you're going?” She glanced down at the crutches. “ _And_ you're putting more stress on your body because you're too stubborn to just use a damn chair?”

Arizona grimaced.

“ _And_ you’re smoking? In a hospital, before surgery, you’re smoking?”

“Maybe,” Arizona muttered under her breath. She tried to glare back but the brunette’s eyes burned a hole right through her defenses. Suddenly she felt like a huge idiot.

Sighing, she hobbled on her left leg and moved back to lean against the wall of the hospital for support, resting more weight onto the right crutch. “You have heard that doctors make the worst patients, right?” she pointed out, attempting to smile brightly and disarm the other woman. “So technically speaking, it would be weirder if I _wasn’t_ giving you a hard time.”

Callie narrowed her eyes further. “You're just lucky I had a nap earlier.” She abruptly snatched the crutches away. “Wait here. I'm gonna go get you a chair.”

Arizona snorted.

“And _don't_ give me that crap or I _swear_ I will leave you out here for the rest of the night,” Callie snapped, pointing a finger in her face.

Arizona gaped helplessly after the brunette as she stalked back inside, leaving her there without anything means of support except the wall behind her and the leg she still had in tact, which meant that she was effectively stranded.

Calliope Torres was a smart girl.

Arizona growled under her breath and crossed her arms in a huff, pouting at a pigeon that perched itself on the railing. “ _Women_.”

***

A short time later, she was still grumbling to herself as Callie helped her back into bed. She peered up cautiously but Callie refused to make eye contact. A soft sigh escaped her lips despite her irritation at getting nicotine-blocked. “Look, I'm sorry.”

Callie remained silent as she helped Arizona scoot up to the pillows. She stepped away to let her to settle in and reached for the tray of IV materials.

The silence was unnerving. Arizona watched the brunette’s hands work. “Hey, I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to be a thorn in your side, I just...” She trailed off and looked away. “I hate hospitals, they’re too quiet. It freaks me out a little when I’m left to my own devices. Too much time to think about everything, y’know?”

Callie continued to operate in silence as she reinserted Arizona’s IV. She allowed herself a brief glance upward.

“Dr. Torres? Please,” Arizona whispered, all traces of tension and annoyance gone by now.

“Look,” Callie relented, pausing to look up and meet her patient’s eyes. Whatever she’d been planning to say faltered before it could leave her mouth.

Arizona had such intense, bright blue eyes. It caught her off guard again.

The blonde didn’t look away, holding Callie’s gaze with a somber one of her own. “I’m sorry. I won’t do it again,” she promised. She found herself meaning those words more than she thought she would. In fact, Arizona felt as though she needed to be on extra-special behavior after this little incident, if only just to win back the doctor’s trust.

That, too, surprised her more than a little. Since when did she care?

Callie finally managed a tiny half-smile. “You’d better not,” she warned, finishing up with the IV and removing her gloves. She finally looked away and busied herself cleaning up the leftover materials.

Arizona released a breath of relief and settled back once more.

“I'll be back in a few minutes to examine your leg. If you go anywhere, I will cuff you to this bed,” Callie argued.

Arizona managed a weak nod, feeling her stomach churn as Callie disposed of the materials in a biohazard bin next to the trash can.

It wasn’t so much the idea of having surgery again that made her uncomfortable; it was the idea of floundering around as this useless, piece-of-shit leg of hers was poked, prodded, and subjected to various other painful examinations. She knew Callie would want to do a million range-of-motion tests when she came back with the new x-rays taken earlier that day. Those were extremely painful when said range-of-motion was a zero-to-one at best.

As it was, she’d already embarrassed herself enough for one day.

“Can you, um...” Arizona cleared her throat, causing Callie to pause in the doorway. “You think you can ask that nurse from before where she put my stuff? My dog tags are missing and they belonged to someone else. I want to make sure they don’t get lost.”

Callie looked back over her shoulder. “I'll be sure to ask.”

Arizona smiled tentatively. “Thanks.”

“Any time,” Callie replied, shaking her head and leaving the room.

Arizona bit her bottom lip and rolled her eyes at herself, dropping her head back once again.

Oh, she was _so_ screwed.

***

Arizona’s stubborn streak hadn’t faded completely, though she didn’t like to think of it as going back on her word. She refused to let the nurse remove her pants yet again, struggling out of them by herself. It left her in that stupid, horribly ugly hospital gown and her underwear once more, as if this whole thing wasn’t humiliating enough to begin with.

By the time Callie got back twenty minutes later, Arizona was thoroughly cranky again. She’d slid off of the bed by herself, teetering on her left leg and using both arms to brace against the edge. Her right leg hung uselessly off of the ground while she stared at it hard, trying to move her foot. Not so much as a single toe twitched.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Arizona's head jerked up at the sharp voice. A moment of fear seized her when she was met with a menacing glare.

“You promised me,” Callie snapped as she stalked over to guide her patient back into bed, keeping a firm grip on her upper arm so she didn’t try and escape again. “Arizona Robbins, I swear you are a huge pain my ass today.”

Callie helped the blonde settle back and pulled the sheet up to firmly tuck it around her body, pointing a finger in her face. “ _Stay_.”

“I’m not a poodle, Dr. Torres,” Arizona shot back defensively.

Callie’s nostrils flared in annoyance as they entered into a tough staring contest.

Blue eyes were the first to blink.

“I wasn’t running away again,” Arizona argued, sagging back into the pile of pillows. “I was just testing it out.” She watched as Callie pulled the sheet up from below, moving it past her right knee so the damaged portion was the only thing visible.

Arizona glared bitterly at the appendage, looking away with a huff. “I can’t even wiggle my toes. I can’t _feel_ my toes. Or at least I can’t distinguish them from the rest of the scrap heap.”

Callie smiled sympathetically, sensing her frustration and easing off with the guilt-trip. “It's not so bad,” she replied, glancing up. “At least it’s still attached to the rest of you.”

Arizona merely shrugged and continued to brood.

“Okay, this shouldn't hurt too much,” Callie added, settling onto a rolling stool and adjusting her grip on the calf.

Arizona barely paid any attention until a sudden jolt of pain lasered through the entire limb. She shot upright and dug her fingers into the sheets. “ _Ow!_ ”

“Sorry,” Callie called distractedly, focused on the poking and prodding part of the process.

Arizona’s arms strained as she winced away from the touch. She clamped her mouth shut and didn’t say anything. Partly because she was a Marine and Marines were tough, but also because crying like a baby in front of the pretty doctor would be horribly embarrassing. Instead, she hissed when Callie very carefully tried to move her knee from side to side and swallowed a yelp that involuntarily rose in her throat. It came out as more of a strangled grunt as she squeezed her eyes tightly shut.

Callie glanced up to see a fair amount of pain etched onto the blonde's features. She gently released the injured leg and leaned back. “Maybe you should get some sleep first. I think I'm pushing it too hard here.”

Arizona immediately shook her head. “No, I’m fine. Keep going.” At the skeptical look she received in return, she quirked an eyebrow at the brunette. “Honestly? It hurts, but it’s never going to stop hurting unless you figure out how to fix it. And I’d really like that to happen sooner rather than later.”

She tried her best to push the throbbing to the back of her mind and nodded to the folder holding newly developed x-rays over on the side table. “What do the scans show? Do you have a plan of attack yet?”

Callie glanced at the file. “Not exactly,” she said honestly as she reached over to pull out the scans. She held the first one up to the light and turned it so Arizona could see the image, bending down closer to the bed. Close enough that she could feel the heat radiating from the blonde's body.

Callie had to clear her throat and use all of her energy to focus on the task at hand.

Arizona frowned in concentration as her eyes swept over the image. “Jeeze. I know they only did what they could at the time, but it looks like they stapled pieces of a broken end table in there and hoped it would hold.” Her frown deepened.

The longer she studied the image, the bigger the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach became. Despite the injury being almost two months old, the shattered bone looked off in many places, like it had barely begun to heal properly.

“Is this your way of telling me there’s nothing much you can do?” she asked after a moment. While orthopedic surgeons were notorious for being crazy inventive with some of their ideas, Arizona didn’t think ‘inventive’ would cut it here.

Callie slowly began to smirk. “My dear,” she teased, dropping the first x-ray and reaching for the next one. “You have _severely_ underestimated me and my awesomeness with a scalpel.”

That made Arizona laugh.

“So far, I'm thinking you’ll need a thicker titanium rod and possibly a knee replacement.” Callie slipped into professional-mode with ease. “I’ll remove the screws they already put in and essentially start from scratch. I’ll need to get a good look at the muscle damage, figure out how much tissue I’ll need to remove to allow everything to heal properly. I’d also like to dig out the remaining shrapnel pieces so they don’t cause any problems for you in the future.”

Arizona blinked, shocked into silence.

Callie tilted her head as she studied the second image intently. “You’re probably looking at another three, maybe four surgeries. It depends on what I see what I get in there the first time.”

Arizona’s mouth fell open. “Come again?”

Callie didn’t seem to hear her. “Unfortunately, neither your fibula or tibia were set quite right, so I’m going to have to re-break them at the main fracture points here and here where they’ve started to heal crookedly.” She pointed out the two locations she meant.

“Then you’re going to need a rod inserted into your tibia to stabilize it with the amount of damage it sustained. It’ll act as a splint for your fibula, which is the good news, because that means the fibula doesn’t need any titanium support. For now, of course; that might change later depending on how the healing process goes. Your bones were splintered when you were hit, so there’s only so much I’ll be able to correct.”

Callie shook her head. “And your knee is just a total disaster. I’m assuming you already knew that, seeing how you cried like a baby when I touched it.”

Arizona scoffed and crossed her arms, mumbling “did not” under her breath.

Callie pulled out the third x-ray. “You’ll need a knee replacement, I’m almost positive. The last thing I’d do is remove the remaining pieces of shrapnel that are imbedded in the bone and muscle tissue. I think I can do it without having to remove too much of the muscle itself; it’ll depend on how bad it is once I’m in there.”

Arizona’s head spun as she took it all in. She hadn’t exactly expected to be in and out overnight, but this was a little more extensive than she’d realized.

“That’s...a-a lot,” she stuttered, swallowing thickly. “And the end result? I’ll be half-machine, but I should be able to walk? Or hobble-slash-lumber? Maybe even lurch?”

“Well, at least you're looking on the bright side,” Callie murmured to herself as she scanned the last x-ray again. She was quiet for a moment before finally standing back up to her full height. She tossed the film onto the pile with the other two.

“Worst case scenario?” Arizona asked.

Callie hesitated.

“Please, just tell me,” Arizona begged. “I’m a trauma surgeon, Dr. Torres. I realize how bad it is.”

Taking in a deep breath, Callie pushed all personal feelings aside. “Worst case scenario – and I really do mean worst – the damage is too severe and infection becomes a real issue. If that were to happen, I would have to amputate above the knee.”

Arizona’s stomach churned with a violent nausea and she stared hard at her lap.

Callie placed both hands on her hips and focused on the mangled leg, chewing on her bottom lip thoughtfully. “But I’m good at what I do. Really good, and I don’t think that’ll happen. It'll be challenging for sure, but I'm up for a fight it if you are.” She shifted her eyes up to meet Arizona’s and began to smile, somehow knowing the answer before it was even spoken. The woman was a fighter, without a doubt.

Arizona’s stomach flopped. “I’ve never backed down from a challenge in my life; not about to start now.”

She was under no delusions that this would be easy. She was a surgeon; she knew exactly what the recovery would be like and how much it would hurt. But this was her chance, probably the only one she would ever have. That was all that mattered.

“Thank you,” she added after a moment, reaching out and grasping Dr. Torres’ hand with a hard squeeze. “I mean it. Thank you for not taking one look and kicking me to the curb.”

Callie shrugged casually, even though butterflies the size of Texas swarmed her insides. “What can I say? I’m good and I don’t try to hide it.”

Arizona’s smile slowly morphed into a playful grin. “Of course, this _does_ that mean you’re stuck with me now,” she pointed out, dropping Callie’s hand and leaning back.

Callie laughed. “Guess it's a good thing I’ve got enough patience for the both of us, then. You just try to behave and I think we’ll manage.”

Something about the confidence in Callie's voice allowed Arizona to relax for the first time since meeting her hours before. Despite her initial concerns about a resident taking lead on her case, Callie was the first person to be honest about the situation, up front about the challenges yet confident and talented enough to give her hope for a better outcome. The way the brunette carried herself left no doubt in Arizona's mind that she really believed in what she was saying. None of the other surgeons she'd seen had that level of excitement Callie seemed to be exuding in waves.

"I'll do my best, Dr. Torres," Arizona answered quietly after a moment of studying her surgeon closely, knowing that behaving from here on out was the least she could do. "No more smoking."

Callie snorted and reached for the nearby chart. "Add 'no more escaping' to that list and we have a deal." She flipped it open before pausing, pen poised over paper. "And since we're going to be spending a lot of time together over the next few months, you should start calling me Callie. Dr. Torres makes me sound old and stuffy." It also wouldn't hurt to have Arizona feel more comfortable in her presence, given the amount of pain she'd have to cause her before things got even remotely better.

Arizona laughed. "Okay then. In that case, we should drop the formalities all together and you can start calling me Arizona. _Calliope._ "

The corner of Callie's mouth twitched. "Don't suppose there's any way I can convince you to stick with 'Callie', is there?"

A bright, shiny grin and a noncommittal hum were her answer.

Sighing, Callie spent a minute scribbling down some notes on the blonde's chart before setting it aside. “All right, I guess we're gonna try this again. You sure you're up for it right now?”

Arizona nodded. “Yep. Maneuver away.” She pushed herself up into more of a sitting position, ignoring the twinge in her side. Her fingers closed around the bed sheets again as Callie pulled on her gloves and went back to examining her leg.

It wasn’t as bad as it could have been, except when Callie tweaked the knee to the side. Arizona ground her teeth and stiffened, somehow managing to not to whimper like a kicked puppy. She wanted to keep some shred of dignity in front of the hot doctor, even if she didn’t have very much left by this point.

Callie glanced up, pausing with Arizona’s leg hand, and the blonde shot her a quick, somewhat forced smile. “I’m good, really. There’s no one else I’d rather have manhandle me,” she added through a strained laugh.

Callie merely chuckled. “Oh, trust me, this is me being gentle. You'll know when I'm manhandling you.”

Arizona focused on breathing while Callie continued her routine inspection, pausing every so often to take notes. She had a feeling some of the breaks were really just to give her a breather.

By the time they were finished twenty minutes later, a bead of sweat rolled down her forehead and she dropped back with an exhausted groan. “Gee, if this is how it feels before you slice me open three more times, I can’t _wait_ for physical therapy,” Arizona joked, swallowing hard and wiping the back of her hand across her forehead.

Callie grinned and peeled off her gloves, then reached across the small rolling tray for her stethoscope. “Can you lean forward for me? I just need to re-take some of your vitals.”

Arizona nodded and sat up, grimacing at the deep ache in her side. She released a hard breath and pulled her hair over her shoulder, the open back of her hospital gown falling open to reveal pale skin.

The brunette placed the instrument in her ears and moved up behind Arizona. She stopped when her eyes met the scarred flesh along the woman’s back. There were at least three or four marks that were in various stages of healing, but one in particular really stood out. It was a long, jagged line that curved around the right side of Arizona's ribcage to just past the center of her back.

Callie’s hands froze in place.

“I got it the same day as the rest of this mess,” Arizona spoke up, knowing exactly what the hold up was. “I landed on something sharp when the explosion knocked me back. No idea what it was, but it nearly sliced me in half. Thankfully it only took a few stitches.” A few hundred, perhaps. She couldn’t remember exactly how many; somewhere along the lines of ‘a lot’.

Callie’s hand hovered over the marred flesh. She didn’t know what to say. Every time she thought she got a handle on what Arizona had been through, something else cropped up and reminded her of just how much this woman had endured in a relatively short period of time.

“I know, it’s really attractive,” Arizona added dryly, fiddling with her hands. “Goes well with the mangled leg, don’t you think? Makes me look like Frankenstein’s monster. All I’m missing are the two little neck knob-y things.”

“It's not that bad,” Callie offered quietly.

Arizona snorted in disbelief.

“It's not,” Callie insisted. “It's a war wound, we all have them. They're just not always on the outside. Yours happen to be.”

Arizona shrugged and ducked her face down, clearly not believing a word of it.

Callie took in a shallow breath and pressed the stethoscope to her back. She tried really hard to focus and ignore any thoughts of how smooth the blonde’s skin was, or how she was more than a little tempted to run her fingers along that scar.

“Take in a deep breath for me,” Callie instructed, forcing all thoughts other than the professional ones to the side for now. Getting fired for inappropriate patient conduct was the last thing she needed when her career was this close to taking off.


	4. Chapter 4

_February 20th, 2009_

 

  Two days into Arizona’s stay at Seattle Grace, Callie had finally drawn up her preliminary plans for surgery. It was going to be a long and difficult road for the blonde, but Callie was confident she would leave the building in much better shape than she had entered.  

Narrowing everything down to three surgeries, each approximately three to four weeks apart, she confirmed with the Chief that Arizona would be staying in the hospital for the duration. She had no support system in Seattle and nowhere else to go in between, not to mention the severe lack of mobility once things got started, and she’d already shown a lack of desire to stick to a wheelchair when told to.

  So Callie gathered her plans and brought the information to Arizona’s room sometime during the third afternoon of her stay. She found the woman reclined back in bed, looking bored as she stared at the small television screen attached to the opposite wall.  Hearing someone enter, Arizona looked over and returned the small smile sent her way. “Hey.”  

“Hey yourself.” Callie set the folder she was carrying down on the side table and reached for the chart at the end of the bed. She glanced up at the TV. “I forgot the game was on. I never get to watch anymore unless I have the day off. Are you a Dolphins fan, too?”  

Arizona snorted. “Yeah, right, like _that_ would ever happen,” she mused. “Nope. I never really lived in one place long enough to call it home, until my family settled in San Diego. I was fifteen and stayed right up until I moved for university, so I’ve dubbed myself a Chargers fan.”  

Callie ‘tsk’ed under her breath, shaking her head in disappointment as she scribbled some notes down. “Lame. Chargers suck.”  

“Then why are we winning?” Arizona asked smugly, taking a sip from the water bottle sitting on her food tray.  

Callie looked up at the scoreboard and scowled.

  Arizona chuckled and set the water down again. “So, I see you’ve brought me paperwork. Does this mean we’re all set?”

  “I hope so,” Callie replied, pulling up a chair and sitting next to the bed. “I have you scheduled for your first surgery the middle of next week. I’m going to be breaking the bones in your leg to re-set them properly in two places.” She paused when Arizona grimaced. “It’ll hurt, but in the long run you’ll be less likely to experience residual problems. After the surgery, I’ll re-cast your leg for the next few weeks until we’re ready to go back in. At that point I’ll be giving you a full knee replacement, because I think it will make your life easier than just giving you a partial. After that, I’ll wait a little longer to see how much muscle damage there is, then remove what’s necessary.”  

Arizona’s attention was solely on Callie now, football game forgotten. She swallowed hard, a rock settling in the pit of her stomach. “Wow. That’s...intense.”  

“You’re in good hands,” Callie offered with a friendly smile. She could tell Arizona was a little overwhelmed. “All you need to do is sit back and take it easy. And _listen_ to me. No more running around on a pair of crutches, okay? Or anything else that brain of yours might be scheming.”  

“I don’t scheme,” Arizona retorted, narrowing her eyes. “I’m just...independent.”

  Callie let out a bark of laughter. “Yeah, okay. Sure.” She pulled out some papers from her file folder and set them down on Arizona’s bedside tray. She pulled a pen from her pocket, clicked it open and passed it over as well. “Sign these forms and I’ll be out of your hair.”

  Arizona sighed and reluctantly began to focus on the stack of paper. Callie reclined back in her chair and watched the game unfold on TV. “Are you a big football fan?”  

“Not particularly,” Arizona replied, frowning as she skimmed over some of the information. “The rest of my family is. I’m more of a hockey person.” She glanced up and smirked when Callie raised an eyebrow at her. “I went to Boston University for my undergrad. We didn’t even have a football team but our hockey program was amazing.”  

“Lame,” Callie repeated. “Remind me to take you to a Seahawks game when you get out of here, show you what a real sport looks like.”

  Arizona laughed and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, you’re definitely a Dolphins fan.” She signed the last page, then pushed the pile back over to Callie. “I take it you’re from Miami?”

  “Just outside,” Callie answered, not taking her eyes from the screen. “Grew up in the same house my entire life, then left to go to Brown for med school. It was both awesome and terrifying at the time. I wanted to get out on my own, from under my father’s thumb, but at the same time I had never lived away from home before.”

  “I wish I had stayed in one place. My family moved around so often, I don’t even really have a city I consider myself ‘from’. San Diego is where I spent the last few years with my parents before school and they’ve settled back there since my dad retired from active duty, so that’s about as close as I can get. Hence, the Chargers,” Arizona said, gesturing towards the TV as she settled back into the pillows. “I haven’t been able to watch a game in almost four years.”

"I imagine being overseas hinders the football watching regiment,” Callie agreed. “How many places did you live growing up, anyway?" She picked up the papers and flipped through them, smiling at how pretty and girly Arizona’s handwriting was despite her gruff exterior.

  Arizona frowned, thinking about it. “God, I don’t know...a lot? Probably nine or ten by the time I was fourteen. We only got to settle down a little more towards the end. I think my least favourite place to live was Phoenix, for the obvious reason. Plus, it was too hot.”

  "Kind of like how I hated it in school when we read anything by Homer in English class?” Callie chuckled at the curious look she received. “You know, with the whole ‘Calliope as his muse’ thing? I kept getting called ‘Homer’s Whore’, because there was a fat dude named Homer that sat in the back of the room. It sucked." The right side of her face twitched slightly at her lame attempt at making a connection to their odd names. She was terrible at small talk.  

“It makes me think that if I ever had to reproduce, I’d name the kid ‘Frank’ or ‘Kate’ or something simple. Unlike our parents, who failed to think of the life-long repercussions that odd names can bring.” Arizona grinned sideways at the brunette. “For the record, I like Calliope. It’s pretty.”  

"So is Arizona. It has class. And it’s quirky.” Callie smiled and glanced down. “I don't know about the kid thing. Even though at times I hated having a crazy name, it always made me feel…different? Maybe ‘different’ is the wrong word, but I was always unique, at least. Separate from the herd.”

“True,” Arizona relented. “I guess no one could ever lump us in with the rest of the crowd. I doubt there are many Callie and Arizona’s out there.”

“Probably not,” Callie mused. “It doesn’t hurt having that as an ice breaker, either. You can come up with some totally fake and impressive story about how you got it.”

  “Makes for interesting conversations,” Arizona laughed. “Though I once met a girl named Lisa Von Trapp. She took more crap than I did in fifth grade. I don’t even know if that was her real name; it was just close enough that that’s all anyone ever called her.”  

"Oh my _God_ , that's my all-time favorite movie!” Callie blurted in excitement. She immediately cringed when the other woman laughed in surprise. “And now you're sworn to secrecy because _nobody_ knows that about me and I don't want it getting out.”

“Ooh, blackmail,” Arizona teased.

Callie shook her head with a dreamy sigh. “I loved me some Charmian Carr. She was so beautiful in that movie."

Arizona tried desperately to contain her delighted laughter. The badass orthopedic rockstar had a thing for _The Sound of Music_ , who knew?  

“How about you make me a deal?” Arizona quirked an eyebrow at Callie. “You bring in the DVD and find a way for us to watch it, and I promise I won’t run away on you or the nurses again.”  

"You like _The Sound of Music_?" Callie's eyes widened and a huge grin broke out.

  “Yeah, a little.” Arizona paused. “I kind of dressed as Maria three years in a row for Halloween when I was a kid.” She grimaced at the embarrassing admission. “My mom finally forced me to wear something new on year four. She said I had to be more ‘creative’.”

  "That's the best thing I've ever heard,” Callie giggled in disbelief. “Did you wear the gray nun's thing she came from the abbey in? Or the curtain dress?” She couldn’t help herself; she was over-excited that she’d discovered this fact about the other woman. It seemed so out of character.

  Arizona sighed heavily, well aware that she was humiliating herself yet somehow not caring enough to stop. Callie’s bright grin was both infectious and irresistible. “Years one and three, respectively,” she finally answered with a slight blush.  

"You do realize we can never admit these things outside of this room, right?” Callie grinned again and so did Arizona. “Oh yeah – I got the puppet theater thing, puppets included, for my sixth birthday. I used to put on plays for my parents and grandparents. I loved that thing so much."

  “Really?” Blue eyes sparkled and Arizona sat up even more. “Damn, woman. I _begged_ my dad to cave in and buy the smaller version for me, like, six years in a row for Christmas. But it was way too expensive. Either you’re rich or you were better at batting your eyelashes and sucking up than I was.”  

"Uh, y-yeah, something like that, I guess.” Callie cleared her throat awkwardly, wanting to steer the conversation far away from her finances. “How about I make _you_ a deal instead? I'll bring in the movie _and_ some popcorn, and if you keep your butt in that bed without complaining for the next couple of weeks, I’ll start sharing awkwardly embarrassing stories about my childhood, too.”  

“Deal.” Arizona immediately stuck out her hand and Callie grasped it tightly, shaking on it. “Just remember the popcorn or I’m gonna hold out on you ‘til you do.”

  "Oh you will, will you?” A playful glint flashed in Callie’s eyes. “If that’s the case, I might not–”

Her pager decided to start beeping before she could finish her sentence. She groaned in annoyance and pulled it off of her coat, staring at the screen. “Dammit.”

  Arizona pouted, sad that their conversation was about to be cut short. She was thoroughly enjoying goofing off with Callie and for some reason didn’t feel completely mortified admitting her childhood obsessions. Talking actually came very easily between the two of them, it was kind of surprising.  

“Go be awesome,” the blonde instructed, waving a hand at the door. “I’ll let you know who wins the game later.”

  "Yeah, I'm sure you will.” Callie stood up. “And I'll let you in on the juicy details of whatever I just got paged for. It’ll keep your skills sharp while you're stuck here.” She tapped her fingers against the metal railing lining the side of the bed. “Hang in there, okay? And remember what you promised."  Arizona wrinkled her nose and whined. “I miss cutting,” she pouted, slumping back. “It’s been months since I’ve seen the inside of a human being.”

A comment like that would be taken as creepy and serial killer-like by anyone who wasn’t a surgeon, they both knew this. Callie chuckled and stopped at the doorway to flash Arizona another quick smile. Crossing the threshold, she couldn't help but roll her eyes at the wacky turn the conversation had taken. Who knew they would have something geeky in common like _The Sound of Music_?

As she walked away, she took notice of the slight twinge her stomach gave at the thought of having to leave the room so soon, but she quickly dismissed it and picked up the pace as she headed down to the ER.

 

***

 

 _February 25th, 2009_

 

The morning of Arizona’s first surgery, Callie decided to drop in after rounds to see how she was doing. Of course, it was strictly because she wanted to be a good doctor, not for any other reason of any kind. She’d been telling herself that same thing every morning she stopped by with coffee and a breakfast muffin for the blonde; telling herself that she was being a good physician and keeping a patient with no support system occupied and in good spirits.

That excuse was starting to wear thin and she was the one that had come up with it in the first place. Rounding the corner and approaching Arizona’s room, she heard voices inside. She stopped in the doorway and her eyes immediately narrowed in suspicion.

Mark Sloan.

Arizona was laughing at something he said, holding her hospital gown to the side as Mark’s hands examined the injury on her abdomen. Callie’s fingers tightened around her coffee cup at the image of his fingers on her skin.

Arizona glanced at the door and caught sight of the brunette. “Calliope,” she called out cheerfully, sending the other woman one of her best dimpled smiles.

Mark suddenly looked up. “Torres. Wasn't expecting to see you so soon.”

Callie glared at him. “So I can see.” She took a few steps into the room, never taking her eyes away from Mark. “Why exactly are you examining _my_ patient, Dr. Sloan?”

Mark shot her that patented smirk of his. “Just picking up your slack, offering my services to try and fix some of those nasty, nasty scars.” He really turned on the charm, practically oozing ‘smooth’. “A beautiful woman such as this shouldn't have to endure such a physical burden.”

Arizona stared incredulously up at him and shook her head, apparently unfazed. “You are so full of shit, Dr. Sloan.”

“I’m never full of shit,” Mark replied, sending Arizona his best smile.

The blonde shook her head again and glanced over at Callie, her grin faltering at the perturbed look on the other woman’s face. “I was just telling him I won’t be needing his, um...‘services’ any time soon.” She shot Sloan a pointed look.

Callie snorted once, then laughed. Rather loudly.

Mark glared at her before stepping away from Arizona. “Okay then, I’ll leave you two to it.” He quickly pulled off his gloves and shook his head, striding over to Callie.

“Lesbian,” he muttered, steeling the cup of coffee from her hand and exiting the room.

Callie was still laughing. “Don't mind him, his man pride gets a little wounded when any woman turns him down flat.”

Arizona looked amused. “So any woman that turns him down is automatically a lesbian, huh?”

Callie’s own amusement faded. “Er, no, he’s just a guy, so he’s...sorry if he offended you or something.” She cleared her throat and grabbed Arizona’s chart, flipping through it clumsily.

Arizona kept an eye on her. “I never said that I wasn’t,” she replied after a moment. “Just that his ego could probably use a bit of a reality check.”

There was a brief lull in conversation and the fact that Callie was avoiding eye contact peaked her interest. “So, you and Dr. Sloan. Have you ever...?”

“What?” Callie looked up, nearly dropping the chart. “Uh, once. Well, way more than once,” she added with a slight tilt of her head. “Just...all at one time. Mostly.”

Arizona quirked an eyebrow.

Callie’s eyes widened with panic. “But that was way, _way_ before I ever knew I liked girls.” Fuck. This wasn't going too well.

She sighed, blushing with embarrassment. “I promise I'm not usually this lame. I'm only lame when I'm nervous.”

Well, since she was being so honest here...

“You make me nervous,” Callie added softly after a short pause.

Arizona found herself smiling again. She did that a lot around Calliope Torres, it seemed. “I do?” she asked quietly, tilting her head to the side as she watched the other woman blush. She was awfully cute when she did that.

Arizona’s smile widened when Callie looked away to scribble something down on her chart. She opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted when two nurses came into the room to prep her for surgery. The first surgery of many, where the pretty doctor had to re-break and re-set her leg all over again. In two places.

Fun.

Arizona followed Callie with her eyes as she gave out orders and then headed for the door. “Hey.” She sat up a little more when the woman turned back, still flushed in the cheeks. “Will I see you after? Or are you too much of a busy-body to check up on a lonely old patient that’ll be all by herself when she wakes up?”

Callie only got redder, but she managed a confident grin nonetheless. “I promise I'll be the first face you see.”

Arizona genuinely smiled. “Lucky me.”

Callie left before she spontaneously combusted from embarrassment.

 

***

 

As she entered OR Two from the scrub room, Callie headed over to the table, pausing to gaze down at Arizona’s unconscious form. A nurse pulled on her gloves and tied up the back of her surgical gown while others bustled around them. She studied the exhaustion etched into the blonde’s face, the tube down her throat breathing for her while she was under anesthetic.

At least she was getting some sleep, in a way. Callie knew Arizona had had trouble sleeping the last few nights prior to her surgery. She almost looked peaceful, like this was really the first time in a long time she’d been relaxed. Too bad it was drug-induced. Callie really needed to get her to sleep more and take better care of herself.

“Dr. Torres, are we ready?” the assisting resident asked when she still had yet to move into action.

Callie’s gaze lingered a moment longer before she finally tore it away. “Ready.”

 

***

 

In a way, it was harder than she’d thought it would be. The procedure was as complicated as she’d expected and she took her time in making sure she got even the smallest details right. Arizona’s leg was truly a Grade A disaster, probably one of the worst Callie had ever seen.

Despite being a fascinating case, she felt sick to her stomach through most of the surgery. She couldn’t get around the fact that Arizona would be in a tremendous amount of pain throughout this entire process. She took a small amount of comfort from knowing that another, lazier surgeon would have likely suggested amputation straight off the bat, or left it like it was. Callie didn’t work that way. Her job was to help the people that came to her to the best of her abilities, not take the easy way out.

Dr. Chang checked in once in a while to study their V.I.P. patient’s progress, but for the most part left Dr. Torres to her devices. It was no secret to anyone in the department that Callie basically ran it herself, minus the pay grade.

The hardest part was actually breaking the healing bones along their main fracture points without causing extra damage. Even though she knew Arizona couldn’t feel anything right now, she wasn’t just some other patient. Callie got invested in all of her cases, but Arizona’s in particular spoke to her on some level that went beyond the rest of them.

She didn’t let herself go there right now. Her focus had to be on helping this woman as a patient and nothing else. Personal feelings, no matter how innocently intended, could only cloud her judgment. She needed to stick with the plan.

So instead of worrying over how much further pain she was causing someone who had already been through hell and back, Callie focused on how amazing it would be to see Arizona Robbins walking through the halls of Seattle Grace on her own in six months time.

That was the goal she placed in her head while inserting a specially designed titanium rod through the trauma surgeon’s bone and screwing it in place.

Arizona was going to walk again, Callie would make sure of it.

 

***

 

Later that evening, she found herself staring up at the monitor above the patient’s bed, listening to the slow, steady beat of a healthy heart. She was still in her scrubs and scrub cap as she sat quietly in the dark recovery room, waiting for those familiar blue eyes to flutter open.

Callie always kept her promises.

She sighed tiredly and popped her neck. The grueling surgery had left her feeling completely drained but at least it was successful. She had managed to reset the bones, secure everything in place and attach what needed to be re-attached, all without damaging the surrounding tissue more than absolutely necessary.

One down, two to go.

The quiet form on the bed shifted and a faint moan sounded from beneath the oxygen mask situated over her face. Callie looked down with a gentle smile. “Hey there.”

Coming out from under anesthesia was unpleasant and disorienting. Arizona was still completely loopy, and for a moment she was back in Iraq, lying in the sand, the air full of smoke and screams. The beeping of her heart monitor echoed a thousand times louder in her ears than it should have.

Despite the sluggishness weighing down her entire body, her leg felt like it was on fire the second she pulled a heavy breath into her lungs and attempted to move. Jerking in place, Arizona tried to swipe the oxygen mask off of her face, convinced something was trying to smother her. Her coordination was completely off and she nearly gave herself a black eye in the process.

Callie stood and quickly reached down to stop her. “Hey, hey, take it easy. You're okay,” she assured the other woman as she gently pushed her hand away and corrected the mask. “You're in a hospital and you're safe. You just came out of surgery and you’re fine. Everything is fine. Just take it slow.”

Arizona's brow furrowed and she groaned when she felt another wave of pain shoot through her body.

Callie winced at the noticeable shiver. “I just administered your Levorphanol. You should feel it kick in soon.”

Arizona blinked a few times, slowly wrapping her head around the situation at hand. She was still a little foggy, though the cobwebs slowly started to clear as the anesthesia began to wear off. The pain was definitely the first and foremost thing she noticed. It was kind of hard to ignore.

Callie waited patiently for Arizona to slowly regain her bearings, holding her hand and absently stroking her thumb along the back of her knuckles.

Arizona focused as best she could on the woman hovering nearby. She reached up again, slower this time, moving the mask to the side and pulling in a shallow breath. “H-how...?” She swallowed back against the sandpaper in her throat with a grimace. “How...?”

Callie smiled reassuringly. “It went great. A total success.” She glanced down to the large, heavy cast covering Arizona's lower right leg. “We'll have to wait a few weeks for it to heal enough before I can go in again, but the first operation was a definitely good start.”

Arizona smiled the best she could in her weakened state. The drugs were slowly numbing the pain as they began to kick in.

“You just rest now,” Callie added softly. “I'll see you again in a few hours.” She knew it would probably be more like eight to ten, since Arizona would undoubtedly be out for most of the night.

“Going…a-already?” The voice was weak, though Arizona managed a ghost of a smile. “Just gonna...cut me open and...and run, huh?” She wheezed out a short, pathetic laugh, grimaced in discomfort, then groaned in displeasure.

This sucked.

She didn’t fight it this time when Callie placed the oxygen mask back over her face. The drugs were starting to kick in, like a warm wave of bliss as it washed over her body, numbing pretty much everything. All she wanted to do was sleep for the next six months.

Before Callie could pull away entirely, Arizona reached up to grab her hand. Her grip was weak and the ortho surgeon made no effort to slip free. “Thank you,” she murmured softly from behind the mask, eyelids starting to droop.

Callie felt a tug in her chest. She hadn't felt that kind of tug since...well, she couldn't remember when. Long before Erica.

“You're welcome,” she whispered in return as Arizona drifted back into unconsciousness.

 

***

 

Callie was twirling the dial on her locker, feeling as though she was about to fall asleep on her feet, when Mark Sloan entered the residents’ locker room and released a cheerful whistle.

“What’re you doing in here?” she asked with a raised brow, yanking open the metal half-door that housed her personal effects.

Mark just stopped and watched her, crossing his arms over his chest with a wide grin plastered on his face.

Callie stared at him. “Okay, weirdo.” She turned back to the locker and froze.

There was a small stack of navy blue scrubs sitting on the top shelf, along with a perfectly folded white envelope.

Callie stared for a long, tense moment, then reached in and tore it open with renewed vigor. She suddenly felt very, _very_ awake.

Mark watched while a grin slowly made its way across her face. “Congratulations, Torres, you’re all grown up now,” he teased. “Seems like Dr. Chang is opting to retire a few months early. Orthopedic surgery now has a shiny new attending.”

Callie squealed, turned on a dime, and leapt into Mark’s arms, sending them both crashing back into the row of lockers on the other side.

Mark laughed and circled her in a bear hug. “How hard would you hit me if I kissed you in congratulations right now?”

Callie grinned and leaned in to plant a big, wet kiss square on his lips. She pulled back with another excited squeal, then proceeded to do the happy dance.

“You squeal a lot when you're happy, huh?” Mark mused. “Guess I shoulda asked Hahn if it applied to more than just your work.”

“Ugh,” Callie groaned, rolling her eyes and smacking Mark in the chest. “Don’t be a pig. I’m happy, I don’t want to get cranky.” Her eyes fell back to the official letter announcing her promotion, skimming it over once more to make sure she hadn’t missed anything. “This is so awesome. I really didn’t wanna have to move to Portland.”

“Me neither,” Mark added with emphasis. “Portland sucks.” He reached up to ruffle her hair, earning himself another playful punch to the gut. “What do you say we go get you a locker at the big kids’ table?”

Callie looked up and grinned lopsidedly. “Do I get one of those cool little keychain thingies now, too?”

Mark laughed and slid an arm around her shoulder, leading her from the room. “You can even pick the colour.”

 

***

 

 _February 27th, 2009_

 

“I don't like jello.”

The nurse released an impatient sigh. “It's part of the lunch prescribed by Dr. Torres.”

Arizona narrowed her eyes, arms crossed defiantly over her chest. “Since when do doctors ‘prescribe’ jello?” she shot back.

“Since it’s your first solid meal two days after major surgery,” the senior staff member pointed out.

Arizona recoiled when the woman thrust a cup of yucky green substance in her face. “No. Jello does not constitute a solid food, or any other kind of food for that matter. Forget it.”

The nurse sighed in frustration. “Please, I'm just trying to do my job.”

Arizona remained bitter and defiant. It was one of her most ‘endearing’ traits, her mother always said.

“It's okay, Ann,” Callie cut in as she suddenly appeared in the doorway. “You can go, I'll take it from here.”

Ann placed the jello cup back onto the tray and stood up. “Thank God. She’s all yours.”

Arizona sulked after her as the older woman quickly left the room.

Callie stepped inside and closed the door behind her. “Barely out of surgery and already being a bully to my favorite nurse? I thought we had a deal, Dr. Robbins.”

Arizona shrugged. “She was trying to feed me jello. Jello isn’t food.”

She perked up a little at the paper bag in Callie’s hand, through which the most wonderful smell of a cheeseburger was beginning to waft. “Oh god, _please_ tell me you brought extras,” she groaned. “I haven’t had a good old American cheeseburger in fourteen months, and I am _starving_.”

“Nope,” Callie smirked, pulling a chair up next to the bed. “You get jello because I highly doubt your stomach could handle much else right now. I, on the other hand, get to enjoy this delicious bacon double cheeseburger, right here while you watch.”

Arizona eyed the food Callie pulled from the bag longingly. “That’s just mean.” She glanced at the cup of jello once more and her shoulders sagged.

Callie smiled. “The sooner you suck that down, the sooner you'll get better and the sooner you can have some of this.” She bit into the cheeseburger, closing her eyes and emitting a long, satisfied moan.

Arizona absolutely glowered. “ _Mean_.”

Callie smiled as she opened her eyes and reached for her milkshake. “Serves you right for being such a bully.”

“I am not a bully!”

“Are too,” Callie said easily, taking a sip and cocking an eyebrow.

“Am no– ugh, fine.” Arizona grumbled under her breath and reached for the cup of jello. She eyeballed it as though it were from another planet, poking it with a spoon. Very begrudgingly, she scooped out a tiny amount and lifted it to hover at mouth-level. She shot another glare at Callie, who just smirked back at her with a superior look on her face, as though she was thoroughly enjoying this moment.

Rolling her eyes, Arizona shoved the spoon into her mouth and grimaced, swallowing the gooey substance as fast as she could while making a face. “Yuck. _Bleh._ There. Happy?”

Callie grinned. “Tremendously.” She took another big bite of burger.

Arizona pouted and stuck her spoon back into the jello cup. She ate quietly, looking all sad and dejected and lonely.

“Oh come on,” Callie said after a moment. “That's not...that's cheating.”

Arizona smiled a little but didn't lift her eyes from the cup in her hand. Her brooding only deepened, trying to work it to her advantage.

Callie finally rolled her eyes and pushed up to her feet, stepping over to extend the burger towards the blonde. “ _One_ bite. But if you get sick, you're laying in it, ‘cause I am _not_ cleaning it up.”

Arizona jumped on the chance and reached up to grab the cheeseburger. Her fingers very lightly pressed over top of Callie’s as she pulled it closer and took a decent sized bite.

Both eyes immediately rolled back in her head and she let out a pleasurable moan. “God, that’s good,” she mumbled through a mouthful of ketchup and ground beef, chewing so fast she nearly bit off her tongue. It really had been forever since she’d tasted something so good.

Arizona swallowed the bite and sighed contently. “Thanks, doc,” she teased, shooting a bright, dimpled grin up at the brunette.

“Don't thank me just yet,” Callie warned as she stepped back over to take her seat. “Grease and fat won’t exactly mix well with the high doses of painkillers and antibiotics I've got you on.”

Arizona's euphoric look vanished in an instant.

Callie took a bite of the cheeseburger, smirking. “Bet that lime green jello is lookin’ a lot better now, huh?”

Arizona glanced down at what was left in the cup and wrinkled her nose. “I think I’ll take my chances with the greasy cow burger, thanks.” She finished the last scoop of jello and tossed the spoon and plastic cup into the trash can next to her bed.

“So...” She bit her lip, studying the other woman closely. “I’m stuck here for another three weeks before you can operate again. Got any cool stories of gruesome surgeries to entertain me with? I bet you’ve got cases lined up across the board, being a shiny new attending and all.” Arizona smiled. “Congratulations, by the way. The navy scrubs look good on you.”

Callie couldn’t help but bounce in her seat. “I know.” She still felt pretty giddy inside. She was the new attending of Orthopedic Surgery at Seattle Grace Hospital. She’d worked her butt off to get here and was damn proud of herself.

Arizona rolled her eyes with a soft laugh.

“There is this one case I’m working on,” Callie added after another slurp of her milkshake. “It's kind of a tiny case, literally speaking.”

Arizona reached for the juice box sitting on her tray and took a sip, cradling it between two hands. “Tiny how? Tiny adult person or a child?”

“Two-year-old boy, cutest thing you’ll ever set eyes on,” Callie said with a faint smile. “He was in a car accident with his parents and fractured his femur in three places.”

Arizona frowned. “God, the poor kid.” She took another sip of juice. “Are you treating with spica casting or thinking of an external fixation rod?”

When Callie looked at her in surprise, Arizona merely grinned. “I dabbled in pediatrics a little and dealt with some tiny human ortho cases a time or two. I had this kid with brittle bones disease once, poor thing didn’t end up making it past age four.” She shook her head and set the juice box aside. “I’m sorry, you were saying?”

Callie watched Arizona intently, immediately noticing the sparkle in her eye and the way her spirits subtly seemed to lift as she talked about her work. “You loved it, didn't you?”

Arizona quirked an eyebrow. “What?”

“You act like this big, tough trauma surgeon, but you totally loved the big surgeries on little people. I can see it in your eyes.” Callie smiled brightly. “You loved saving the tiny humans way before you ever went to Iraq.”

Arizona immediately looked away.

Callie's happy moment faltered. “Ah, shit, I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have–”

Arizona brushed a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. “It’s, um...it’s okay. It’s just a little complicated.” She cleared her throat awkwardly and stole a quick glance. “I actually started a fellowship in pediatrics almost three years ago. I finished my residency when I was twenty nine and jumped right into it.” She shrugged. “It was actually kinda fun for a while.”

“What changed?” Callie asked, curious.

Arizona shrugged, looking down and picking at the blanket with her fingertips. “I grew up in a military family. My father is a Colonel with the Marines. I thought about enlisting when I was younger, then decided on med school instead. My brother did, though, from the time he was eighteen.”

She reached beneath the neckline of her hospital gown and pulled out the set of dog tags she kept hanging there on a chain, fiddling with them. “He died in the line of duty three years ago and it changed things for me.” She shrugged and looked back up at Callie, her expression carefully neutral. “So, now I’m a trauma surgeon. Go figure.”

Callie smiled gently, feeling nothing but sympathy for the other woman. “But you can change your mind and your career. Doctors do it all the time.”

Arizona sighed heavily. “I don't even know if I'm ever gonna walk again, much less operate.”

Callie stiffened in her seat, suddenly all attitude. “ _Excuse_ me?”

The blonde looked up sharply.

“Did I just hear you doubting my word and my ability as a rockstar with a magical scalpel? After I just successfully re-broke your leg and fixed it again, like God? Seriously?”

Arizona felt a tiny grin tug at the corners of her mouth. “I would never doubt you,” she said honestly. “You seem more than capable of kicking ass when you set your mind to it. But realistically...I mean, I-I don’t know what’s going to happen, or how this is all going to turn out after everything is said and done. There are too many ‘maybes’ to even think about what I’m gonna do next.”

She glanced down at the tag of her brother’s that hung next to her own. “Working with kids was great, but that was the old me. I don’t even know if the ‘new’ me could handle it, to be honest.” She thought back to who she used to be before Timothy died, before she enlisted. That woman seemed like a total stranger to her now.

“You never know until you try,” Callie added after a moment. “That's a huge part about being a surgeon.” She leaned forward in her chair a little. “You should never say never unless you try, if it’s something you really want in life.”

When Arizona looked away shyly, Callie's smile widened. “I have faith in your ability to do anything you set your mind to. I’ve seen how stubborn you can be. No one tells Dr. Robbins ‘no’ and gets away with it.” Callie paused again. “Except me,” she added after a moment, hoping to earn some kind of laugh.

Arizona finally allowed herself to look up and found herself getting easily lost in those dark brown eyes. They were beautiful; really, really beautiful, and so expressive.

Licking her lips, she smiled weakly. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.” She took in a shaky breath. “For now, I just want to focus on getting through these next few surgeries and the physical rehab that comes after. I think it’ll be a while before I revisit the whole ‘career’ issue again. If worse comes to worse, I’ll open up an ice cream stand in New York or something. And get around on a segway for the rest of my life.”

“Fair enough,” Callie relented, deciding to let the subject drop for now. “But I want you to know that I'm here if you need someone to talk to about that or anything else, okay? Just because your family is in California doesn’t mean you have to go through this alone.”

Arizona nodded in return, feeling her throat involuntarily constrict. “Thanks. I appreciate it.”

Callie went back to her cheeseburger, focusing intently on each bite and giving the blonde a chance to gather herself without being embarrassed.

Eventually Arizona’s focus returned to the other plate sitting on her tray and she poked at the white mound of what was supposed to be mashed potatoes.

They didn’t look like any kind of mashed potatoes that she’d ever seen before.

She made another face. “So, when do I get some real food?”

Callie just chuckled and aimed the remote at the television, turning it on to the sports highlights channel.

Arizona pouted and stabbed woefully at her plate with a fork.


	5. Chapter 5

_March 2nd, 2009_

 

After three days of being forced to eat jello and fake mashed potatoes, Arizona was frustrated and hungry. Her leg hurt like hell but that didn’t mean her stomach wasn’t open for business. She liked food, _real_ food, and when she wasn’t fed properly she got cranky.

Now would be one of those times.  

She hadn’t seen Callie for a day or so, either, and assumed she was off work when a resident came in for the next few post-op exams. She tried not to feel too disappointed, even though that feeling of isolation started creeping in again. She missed the company. More importantly, she missed _Callie’s_ company.  

On the sixth afternoon following her first surgery, Arizona was ready to climb the walls or jump out the window. She was going stir crazy and came oh-so-very-close to losing it completely. There were only so many soap operas she could stand watching in a day before needing to throw the remote at the TV.

“Hey, you.”

Her gaze flickered over to the door and she immediately sighed in relief. “Hey, stranger,” she replied with a smile, so happy to see Callie that it surprised her at first.

Dressed in her street clothes, Callie held up a plastic grocery bag full of what looked like random items. “I brought some goodies. Wanna see?”

“Yes please,” Arizona nodded eagerly. She pushed herself upright in bed and flashed Callie a grin, eyeballing the bag of treats as she entered. “Something in there had better contain chocolate.”

“Demanding much?” Callie chuckled and set it on the edge of the bed. “Let’s see...I have these.” She pulled out a few Capri Sun juice pouches and dumped them onto the sheets. She had to smile when Arizona’s whole face lit up in surprise.

“Oh my god, I _love_ you,” the blonde groaned in appreciation, immediately snagging the strawberry-kiwi flavour. “Seriously, woman. Marry me.”

Callie blinked and arched an eyebrow. “Wow, that’s gotta be some kinda record. Do I need a U-Haul or do you want to just live with me?”

“I think I might be stuck here for a while,” Arizona mused, jabbing a straw into the juice pouch and sucking away eagerly. She absolutely loved these things and didn’t realize just how much she wanted one until right this very moment. Callie was officially a genius.

“Good thing I brought multiple, you’re gonna finish them all before I even get to the best part,” the brunette laughed. She reached into the bag again, shuffling things around before producing an old Polaroid photo. Already blushing, she hesitated before handing it over. “This is...well, I thought you might find it amusing.”

Arizona took the picture and immediately broke out into a huge grin. “Oh my God, you were such a cute kid!”

A six-year-old Calliope Torres stood proudly next to a full-sized puppet theater from _The Sound of Music_. Anyone who looked at this image would be able to see just how proud she was of her favourite toy. The big grin on the young Callie’s face was adorable.

As soon as she realized what the brunette was standing next to, however, Arizona’s jaw fell open, straw still in her mouth. “Holy crap. You really weren’t kidding, were you? That’s...it’s...”

“An exact replica,” Callie finished, nodding.

“Wow. And here I was thinking that you had the deluxe Toys R Us version.”

“My dad didn’t do Toys R Us,” Callie mumbled awkwardly. She didn’t particularly want to get into the ‘I’m rich’ conversation. She hated it and thought it was a dumb conversation to have in the first place.

“It’s awesome, Calliope. And you really were super cute back then.” Arizona smiled brightly up at her surgeon. “Still are.”

Callie blushed again and hurriedly dug through the bag some more. She pulled out a special edition DVD of _The Sound of Music_ next.

Oh yes, bonus points were headed her way for sure.

She watched as Arizona’s whole face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. While she’d been nervous about bringing everything in before, she was now positive it was the world’s greatest idea ever.

“You didn’t!”

“I did,” Callie teased. “A promise is a promise, right?”

She vowed to try everything in her power from now on to get that kind of a response from Arizona. Seeing her grin like this made her heart constrict into a gooey mess, despite her best efforts to remain cool and unaffected. The blonde’s dimples were irresistible and they were on full display at the moment.

Grabbing the DVD, Arizona actually giggled as she tore off the plastic wrapping. She hadn’t been this excited in ages. “I can’t believe you went out and bought it. That’s amazing. I haven’t seen it in years.”

She flipped the cover over to read the back, then glanced up at the TV with a frown, her shoulders slumping in realization. “Crap. There’s no DVD player.”

Callie grinned again and shrugged off her shoulder bag, setting it down on the side chair so she could root around inside. Moments later she produced a laptop and gave it a little wave in Arizona’s direction. “You don’t even have to say it. I’m a genius, I know.”

Arizona laughed, a move which immediately sent a jolt of pain through her side. She groaned and pressed a hand over the wounded area, though it did nothing to ruin her elation. “A modest genius with an ego the size of Mount Everest.”

“Damn straight,” Callie agreed. She opened the Macbook and placed it on the bedside tray, pushing it forward so it was at an angle they could both see.

She immediately regretted the action the second her desktop wallpaper blinked to life. She and her sister Aria were on the beach somewhere in Florida, wearing bikinis and acting like total morons.

Callie froze and the colour drained from her face.

Arizona lunged forward and grabbed the laptop before the other woman could yank it away. “No-no! Keep it,” she begged, holding it out of reach. “Not to come off sounding creepy, but you have a very, very nice-”

“Arizona!” Callie went from pale to beet red in an instant.

“I was going to say a nice _tan_ , you perv.” Arizona’s grin was priceless. She really did kind of like looking at that photo – Callie had a gorgeous body.

She meant that in a complete respectful way, of course.

Grumbling under her breath, Callie avoided all eye contact and dug around for more stuff in the plastic bag. She tossed Arizona a box of DOTS with a scoff. “Here. It’s not chocolate but I freaking loved these things as a kid. I didn’t even know they made them anymore.”

Arizona caught it with ease, pouting. She wasn’t a gummy candy person, but she wasn’t about to turn down Callie’s cute offer. She also needed something to satisfy her sweet tooth, which had been bugging her for weeks now.

“If I bribe you with money and also the fact that you get to do some really cool surgeries on me, will you pick up a Kit Kat sometime? Pretty, pretty please, Dr. Torres?” She batted her eyelashes to make the most of it.

Callie shrugged. “Are you saying that my candy isn’t good enough for you?”

“I like your candy,” Arizona replied smoothly. “Your candy is good. You have awesome candy.” Her eyes shifted to the desktop. “Really pretty candy.”

Callie let that one slide for now. It was her own fault for forgetting to change the desktop wallpaper.

“C’mon, pull up a chair,” Arizona urged. “Since you’re not dressed to play doctor, I’m assuming you don’t have to rush off to surgery this time?”

“Nope, I’m free for a while.” Callie glanced into the bag. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

Arizona frowned thoughtfully. It made her forehead do this cute little scrunchy thing that Callie immediately adored.

“Um...”

“You’re too easy, Robbins. I thought you were gonna hold out on me if I didn’t bring popcorn?”

“Oh!” Arizona’s eyes lit up again. “Duh, right. I knew that.” She twisted around to peer into the bag, causing a sharp, painful twinge in her abdomen at the sudden movement. She grunted involuntarily and pressed a hand to her side.

“Easy,” Callie chastised, placing a hand on Arizona’s shoulder to steady her. “Just sit back and relax. I’ll go pop our snack in the lounge microwave and then come back.”

She turned and headed for the door, stopping partway across the room when hit with a thought. “And _don’t_ spend your time ogling my desktop.”

Arizona blinked innocently and said nothing.

Callie pointed two fingers at her own eyes, then jabbed them in Arizona’s direction before heading out the door.

The second Callie left the room, the blonde grabbed the computer and smirked at the photo.

Oh yes. Dr. Torres was hot, all right. Any blind, deaf or dead idiot could see that.

“Dr. Robbins!”

She snapped the computer shut and set it back on the tray, looking guilty as Callie eyed her from around the door frame.

Callie hovered for a moment longer before heading off to ready their snack.

***

Arizona reclined back, eyes fixed on the fifteen-inch screen in front of her. She was all too aware of Callie’s close proximity, sitting in the chair next to her bed, leaning in to get a better view of the movie. She had to resist the urge to play with the woman’s hair as her head rested comfortably on the edge of the pillow. She liked the company and was grateful that Callie cared enough to put in the effort. Her spirits needed the boost more than she’d realized.

“Ooh, puppets,” Arizona suddenly spoke up, nudging her companion in the shoulder. “I think I want to see your version instead.”

Callie looked over with a sheepish grin. “Mine is definitely better.”

As the movie continued, the ‘Lonely Goatherd’ – Callie's favorite part – came on and she listened to Arizona hum along. And when Maria and the Captain sang ‘Something Good’, she snuck another glance, absolutely loving how the smartass Marine that had initially given her so much trouble sighed in contentment like a total girl.

Fighting a smile, Callie nudged her in the arm. "Romantic, huh?" she teased. Arizona blushed but didn’t say anything.

By the time the credits rolled and the Von Trapps walked over the Swiss Alps, both women were all but cuddled up next to each other on the pillow. It wasn’t until the DVD went back to the main menu that they both seemed to snap out of their trance at the same time.

Callie stretched back in the chair and eased her sore muscles with a groan, doing her best not to act as jittery as she felt on the inside. Leaning sideways into the hospital bed for hours wasn’t exactly comfortable, even though the company made it well worth her while.

Arizona gave a happy little sigh, then grimaced when Callie flicked the lights back on with the bedside switch. “That was awesome.” She stretched as well, careful to avoid causing any more pain in her abdomen, and flopped back tiredly against the bed.

The pillow smelled like Calliope Torres. She resisted the urge to bury her nose in it. Turning instead, she glanced up with a warm smile. “Thank you. This was nice. Really, really nice.”

“You’re welcome,” Callie said, biting her lip nervously. “We should do it more often. It’s kind of nice just relaxing and hanging out with someone remotely normal for once.”

“Agreed,” Arizona chuckled. “Even if you’re busy being all, y’know, surgical and God-like, I wouldn’t mind if you stopped by with food and movies more often. I promise not to be too much of a pain in your ass.”

“I think we can work that out,” Callie agreed.

Arizona snuggled down into the bed, getting comfy once more. This was really the first time since her surgery that she hadn’t felt like trying to escape or clawing her eyes out from cabin fever. “Good. Then we have plans, henceforth and whatnot. Try not to get paged into any surgeries around lunch time.”

"I'll do my best," Callie said as she finished putting her laptop away and cleaned up the garbage they had scattered around the area. For a three hour movie, they’d consumed a lot of crap, something she wasn’t sure she should have let Arizona do. Callie hoped it wouldn’t make her sick.

“I should, um...” She hesitated, not really wanting to go yet but at the same time realizing Arizona was tired. “I should head out. You need some rest and I have other errands to run. It’s my only day off this week, which means laundry and groceries.”

Arizona lifted her head from the pillow in surprise. “You came in on your day off?” she asked quietly.

Callie blushed and refused to make eye contact. “I’ll check in on you in the morning, see how you’re feeling,” she hurried on, avoiding the question. “Maybe bring you a movie or two. I’m sure I can dig out my portable player at home and leave it here.”

Arizona smiled, murmuring a soft “thanks.” She watched Callie hover kind of awkwardly beside the bed and wasn’t sure why she suddenly seemed so nervous. “So, tomorrow then?”

Callie nodded. “Tomorrow.” She risked one more quick glance, catching those amazingly bright eyes again.

They were _so_ blue.

She couldn’t stay, for either of their sakes. “Get some sleep,” she instructed, giving a little wave before heading for the door.

“Bye,” Arizona called softly, watching her go. She waited until Callie was out of sight before dropping her head back against the pillow.

It didn’t take long for the silence of the room to become almost crushing.

***

 _March 13th, 2009_

 

“Are you sure you're up for this?” Callie asked ten days later, strolling along while pushing Arizona in a standard issue wheelchair. She had on her dark blue scrubs with a long black shirt underneath and white lab coat over top. Both sleeves were pushed up – her signature style.

Arizona glanced over her shoulder, hands resting on the blanket covering her lap. “So ready, you have no idea.”

Callie smiled a little as she headed for the large set of double doors leading out into the courtyard. She glanced down at the casted leg propped up on an elevated foot rest. “Is one pillow enough? Are you comfy?”

“Very,” Arizona replied smoothly, fidgeting in her seat. “I haven’t had fresh air in over two weeks, I’m _dying_ to get outside and see the sun.”

Callie frowned. “Well, it’s March, so I wouldn’t expect more than some cold wind and probably a lot of rain.”

“When you’ve spent eight months in the desert followed by three more in the confines of two different hospitals, you learn not to take the rain for granted,” Arizona pointed out. “I just want the fresh air. I was ready to scale the walls of that room if I didn’t get out of there soon. And hey, at least this time I asked your permission first. That shows personal growth, right?”

Callie laughed as the doors slid open and she pushed the blonde outside.

Arizona closed her eyes the second she felt cool spring air wash over her face, breathing in the scent of moisture and fresh leaves. “God, that's good.”

Callie wheeled her over to the closest bench and parked next to it, making sure to lock the brakes before taking a seat. She pulled her lab coat a little tighter around her body. It wasn't raining but it was definitely an overcast and chilly afternoon in Seattle. She made a mental note not to keep Arizona out for too long; she’d lost a fair amount of weight since her injuries and was prone to getting cold.

Arizona kept her eyes closed and tilted her head toward the sky. She was silent for a while, taking in slow, deep breaths of refreshing air. It felt like heaven. It was rejuvenating. Something she desperately needed.

After a while she spoke. “There was this one time when I was in Iraq, when it literally hadn’t rained for months. The locals were seeing some of the worst drought in twenty years, coupled with temperatures in the one-hundred-and-ten degree region consistently. It was just unbearable.”

Callie crossed her legs and leaned back into the bench, listening intently.

“One day the skies opened up and poured rain for forty-five minutes straight. It was like the storm came out of nowhere. People were out on the streets, eager to just take in some relief from the heat. It was amazing; one of the few times I remember being able to relax, even if it was just for a few minutes.”

Arizona opened her eyes again and looked over at Callie with a soft smile. “I don’t think I’ll ever take the rain for granted after that. Seattle isn’t so bad.”

Callie matched the blonde’s smile, studying her closely. This was the first time she had heard her mention anything about Iraq and she didn’t want to interrupt for fear of having her close up again.

“Do you ever think about going back?” she asked after a beat of silence passed.

Arizona laughed, answering with a shrug. “I have no idea. I guess it depends on everything that happens from here on out.”

“Don’t you find it...” Callie hesitated, not wanting to offend her, yet too curious not to ask. “Don’t you find this whole ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ thing infuriating, though? I mean, if you’re...y’know...you can’t ever been in an open, public relationship without the fear of being canned.”

Arizona smiled ruefully. “Infuriating, disgusting. I find DADT a lot of unpleasant adjectives.” She shrugged again. “It is what it is. People have turned a blind eye for years, the few that know me really well. The others don’t care enough to ‘turn me in’ or whatever. It’s never been a problem, and I haven’t had a serious relationship for quite some time. It’s a little hard when I’m gone for most of the year.”

Callie laughed quietly. “Yeah, I guess.” She hadn’t exactly been fishing, but it certainly didn’t hurt to know Arizona wasn’t involved with anyone.

Except that she was still a patient, Callie once again had to remind herself. She wasn’t allowed to be thinking like that.

They had, without a doubt, become friends over the last few weeks. Ever since watching _The Sound of Music_ together, she often found herself eating lunch in Arizona’s room and the two of them would sit through whatever lame movie was on television that day. If all else failed, they’d mock the people sad enough to appear on _Jerry Springer_ , often coming up with their own back stories and creating their own monologue by putting the TV on mute.

She had to admit it was nice. Arizona was easy to talk to now that she’d stopped testing her patience. Who knew _The Sound of Music_ could be such a powerful bonding tool?

Arizona was still stubborn as hell and rarely listened to what anyone other than Callie told her, but at least she’d stopped running away and chasing the nurses off. Her stubborn streak was actually one of the things Callie found most endearing, even if it meant they butted heads sometimes.

“Do you feel ready for next week?” She leaned forward and resting her forearms on her knees, tilting her head as she studied Arizona’s solemn expression. “I know you’ve just started to get your energy back and the last thing you probably want is for me to cut you open again.”

“No, it’s not that,” Arizona interjected, sending Callie a quick and reassuring smile. “I know what I got myself into when I first came to see you. I’m in for a long and painful recovery, I get that. And I’m still grateful, believe me.”

Callie continued to watch her patiently, knowing there was more. “But?”

Arizona sighed and rubbed two fingers along the bridge of her forehead. “I don’t know. I guess it’s just starting to get to me. Being stuck in a room all day for weeks on end, not being able to move a whole lot, spending most of my time on my own. It’s frustrating.”

“Is there anyone nearby that I can call for you?” Callie was hoping for a yes; she knew Arizona needed some company right now.

The woman shook her head, however. “No, that’s okay. There’s no one.” She mustered up a brave smile for the brunette. “Really, I’m fine. As long as you keep taking pity on me and bringing case files and food from outside these walls, I’ll survive.” She winked despite the lull in her mood.

Callie grinned and gave a firm nod. “I promise to keep it up, then.” She stood and moved around the back of Arizona’s wheelchair. “Ready to go back in?”

Arizona stuck out her lower lip in a cute little pout. “Do we have to? Can’t we just do a lap around the building or something? You can point out various landmarks and stuff I should get to know if I’m going to be spending some time in the city. At least help me figure out which way is which.”

“Look for the water and that would be west,” Callie teased, unlocking the brakes and wheeling Arizona along. “As for a tour of Seattle from the sidewalk, I can do you one better as long as you promise not to tattle on me.”

Arizona looked curious. “My lips are sealed. What’s your evil master plan?”

Callie eyes glinted mischievously as she headed for the doors. “Ever seen the view from the heli-pad on the roof?”

***

“Chief?”

Dr. Webber looked up from his desk, phone pressed to his ear, and waved Callie into the office. “I told you I sent the request forms through last week and you’re telling me you still haven’t received them?” he barked into the device.

Callie hesitated before eventually moving into the office and closing the door behind her. She hovered awkwardly while Chief Webber shouted a few more unpleasant things at the person on the other end of the line before slamming it back down on the receiver.

She blinked at him with wide eyes. “Um. I can come back if–”

“No, no, sit down,” Webber waved it off, leaning back in his chair as she approached. “Bureaucrats. Can’t win these days.” He shook his head. “What can I do for you, Torres?”

“It’s about Arizona, actually. Er, Dr. Robbins, sir.”

Webber frowned. “Is everything okay? The last report you gave me said she was still waiting for her second surgery.”

“Oh yeah, everything is going great so far. We’ve still got our work cut out for us, but she’s a trooper.” Callie glanced down at her lap and bit back a smile, thinking about earlier. “I actually wanted to ask you about her family.”

Needing to do something with her hands, she reached out to grab Dr. Webber’s letter opener and started tapping it against her other palm. “She’s lonely. I’ve been spending some extra time with her but I think she’s a little bit depressed. I was actually wondering about her parents? I know you said her dad is in the military too. Is he still in the States? What about her mom? Or friends?”

Webber looked thoughtful as Callie continued.

“I don’t know who, just _somebody_. She’s being stubborn and refuses to give me any names to call for her, even though I can tell she’s having a hard time being by herself. I was wondering if maybe you could get a hold of her parents, at least.”

Richard leaned back as he thought about it. “I believe her father is retired from active duty, he’s in his late sixties. He called me from San Diego where he’s based; I can certainly call back and see what he says.”

Callie smiled. “Thanks, Chief. I don’t want to go over her head, she’s just too stubborn for her own good.” Even after a good twenty or thirty minutes goofing off while showing Arizona the view of Seattle from the roof, she still hadn’t been able to get any additional information from the woman. Arizona really left her no other choice than to bring Webber into this.

She nodded at her boss and exchanged goodbyes before leaving him to his phone calls.

Richard watched her go before reaching for the receiver.

***

 _March 17th, 2009_

 

Over the next four days, Callie witnessed a change in the blonde. She became quieter, more withdrawn, less likely to grin at her when she walked through the door. She even stopped begging to be wheeled around the hospital. It was troublesome.

Callie had an enormous amount of work dumped on her plate around the same time and she missed out on a few of their standing lunch dates. She tried her best to check in but sometimes Arizona was sleeping – or pretending to – and sometimes Callie got paged away before they could do much more than say ‘hello’.

She was worried, more so than with any of her other patients. She hadn’t spoken to the Chief about Arizona’s family since their last conversation and she was hoping at some point someone would stop her in the hallway and ask what room Arizona Robbins was in. The blonde needed some company and Callie just couldn’t figure out why her parents weren’t here supporting her.

Callie knew without a doubt that if she were in the hospital, her mother and father would be by her side 24/7, making sure she had all of her needs taken care of. Callie herself would bitch, whine and complain about it, but deep down she would be happy they were around. She couldn’t understand why Arizona’s parents weren’t doing the same.

After a particularly busy afternoon full of idiotic drivers and several sports injuries, she had a moment to drop by Arizona’s room. She bought a can of Coke Zero and a bag of M&Ms from the vending machines as an offering, hoping that maybe even the smallest amount chocolate and caffeine would bring back the smile she’d missed seeing as of late.

She found Arizona idly flipping through television stations, staring blankly at the tiny screen and clearly not seeing anything on it. Her eyes had a dull, far-off look in them and she didn’t so much as twitch when Callie entered the room.

“Hey.” Offering her brightest smile, Callie held up the sugar-free soda and candy package. “Technically as your doctor, I have to tell you not to eat these. However, if I accidentally leave them within your reach and they go missing, I won’t say a thing.” She set them on the side table and pulled up a chair.

Arizona finally turned her head to face Callie and forced out a weak smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Thanks.”

Callie frowned, watching her closely. She considered her words carefully, unsure exactly what she should say here. “Arizona, I’m worried.”

The blonde chuckled and shifted in place. “Yeah, I’m worried about the state of the human race, too. This guy is a total moron.” She pointed the remote at the TV. “He married his sister without knowing it because their dad had like thirteen affairs and nine different children.”

Callie glanced at the TV, not recognizing which talk show Arizona was invested in this time. She made a mental note to rent the first few seasons of _Dexter_ or something to keep her occupied with something less likely to melt brain cells.

“Okay, here.” She reached out and stole the remote, clicking off the device. When Arizona didn’t so much as pout or protest, Callie knew she must’ve been having a really bad day. “What do you say I grab a wheelchair and we go outside, hm? It’s a really nice day.”

A clap of thunder rumbled outside the open window.

Callie sighed, mentally cursing Mother Nature for her crappy timing. “Or I could take you down to the cafeteria to grab something that’s a little healthier than coke and M&Ms, and we can spy on the nerdy interns and whatever drama they’re involved in this week.”

Arizona shook her head, staring listlessly at the opposite wall. “I’m kinda...I don’t really feel like getting out of bed today. Sorry. Rain check?”

Callie sighed. “Arizona–”

“I want you to take it all out.” Arizona abruptly pushed herself upright and turned to level Callie with a completely serious stare. The sudden intensity in her eyes was surprising, given the listlessness there moments before.

“What?”

“When you go in two days from now to give me a knee replacement, I want you to remove the damaged muscle tissue in my calf now instead of later. I don’t want an extra surgery if it can be crammed into one.”

Callie frowned as she thought about it. “A knee replacement is a pretty big deal as it is. You’re already going to be really uncomfortable. Adding the remaining fragment removal and subsequent muscle scaling on top of it would only make the recovery worse. I’m not sure you know what you’re signing yourself up for.”

“Of course I know,” Arizona argued. “But I can’t stand being here one minute longer, okay? I-I don’t want another surgery, and then another one after that. Fit two of them together if you can, then I can get out of here. I can’t lie here for another three weeks, heal even just a little, then get cut open again. I can’t!”

Callie held up both hands. “Whoa, okay, I’ll think about it. Okay? I’ll go over everything and see what I can do. But either way, you’re not leaving the hospital any time soon. It sucks, and I’m _so_ sorry you’re stuck here, but we agreed when we started this. You were gonna stick it out and fight with me.”

Arizona sighed and stared down at the bed, looking strained. “I know. But even if it makes the pain worse for a while, it’s worth it just to get it over with. I can handle it.” Blue eyes flickered back up to meet brown. “Please, Calliope. Just think about it?”

Callie squirmed in her chair, not seeing any way around it. Arizona was determined and that always meant there was no changing her mind.

Finally, after a long pause, she nodded once. “Okay. I’ll _think_ about it and I’ll let you know.”

Arizona genuinely smiled for the first time since Callie had walked into the room, reaching for the remote back after a beat of silence. “I think there’s a Shark Week repeat on that you missed while you were in surgery yesterday. Up for it?”

Callie sighed in defeat and nodded once, leaning back in her chair. She reached over to rip open the bag of M&Ms. “Shark Week it is.”


	6. Chapter 6

_March 18th, 2009_

 

Callie was having a great day. One of those days where nothing anyone said or did could taint it. One of those days where she walked around feeling as though she was awesome, she was the best, and she was completely high on life.

Yes, it was _that_ good.

There was an extra skip in her step as she strolled the hallways of Seattle Grace. She smiled at the patients and residents, even high-fived one of her favourite nurses after her fifth, count it, _fifth_ successful surgery of the day. She was on fire, she was a freakin’ attending, and she was finally getting the respect she deserved from her peers.

More than anything, she’d been looking forward to her ‘lunch and a cheesy movie’ date with Arizona all day. She wanted to tell her how hardcore she was in the OR, wanted to explain in detail what she’d done and how she’d rocked it, and she was admittedly more a little excited to see those sexy dimples to make an appearance. Arizona’s brilliant smile would be the icing on her Happy Day cake.

She’d even decided to splurge and buy them both burgers with milkshakes on the side. After all, it would be Arizona’s last decent meal for a few days and she deserved something yummy.

Callie grasped the bag of food in her left hand and the tray of shakes in her right, taking the stairs two at a time to get there quicker. She arrived outside Arizona’s room with a big, goofy grin on her face, peering through the window first to make sure the blonde hadn’t dozed off. What she saw made her heart drop into her stomach, her smile fade, and the giddy feeling that had been building all day vanish in a matter of seconds.

Arizona had a visitor. A hot, blonde, military-clad visitor. And she was hugging her – closely. _Too_ closely.

It was the one thing Callie had secretly been worried about when she’d gone on this little side quest to get Arizona some visitors. That some long-lost gorgeous girlfriend would show up out of nowhere and sweep her off her feet.

Her brilliant plan appeared to be backfiring.

Inside the room, Arizona held on tightly to the woman hunched over her bed. “I had no idea you were even back,” she whispered hoarsely, eyes squeezed tightly shut to hold off an embarrassing display of waterworks.

She hadn’t been prepared for the rush of emotion she felt upon seeing a familiar face again. She hadn’t been expecting to see anyone in the first place, let alone Teddy Altman.

Arizona finally released her hold on the other blonde and sat back, eyeing her incredulously. “What are you even doing here, Teddy?”

“I heard you were stuck in the hospital while they tried to build you a new leg,” Teddy replied, settling comfortably on the edge of the bed. “Promised I’d give you hell for sitting on your ass while we did all the work.”

Arizona snorted. “Yeah, right. You’re full of it, Altman. Why are you really here?”

Teddy’s smile faded a little. “Our unit was hit again.”

Arizona’s momentary elation dissipated and she closed her eyes.

“They decided that we’d lost too many members of the team and replaced us. I got shipped back last week and now I get to look at your goofy face as a result. Not a bad trade.” Teddy reached down to take Arizona’s hand and squeezed it tightly.

Despite the rock sitting in the pit of her stomach at the knowledge that they’d lost more people, Arizona found herself laughing. “Why Seattle of all places? Don’t you have a life or something back in D.C.?”

“I needed a break. Plus, I miss the rain.” Teddy paused. “And I was worried about you. Your father called me.”

Arizona immediately looked away and glared hard at her lap. Her expression melted into careful neutrality, though her eyes remained cold. “He did, did he? So what? You’re supposed to check up on me and report back to the Colonel?”

Teddy shot Arizona a look. “Not in the least. Stop being an idiot.” She squeezed her hand again. “He let me know where you were and I caught the first flight out because I wanted to.”

Arizona was still bitter at the fact her father had called Teddy instead of her but she wasn’t particularly surprised, either. It’s not like they spoke much. Their last conversation involved him yelling in her face, demanding that she get her act together and fly out to Seattle for this surgery ‘or else’.

“So, what did the Colonel give as his excuse for not staying in touch this time? Correspondence dinner? Training exercises to oversee? Did he–” she gasped in mock surprise, “–have to meet with the President?”

“Hey, it’s not like you made the effort to call him, either,” Teddy pointed out. She quickly held up her other hand in defense of the onslaught of shit she knew Arizona was undoubtedly about to throw her way. Instead, the patient just scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“Anyway, who cares?” Teddy said. “He still made sure you were safe by dialing my number. And hell, it gives me something to do, so stop with the cranky. It’s annoying.”

Arizona smirked and shook her head. “Yeah, yeah. You’d be cranky too if you only had three limbs.”

Teddy hurried on to change the subject before Arizona could get lost in her own head. “So, any hot nurses around this joint? I remember how much you liked the nurses during residency.”

Callie had had enough. Her jealousy was soaring and she did _not_ want to hear about any of the nurses that might have been a part of the blonde’s past. She walked through the open the doorway and cleared her throat to announce her presence.

Arizona looked up, a tiny smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. It faded just as quickly when she caught sight of the brunette’s expression.

“Calliope, hey,” she called out in what she hoped was a cheery, not-at-all nervous tone. “I was starting to think you were skipping out on our lunch date again.”

Teddy looked from the new arrival back down to Arizona. ‘Date?’ she mouthed silently, earning herself a quick glare from the bed-ridden patient.

“Dr. Callie Torres, this is Dr. Teddy Altman. Altman, this is Dr. Torres, the surgeon who’s putting me back together again with her bare hands.” Arizona smiled at Callie, hoping to ease some of the mounting tension behind that icy glare of hers. It was unnerving, to say the least.

Callie carefully stepped forward into the room, setting the bag of burgers and tray of milkshakes aside for now. “Hi.”

Arizona watched them shake hands then stare at each other. Swallowing back, she spoke up again to break the silence. “Teddy and I met in the last year of my residency and then we served together in Iraq for three years. She’s a world-class Cardiothoracic surgeon.”

Callie nodded silently, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

Arizona paused, squeezing the hand that was still holding onto Teddy’s. “She’s also the one who saved my life. Without her I wouldn’t have made it.” She turned a thankful grin up to her best friend.

Callie blushed. She felt like a bit of an ass for jumping to conclusions. While they didn’t appear to be girlfriends, she also reminded herself that it wasn’t her place to worry about such things.

“That makes her pretty awesome in my book,” she finally relented, some of the tension leaving her shoulders. She didn’t want to be a jerk for no reason, even though her jealous streak had flared up at the mere sight of Arizona’s arms around this woman.

Teddy looked at Arizona like she was on drugs, but Arizona just grinned crookedly in response.

“Anyway, I brought burgers, but I wasn’t expecting you to have company.” Callie gestured at the bag of food. “Teddy, you can have mine, I’m not really hungry. But I get the milkshake.”

“Seriously?” Teddy eyed the bag covered in grease stains with anticipation. “I haven’t had one of those in forever.”

“Funny, that’s exactly what Arizona said to me, a day after her first surgery. Right before she stole my burger.”

Teddy glared at the blonde for her obvious lack of self control.

“Hey! She was making me eat green jello,” Arizona shot back in defense. “That is not one of the food groups. I was hungry and she brought this big, juicy thing in here to taunt me with. It wasn’t fair!”

“Yeah, well, I’m the genius who successfully re-broke both of the bones in your leg and set them back again the day before. I _earned_ that burger. You, on the other hand, totally did nothing to earn anything but the jello. And besides, I gave you a damn bite.” Callie lifted a sharp eyebrow.

“Exactly! You _gave_ it to me, I did not steal it. Liar.”

Teddy glanced between the two of them as they continued to volley back and forth. It was odd, to say the least. Callie Torres was giving it to Arizona just as quickly and harshly as Arizona was to her – something that rarely happened. Not to mention her best friend was looking at Callie in a way she’d never seen her look at anyone else before.

“So, Teddy, how long are you in town for?”

Teddy’s eyes snapped up to meet Callie’s. Clearly she’d zoned out examining the questionable doctor/patient relationship these two shared. “Actually, your Chief of Surgery is head hunting me for the new Head of Cardio position here. I’ve got a meeting in–” She checked her watch. “Crap. Fifteen minutes.”

Arizona sat up, staring at her best friend with wide eyes. “You _what?_ ”

“I know, I know, I was just getting around to telling you,” Teddy laughed. “Why else do you think I’m dressed to impress?” She looked at her watch again. “I should probably get going. Dr. Torres, would you mind showing me where the Chief’s office is?”

“Uh, yeah, sure, I can do that,” Callie replied with a nod. “It’s not far.”

“Thanks.” Teddy stood and grabbed the bag she had set down on the floor earlier.

“Wait!” Arizona pushed herself up and reached back to yank her IV cord out from where it was stuck behind her. “I’ll go with you. Get me a chair.”

“No!” came two distinct, stern barks in response.

Arizona pouted. “Why not?” she whined, drawing out the last syllable.

Callie rolled her eyes. “Because I said so. I’ll come back after. My milkshake had better still be full by then.”

Teddy gave Arizona’s arm one last pat. “Get some rest, you moron. You have major surgery tomorrow.”

As Callie turned to lead her from the room, Teddy sent Arizona a knowing grin and a thumbs up behind her back.

Arizona slumped into her pillows and watched the two of them go. Her surprise and elation at seeing Teddy started to fade, and as soon as they were both out of sight, the perpetual loneliness returned full-force. Glancing around for a way to rebel, she reached out and snatched up Callie’s milkshake, sticking the straw between her lips.

This sucked. Big time.

***

The two surgeons walked side-by-side in silence through the second floor hallway. Teddy kept stealing glances at Callie, who never broke eye contact with the tile.

Callie’s mind was absolutely racing with so many unanswered questions that she didn’t even know if she had the right to ask.

“I bet you’re curious why her dad sent me instead of showing up himself, huh?” Teddy was perceptive, it seemed. “You called expecting him to fly out here.”

Callie fumbled for words. “I, uh...I-I don’t know what I was expecting. I – she’s just my patient. I was concerned about her mental well-being, that’s all.”

“Just your patient, huh?” Teddy tilted her head and studied Callie as they continued walking along. “I don’t know about you, but I don’t look at my patients like I want to pounce on them and stick my tongue down their throat.”

“What? I do not!” Callie glowered. “How dare you accuse me of... _that_. You don’t know me, okay? I’m a professional.” She fumed in silence, once more shooting lasers at the floor through her eyes. “We’re...friends, I think. She lonely. And she’s funny. And fun.”

Teddy’s smile grew as she watched Callie blush furiously. “She likes you, by the way.”

Callie’s head shot up. “What?”

“She likes you; you have to see it. She likes you a _lot_ , from what I can tell. There aren’t many people she responds to like she does with you. Also, she may or may not have mentioned you in a letter I got a few weeks ago. I believe the word ‘hot’ was thrown around a time or two.”

Callie reddened even more and looked anywhere but at Teddy. “Ha. No, she’s doesn’t. I just don’t let her get away with any of the crap she pulls, that’s all. She respects me, or something.”

“Whatever you say,” Teddy smirked, letting it slide for now.

Callie sighed and continued to lead them through the second level. “So, this thing with her parents. Why _didn’t_ they come? Or at the very least call?”

Teddy remained silent long enough that Callie started to wonder if she’d crossed another line again without meaning to. She seemed to be doing that a lot when it came to a certain patient of hers.

“It isn’t something she’ll talk about,” Teddy said after a long pause. “Ever. But you care about her, I can tell, so you should know.” As they passed through the swinging double doors onto the bridge corridor, she stopped walking and they stepped closer to the railing.

“Their relationship is strained, to put it in simple terms. I’m sure you know that her brother was killed in Iraq and that’s why she enlisted. Ever since then, she’s been convince that they blame her for his death. They say they don’t, and they try not to, but it’s always just been easier for the three of them to keep their distances. It works for them.”

“That’s horrible.” Callie was completely mortified. What kind of parents would blame their own child for the death of another? “And maybe it _did_ work at one point, but she’s miserable here all alone. That’s why I had the Chief call her dad. I hate seeing her so sad all the time.”

“I can tell.” Teddy smiled a little. “Her mom is just heartbroken and can’t move on, and her dad...he’s complicated. He dedicated his whole life to the Marines, you know? And to have Arizona enlist only after her brother died, he saw it as some sort of tainted obligation or something. She can’t please him no matter how hard she tries. And I know it hurts her; she’s just the kind of person that would rather take it to her grave than admit it out loud.”

Callie fell silent as she took it all in, a sinking feeling forming in the pit of her stomach. She felt as though another little piece of the Arizona puzzle had fallen into place, though it still didn’t explain everything about her. Callie couldn’t quite put her finger on it, there was just something keeping the blonde at a distance. Regardless of her own feelings, the two of them were slowly becoming friends, yet every time she came close to getting Arizona to open up, she just seemed to clamp shut even tighter. It was like she shut down before things could get too personal.

“She’s been really strong throughout all of this. She’s been waiting around, twiddling her thumbs for three weeks until this second surgery. Then two days ago she asks me do more than I had planned and make it harder on herself. I can do it, but I know she’ll be in a lot more pain when she wakes up. And she’s stubborn. God, is she stubborn.”

“Probably the most stubborn woman you will ever meet,” Teddy agreed. “But she’s a real sweetheart deep down, and she takes care of the people that she loves more fiercely than anyone I’ve ever known. She’s also a superior surgeon.”  

“She doesn’t talk about it much,” Callie replied, her curiosity roused again. “I mean, we’ve had one or two conversations where she’s mentioned stuff in passing. Mostly she just listens about my cases and things I’m working on. She doesn’t talk about anything she’s experienced.”  

Teddy’s eyes clouded over and she shook her head. “She’s seen a lot, we all have. I know as surgeons we all see some pretty gruesome things, but over there it’s different. You can’t know what it’s like until you’ve been through it.”  

“I was in the Peace Corps,” Callie supplied. “Maybe it’s not quite the same thing, but I have seen things.”  

Teddy looked contemplative. “When we were hit, Arizona was working on a man. A friend. Someone we’d known for years and who was a core member of our unit. He’d been taken out in a car bombing and there was every indication he was going to die. Being who she is, she tried to save him. And she might have, until the explosion went off. She got hit and the Sergeant was torn to shreds. She saw him right before she lost consciousness and there wasn’t much left. And that wasn’t the first horrible thing she’d witnessed, either. Getting hurt and going through what she did, it’s changed her. It’s changed a lot of good people.”

Callie went completely still.

Teddy released a heavy sigh and closed her eyes, rubbing two fingers and her thumb along the bridge of her nose. “We’re on the front lines over there. We’re all professionals, we’re good at our jobs, but a lot of that stuff sticks with you. It’s not some random stranger that came in through the doors of your ER. It’s the people we’ve served with, people who have become our family. It screws you up to see things like that. We all cope in different ways; she copes by not talking about it. So I guess what I’m trying to say is–” 

The Chief of Surgery opened his door and poked his head out, apparently looking for her. She pushed off of the railing and stood up straight. “Don’t take it personally if she doesn’t talk to you. She barely talks to me about any of it and I’ve been her best friend for five years. She’ll trust you the more she gets to know you, so don’t give up. She’s worth the effort, I promise.”  

With one final nod, Teddy left Callie standing in a stunned silence, reflecting on what she’d just been told. The brunette watched Dr. Altman shake hands with the Chief and step into his office, the door closing behind them. 

As Callie turned around and began her trip back to Arizona, a sudden well of emotion rose up in her chest. She wasn’t the kind of person that cried easily, especially not over some girl she barely even knew, but there was just something about Arizona that got to her. Thinking of how much pain she’d endured over the years, physically and emotionally, made her heart feel as though it was locked between a vice grip. Each and every step only tightened its hold until it became unbearable.

And because ninety-nine percent of her emotions were attached to her tear ducts, that meant she was probably going to cry.

Fuck.

Callie rushed past the elevator and barged into the first empty on-call room she could find, flopping down onto one of the beds and finally allowing the tears she’d been holding in to escape.

She wasn’t sure why she was upset. Maybe because of the things she’d felt when she saw Teddy in the room with Arizona, that nagging jealousy she hadn’t been expecting. Or maybe it was because she could do nothing about it. She sniffled loudly for reasons she couldn’t understand and because that made her mad, and when she was mad she sometimes cried.

She cried because this girl, this amazing, beautiful, witty, smart _woman_ with the most beautiful eyes she’d ever seen, had somehow worked her way under her skin. She cried because she could see how broken she was, and no amount of surgery from Callie was going to fix it. She cried because not too long ago she’d been hurt badly enough to think it would never get better. And looking at Arizona now, Callie was suddenly discovering she really had no idea what true pain was.

That scared her to death.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. She hadn’t wanted it to, she hadn’t planned for it. She certainly didn’t want Arizona to be some ‘rebound chick’ that left and she never heard from again. Erica had messed her up badly enough that she didn’t need another replay of that storyline.

She realized in that moment that she was falling for Arizona Robbins, whether she wanted to or not.

Becoming another Izzie Stevens was not an option. She could lose her job in a heartbeat, not to mention the other woman probably didn’t even feel remotely the same way. There were clearly more important things on Arizona’s mind than the dork of an orthopedic surgeon practically drooling on her shoes.

Callie took in a deep breath, closing her eyes and running her fingers back through her hair. If she was going to go back to Arizona now, there had to be zero indication that she’d ever been upset or crying or whatever she was doing right now. She stood up, straightened her shirt, and jammed her hands into her pockets as she exited the room.

She had a ‘date’ to get back to.

***

Left to her own devices, Arizona’s mood had darkened with nothing but silence to fill the time and space between visits.  

She wasn’t always like this. There was a time, before Iraq, that she thought of herself as a light-hearted, friendly, even happy person. Thinking about how she’d gotten from there to here made her head hurt. It seemed like a lifetime ago that she was Chief Resident and on her way to spend Christmas with her brother and his wife back in San Diego.  

Seeing Teddy again was a bright spot in an otherwise gloomy situation, although it had shaken her up more than she liked to admit. She hadn’t expected to see anyone from her old life here in Seattle and the reason she hadn’t made an effort to contact any of them was because she didn’t want them around. She didn’t want them to see what was left of the person they used to know, because the real Arizona Robbins didn’t live here any more. She didn’t want anyone to see her struggle while her life fell apart.  

Shaking her head, Arizona settled back and used the remote panel to raise herself up some more. Teddy was her best friend and she wasn’t going to deny that having her here gave her a surge of hope. She was lonely, even if she refused to admit it out loud to Callie.  

Callie had been wonderful. Arizona never expected to come here and meet someone like her. The prospect of more surgeries and over two months in a hospital bed, on top of what she’d already gone through in Germany, had made her want to jump out the window when she’d first arrived. Somehow Callie managed to help keep her sane. It hadn’t taken long for Arizona to realize that it went well past her witty charm and smashingly good looks.  

Callie looked at her in a way that threw Arizona for a loop. Every time those brown eyes focused on her own, Arizona felt a moment of panic seize her chest, as if Callie was looking straight through her and could see everything she didn’t want anyone else to see. No one had ever done that to her with a single, curious gaze before.  She was also kind, funny and had some of the cutest quirks that Arizona had ever seen. She was a good enough person to put up with her bullshit and still sit there and eat lunch with her every day regardless. Teddy had been in the room with them for twenty seconds and had picked up on it, that had to mean something.

  Arizona did her best to push those thoughts aside for now. She was here as Callie’s patient, nothing more. She wasn’t looking to get involved in something that would screw up what they already had going. Those visits were the highlight of her day and she had no idea what she would do if they stopped coming.  

A small knock on the door brought her out of a trance. She glanced up to see the subject of her thoughts standing in the entrance.  

“You looked really out of it,” the brunette called softly, taking a step into the room. “Everything okay?”

Arizona mustered up the best smile she could manage and sent it in Callie’s direction. “Yeah, of course.” She cleared her throat and tore her eyes away. “Seeing Teddy again brings back a lot of memories.” A mix of good and terrible ones, though she kept that to herself. “Did she find the Chief’s office okay?” 

Callie nodded. “She had a pretty good tour guide to help get her there. I made sure she found it. I even stayed to make sure she got in okay.”

“How chivalrous of you,” Arizona teased, chuckling to herself.

“I was taught to hold open doors, pull out seats, watch them get inside safely before pulling away...y’know, standard father-daughter lessons.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Mostly.” Callie stepped into the room and wandered over to check Arizona’s IV. “My dad’s not so okay with the whole ‘gay’ thing. He tolerates it, I guess. Those are all lessons I’ve since picked up on my own.”

“So basically you’re saying you wear the pants in this relationship.”

Callie cracked a grin. “Arizona, you aren’t wearing any pants.”

That immediately made the blonde blush despite her best efforts not to.

“Remind me to hold open a door for you sometime, show off my mad skills.” Callie took hold of the blanket and set about tucking her patient in properly.

“If I ever get out of this bed, _I’ll_ be the one doing that stuff, thank you very much.”

“Hey,” Callie scolded, glancing up to shoot her a tiny glare. “Of _course_ you’re gonna get out of this bed. And maybe, if you’re lucky, I’ll let you hold open a door or two in celebration. Just to make you feel special.”

She stepped back and looked around. “Where’s my milkshake?”

Arizona’s eyes widened and she abruptly looked anywhere except at Callie.

Oops.

“Where’d it go?” Callie quirked an eyebrow.

“I, uh...sort-of-maybe-drank-it?”

“ _Arizona!_ ” Callie reached out and swatted her on the shoulder, growling. “I specifically told you _not_ to do that!”

Arizona shrunk away, whining. “I’m sorry! I couldn’t help it. I didn’t know how long it would be till you came back and it was all melty!”

Callie narrowed her eyes dangerously. “Did you touch my cheeseburger? Because I swear I will sew your foot to your ass if you did.”

Arizona shook her head emphatically. “No, that I did not do. I started on mine, and yours is on the table where Teddy left it.” She smiled sheepishly.

Funny. The instant Callie’s piercing brown eyes nearly shot holes through in her skull, her bad mood vanished to be replaced with a...well, a more panicky, yet somehow lighthearted one.

“I’ll make it up to you, I swear. First chance we get once I’m out of here I’ll take you to...er...well, you’ll have to pick the place, because the only things I’ve seen in Seattle are the airport and the inside of this hospital room – neither of which make decent milkshakes.”

Callie lifted a slow, calculated eyebrow and started to smile. “Arizona Robbins, did you just ask me out on a date?”

“What?” Arizona’s eyes widened and she shook her head vigorously. “No! No, I did...nope. Not a date. Just an ‘I drank your milkshake when you told me not to’ kind of make up thing.” She smiled nervously, trying to win Callie over with her charm.

It didn’t seem to be working.

“Why? Do you _want_ to ask me to as you out on a date?” she added suspiciously.

It was Callie’s turn to blush. Somehow she managed to keep her calm and cool demeanor from crumbling entirely. “Nope, not at all. Just checkin’ to see if you were some kinda creepy stalker.”

She threw her signature cocky grin at Arizona, who suddenly looked just the tiniest bit rejected. Wanting to prevent the hurt from swirling in those blue eyes, Callie quickly rolled her own and reached out to tuck a golden curl behind Arizona’s ear. Her hand lingered, tracing a thumb gently across her smooth cheek.

Arizona took in a small breath, leaning into Callie’s touch.

Callie smiled triumphantly when she – quite literally – had Arizona in the palm of her hand. She could get used to that look and the feel of her hair as she ran her fingers through it.

Their eyes met for the briefest of moments, before Callie was forced to look away and drop her hand back to her side. That was not making things any easier. She tried to steer their conversation back on track before the urge to do it again became too strong.

“Arizona...the surgery tomorrow – are you sure you’re ready for that? I mean, two procedures at once is a lot, let alone a knee replacement _and_ the muscle scaling that will definitely take place if I try and remove the shrapnel.”

Callie looked up and searched the other woman’s features for any traces of doubt. “I just don’t want you to be in any more pain than you have to. We can take this slow. It’ll still get done and you’ll get your life back.”

Arizona took in a breath, her cheek still tingling from the brunette’s touch. “I’m scared, I’ll admit that. But I’m more scared of being stuck in this stupid hospital and having another stupid operation after this one. I lived in the desert, Callie. On and off for three whole years, and I just can’t take it anymore. I need parks, and space, and to get up and go running or driving or _anything_ besides sitting still and going crazy. And if that means going through hell again so it’ll happen sooner? I’m willing to suck it up and deal with the pain.”

Callie sighed in resignation. She already knew Arizona well enough to be perfectly aware that she wasn’t going to change her mind. “Is it bad that the thought of hurting you again with this surgery makes me feel absolutely awful?”

Arizona simply smiled. “Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.”

“Yeah.” Callie sighed again, looking away. “I should get going. Rounds are soon, then I’m off. I’ll stop by in the afternoon tomorrow and keep you company before we prep you for surgery. You still owe me a cheesy movie.”

“Don’t you have other patients?”

“Nope, you’re it. I cleared my schedule and everything so I could be here when you woke up. It’s only fair, seeing as I’m about to build you a new knee. Gotta stick around and make sure you don’t screw it up because you’re doing something stupid that you _know_ you shouldn’t be.”

Arizona grinned sheepishly. “Point taken.” She bit her lip. “I’ll see you in the morning, then?”

“Definitely.” Callie stood, patted Arizona on the arm, and headed for the door.

“Calliope?”

She turned back. “Hm?”

“Thanks for the burger and the shakes. They hit the spot.” Arizona fidgeted in place, looking a little more tentative. “And I’m glad you came by today.”

Callie flashed her a sincere smile. “You’re welcome. Now get some rest I’ll see you bright and early for our movie.”

She exited the room and didn’t stop walking until she rounded the far corner, sagging back and immediately dropping her head against the wall.

Yep. She was definitely falling for a patient.

 _Fuck._


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warning for this particular chapter:** contains violence and a depiction of suicide.

_March 19th, 2009_

 

“Oh my _God_ , why are these women so useless?”

Arizona growled at the tiny television screen from across the room, tossing a balled up napkin feebly in its direction. “First of all, everyone knows if you hear a noise in the middle of the night, the last thing you should do is try and figure out what it is _on your own_. Secondly, they damn well know they aren’t gonna outrun a guy twice their size that’s chasing them down with an knife, so why fight it? Just turn around, kick him in the nuts and go out swinging!”

Callie cast a sideways glance from her usual spot beside the bed. “Damn, woman. It’s just a movie.”

“I know,” Arizona huffed. “But seriously, these people drive me crazy. They’re asking to be murdered.” She shot an accusing glare at the other surgeon. “Why did I agree to watch this again?”

Callie laughed. “Because it was either a slasher flick or a ‘boy meets girl, boy falls for girl, boy asks girl to marry him’ movie. And you told me you didn’t want some hetero bullshit love story, and I quote – ‘crammed down my throat right before a freaking knee replacement’. Kinda didn’t leave us with any other options.”

That cute pout of Arizona’s reappeared, making Callie smile. The blonde was so endearing when she was cranky.

Arizona crossed her arms in stubborn defiance. “Fine. How much longer until they prep me and we get the show on the road?”

Callie checked the clock on the far wall. “About…fifteen minutes.”

“Whoa, wait a minute – were you just squinting?” Arizona’s brow line shot up. “You’re gonna be performing major surgery on me, replacing my knee and ripping off half of my leg, and you’re _squinting_?”

“What? No,” Callie shot back with a pointed glare of her own. “I just have a headache because I haven’t had any coffee yet. Because _someone_ got pissed off at me when I tried to bring it in here earlier.”

“You weren’t being fair!” Arizona said, sulking as if she had reverted back to her teenage years. “I can’t have anything in my belly before surgery and you were gonna sit here with coffee and food? Nuh-uh, no way. I would’ve been out of this bed and on you in a second if you’d walked in here with the smell of caffeine wafting from your hand.”

Callie sighed patiently, as though she were dealing with a small child. “It’s hospital coffee, Arizona. It’s basically mud. But I need some of that mud or I’m going to be pissy in the OR, and trust me, you don’t want a pissy surgeon building you a new leg.”

Arizona scoffed. “I thought you were a rockstar. Rockstars build knees with or without headaches, whether or not they’ve had coffee. You’re just being a whiny bitch, so suck it up.”

Callie straightened in her chair and fixed the blonde with a very dangerous look. “Did you just call the genius that’s about to build you a new leg with no coffee in her system a ‘whiny bitch’? Really?”

Arizona shrunk back, realizing her mistake. “Uh, _no_. Maybe you should get your hearing checked while you’re at the eye doctor.” She smiled innocently.

“Don’t look at me like that, you totally just called me a whiny bitch. You are so gonna pay for that.”

“Care to elaborate?” Arizona was just daring her to follow through, smirking defiantly. “Because, y’know, you’re my doctor. _Everything_ you do to me I’m supposed to know about.”

Callie leaned in a little closer than was probably necessary and whispered directly into her ear. “I’ll wake you up while you’re still loopy from the anesthesia, make you tell me a dirty, dirty little secret, and then I’ll hold it over your head for the rest of your life.”

Arizona’s mouth fell open. “You wouldn’t.”

“Oh, I would.” Callie grinned triumphantly and leaned back. “Don’t test me, Dr. Robbins.”

Arizona pouted again, trying to win Callie’s sympathies, but the brunette wasn’t having any of it. So she stole a quick glance at the bag of popcorn she was eating from and made a sudden lunge for it.

“Hey!” Callie dove in and grabbed the edge, losing the tug-of-war as Arizona ripped it from her grasp. She leapt up from her chair and both hands instantly flew down to the blonde’s ribcage.

Arizona shrieked with laughter as Callie’s fingers dug into her sides. She recoiled and tried to escape, but considering how trapped she was in the bed it didn’t quite pan out.

Why she had ever let it slip that she was ticklish in the first place was beyond her. Stupid move.

Popcorn flew everywhere and all hell broke loose for a good fifteen or twenty seconds. Arizona’s infectious laughter only drove Callie on, making her forget in that moment that she was not a ‘tickle’ kind of girl.

Amidst the squealing and laughter, Arizona suddenly seized up and doubled over. A deep, sharp pain shot through her midsection without warning. Callie withdrew in an instant and swore loudly under her breath.

“Shit, I’m _so_ sorry!” She would’ve voluntarily smacked herself upside the head with a brick if she wasn’t so concerned about having nearly killed Arizona with her stupidity.

“No, I’m fine,” Arizona gasped, groaning as she clutched at her right side. It didn’t hurt nearly as much as it had three weeks ago when she was first admitted, but it definitely wasn’t pleasant, to say the least. Being skewered through-and-through took a surprisingly long time to heal properly.

She reached out to grab Callie by the arm before she could step too far away. “Does this…m-make us even, then?”

“God, I’m sorry,” Callie muttered, smacking a hand against forehead. “I’m your doctor and I should remember that you had a piece of sheet metal gut you like a fish.” She hovered over the bed, unsure if touching the woman would be helpful or make things worse.

Arizona managed a short laugh and tugged her closer, the pain slowly receding. “I’m fine, really. Don’t throw yourself off a cliff over it.” She very reluctantly released the brunette’s wrist, fingers drifting across the soft skin before pulling away entirely.

Callie swallowed thickly, arm tingling from the delicate touch. “I should...I-I need to...yeah. I’m gonna get some coffee and go over your scans and my notes one more time before we go in there, okay? Just sit back, relax, and for the love of God, _please_ don’t give the nurses a hard time. For me? Please?”

Arizona held up her hands in surrender. “Okay, I won’t do anything. For you.”

Callie smiled.

“Now go, get prepared, do your thing and I’ll see you on the table,” Arizona instructed. “The sooner we get this show on the road, the sooner I can get out of this bed and start training for those marathons you told me I’ll be running.”

“Oh, there’ll be marathons,” Callie promised. “All kinds of them.”

Arizona returned the small smile and reached up again to tug on the surgeon’s sleeve. “Make me a promise?”

“Anything.”

“When I run the first one? You’ve gotta be there doing it with me.”

Callie’s eyebrow skyrocketed. “What now?”

“That way I can kick _your_ ass at something and make _you_ cry like a baby because I’m leaving you in the dust.”

Callie grinned lopsidedly. “Oh, you’re on. But don’t go getting all cocky on me yet, I’m deceivingly fast.”

Arizona laughed and released her. Before she’d gone too far, though, she called out again. “Calliope.”

The addressee turned around and stepped back over. “Yes, Dr. Robbins?”

“Thank you. For everything.”

“Thank me after you cross that finish line – _behind_ me.”

“Not a bad place to be,” the blonde replied smoothly.

Callie shot her another wide grin, letting her have that one for now. She noticed how shaky the trauma surgeon’s attempt at smiling was and took her hand, all traces of teasing gone. “Don’t worry, I’m gonna rock this. I promise.”

“I’m holding you to that.” Arizona’s voice quaked despite the calm front she was putting up.

Callie squeezed her fingers. “See you in a bit.”

As she exited the room, Callie snuck a glance over her shoulder, worried Arizona would fall into that depressive funk she was so prone to these days. Already the blonde’s eyes were cast out the window, staring off into the cloudy sky, looking pensive as she subconsciously fiddled with the blanket beneath her fingers. Callie made a silent resolution to ensure every bit of this surgery was successful, no matter how difficult it became.

Just as she faced forward again, a figure appeared out of nowhere and she nearly bowled them both over. “Oh! Sorry.”

Teddy Altman took a step back, steadying Callie by the shoulder.

Callie’s eyes widened. “Uh, hi. Been there long?”

“Long enough,” came the response. Teddy looked amused.

“Right.” Callie cleared her throat and pointed in the opposite direction. “Well, I’m just gonna go. Get coffee. And…stuff.”

She stole another secretive glance through the window at Arizona, who was still brooding. “Keep her calm, okay? Make her think happy thoughts and lift her spirits. She’ll need that attitude going into the OR.”

“I’ll try. But from what I saw you were doing a pretty good job of ‘lifting her spirits’ yourself.”

Callie blushed, hating how often that was happening these days, and stepped around the stationary figure in her path. “Okay then. See you later.”

She forced herself to walk away at a pace that couldn’t be considered running, ignoring the fact that she was heading in the wrong direction.

Teddy snickered and headed inside. By the time she arrived, Arizona had already noticed the exchange through the open door and looked more than a little guilty. Teddy could read her like a book and the smug grin on the Cardio surgeon’s face made sure Arizona knew that Teddy _knew_. Although knew what, exactly, the blonde wasn’t quite sure of herself.

“So...” Arizona drummed her fingers against the bed. “Is this the part where you tell me I’m not supposed to be buddy-buddy with the pretty lady doctor? Because you can save it.”

“Right, because I’ve successfully told you how to live your life in the past and each time it worked out _really_ well.” Teddy pulled up the chair Callie usually occupied and sat down. “I seem to remember telling you that Joanne was bad news and you two broke up years ago for a reason. But then you went and convinced yourself that it was a good idea to give it a second try and we all know how that one ended up.”

Arizona rolled her eyes and grumbled under her breath.

“I’m not saying anything about you and Dr. Torres, by the way,” Teddy continued, watching her best friend fidget. “You two just seem very _cozy_.”

Arizona shrugged and refused to meet her gaze, looking casually around the room instead. “We’re just friends. She’s…friendly. Taking pity on the poor, wounded soldier that has no family and a tough yet lovable exterior.”

It was Teddy’s turn to roll her eyes. “You are so full of it. Does that crap ever work on women?”

Arizona beamed. “Always.”

“You let her tickle you. And you _giggled_.”

Her head shot up. “I did _not_ giggle!” she snapped, colour abruptly flooding her cheeks.

“Oh yes you did.”

Arizona growled. “Did not. I don’t giggle. Ever.”

“You used to,” Teddy pointed out. “Back when you were the annoyingly happy-go-lucky Chief Resident that still managed to instill fear in those beneath you. You were known to giggle back then. And laugh. Occasionally even smile.”

“Yeah, well, that was then. I’m not that girl anymore,” Arizona said, shaking her head. “You know that. You know how being over there changes you.”

“I do, and I’m not faulting you for it,” Teddy said lightly. “You know I love you no matter what. All I’m trying to say is that you giggled. You smiled. You actually looked happy for a moment, even though you’re about to undergo major surgery. And that look faded the second a certain someone stepped out of this room.”

Arizona squirmed uncomfortably, chewing on her bottom lip. “Yeah. She’s pretty great. Stop looking at me like that, please.”

“Arizona, she’s your doct–”

“I know! Which is why nothing has happened. Nothing _will_ happen. We’re just...we’re being friends. She’s helping me through this as more than just my surgeon. I need that right now, okay?”

Teddy held up a hand in surrender as a nurse entered the room to help prep the patient for surgery. She stood up. “Okay, okay, I’ll drop it for now. I’m just saying that it’s nice to hear you laugh again. Or act even remotely happy about a girl, whether or not she’s your surgeon. Just be careful, that’s all.”

Arizona smiled as Teddy headed for the door and the nurse started fiddling with her IV.

“By the way, I got the job.”

Arizona looked up. “Really?”

Teddy nodded. “Yep. I start Monday.”

“Guess that means you’re gonna have to start keeping me company, too. And if you don’t, I’m going to steal Calliope’s pager and send you random messages that’ll lead you to a supply closet on the sixth floor.”

Teddy didn’t miss a beat. “Calliope, huh? Oh, you have it _so_ bad.” With that, she turned on her heels and left.

Arizona wrinkled her nose in defiance.

Did not.

***

Callie’s mind was focused and sharp as she methodically scrubbed in, replaying over and over in her head everything she planned on doing during this procedure. She was like a well-oiled machine, confident in her ability to reenact each and every hand motion in her sleep if she had to.

As she pushed through the door to the OR and accepted a sterile towel from one of the scrub nurses, she stepped over to the operating table and looked down. The same nurse pulled on her scrub cover and began to tie it in the back.

“Are you sure you’re up for this?”

Arizona flashed her a shaky smile and nodded. “You bet your ass I am.”

Callie chuckled and shook her head, far from fooled. Arizona might be putting on a brave face but she could see in her eyes how terrified she was.

“I’ll be right there with you the whole time,” she whispered softly, reaching down to squeeze the blonde’s hand through the towel. She wanted nothing more than to hold it directly, to give her that level of physical comfort, but she needed to remain sterile.

“I would hope so. I don’t need some intern chopping it off below the knee while you step out for a smoke.” Arizona clenched Callie’s hand tightly; tighter than she would have liked.

A knee replacement was a big deal and she knew she would have some physical limitations for the rest of her life because of it. She would probably even need a new one at some point. It just hurt so badly that anything was better than keeping it as it was. She hoped the extra hours Callie was tacking on to remove bone and shrapnel fragments, followed by the damaged tissue in her calf, wouldn’t mean she had no muscle mass left when all was said and done. A knee replacement would be pretty pointless if she didn’t have a leg left to stand on.

Callie had been completely honest in saying she didn’t know how much she would have to scale until she was in there. Any scar tissue that had formed would have to be cut out, and depending on how much of the muscle was damaged beyond repair, it would have to be removed as she dug for remaining fragments.

Arizona took in a deep breath as the anesthesiologist arrived to put her under. Thinking like that was counterproductive.

“See you on the other side?” She lifted her gaze. For a moment her guard faded completely and she had to swallow back the sudden, thick lump forming in her throat.

“I won’t let anything happen to you, okay? You’re in good hands.” Callie squeezed hers even tighter. “I need my daily lunch buddy in good shape.”

“Okay.” Arizona gave a stiff nod. “Let’s do this.” She didn’t pull away, flexing her fingers instead.

Callie cradled Arizona’s hand between both of her own. “I wasn’t planning on letting go until I had to.” She smiled reassuringly from beneath her scrub mask.

“Okay, Dr. Robbins,” the anesthesiologist spoke up. “Count back from ten for me, nice and slow.”

Arizona took in her first breath as the gas mask was placed over her mouth and nose. She held a steady eye contact with the surgeon before her eyelids began to droop. “Ten, nine...e-eight...sev...en...six...fi...v…”

Her grip slackened just as the anesthesiologist nodded to Callie. “She’s out.” The mask was removed and Arizona was intubated. After taking a moment to tuck the woman’s hand carefully by her side, Callie turned around and switched gears.

“All right, people. Let’s get this show on the road. Abby, will you turn on the music for me? This is gonna be a long one.”

As Nine Inch Nails came on over the speakers, Callie chuckled beneath her mask at the exhausted sigh that came from her support staff. Whatever. It was her OR. They could suck it.

“Scalpel.”

***

 _July 2007_

 _”We’ve cleared the area,” Sergeant Matthews shouts over the not-so-distant sound of gunfire to the small group gathered around him. I try to tune out the noise and focus on what he’s saying, because my nerves are already frayed and I realize that worrying about getting shot isn’t going to help anyone._

 _“Take your gear and get everyone out. Watch the rooftops and radio for more backup if you see it. Any wounded insurgents need to be secured before the medics get near them.”_

 _I nod at his instructions. Blood is pounding harder through my veins now, hard enough that I barely hear the chaos around me. Jumping out of the support vehicle I’d arrived in, I follow two armed men who scoured the rooftops for signs of life. I’m grateful to be with them, their confidence giving me the boost I need to keep moving._

 _We duck into the doorway of each shack that adorns the narrow street. The sound of weapons discharging is a little too close for comfort and I see a few other teams heading in the opposite direction. I shake it off. I can’t let myself focus on that now, no matter how nerve-wracking it feels. All that matters is getting the injured out and back to base camp as fast as humanly possible. The rest I can think about later, after everyone is safe._

 _ “Man down! We need back up.” _

_The familiar call comes over the radio and we pick up the pace, reaching a bombed-out building about half a block away. It looks like it might have been a single family dwelling at some point, though I can’t be sure. It’s obvious that it had been abandoned long ago when chaos and unrest erupted in the area._

 _A cluster of men, four of them including the two I was with, surround a fallen soldier by the time I arrive in the back hall. I blink back a thick droplet of sweat that rolls into my eyes and ignore the stinging sensation as I drop to my knees. I am vaguely aware of more bodies in the far corner of the room, but pay no attention to them. I have learned to focus on the ones you can help right in front of you, so I activate my tunnel vision and don’t ask any questions._

 _“GSW to the right shoulder and leg; doesn’t look like it hit any major arteries,” another field medic tells me._

 _“What about you?” I ask the Marine to the left of me, noticing the blood that streams from a giant gash on his cheek. “You’re bleeding.”_

 _“Flesh wound,” the man replies. He’s standing, that’s all I need to know for now, so I turn my attention back to the wounded man who lays at my feet._

 _“He won’t be able to walk,” I assess. “You two get a stretcher, and you–” I point to gash-cheek guy, “–get yourself back to the support vehicles, I’ll stay here and pack his wounds until we can move him.”_

 _The four men looked uncertain, so I send them my best ‘no bullshit’ glare and snap an orderly, “Go!” We don’t have time for chivalrous crap to get in the way. The area is clear to our knowledge and we need to get moving._

 _“Yes, ma’am,” the other one confirms. He nods for the other two to follow him out._

 _Once they are gone, I focus on the man in front of me. It’s hot – too hot – and I can barely think straight, so I tear my helmet off and discard it to the side. I snap on latex gloves from my bag and grab the necessary packing gauze._

 _“Jimmy, I need your eyes up here, buddy. Stay awake for me.”_

 _Jimmy is twenty-three and on his second tour of duty. He has one of the foulest mouths out of everyone in our unit and is funny as hell. Surprisingly religious, too, for a kid with such a colourful vocabulary. He always wears a gold cross his Mama gave to him right before he shipped out._

 _He’s a good kid._

 _“Fuck me, ma’am, that’s the last god damn thing I want to do right now.” His Texas drawl is labored and full of pain, yet he somehow manages a short bark of laughter to go with the profanity. Blood flows freely from his thigh and shoulder, though constant pressure seems to be helping._

 _Thankfully for him, I’ve seen worse._

 _I offer him a friendly smile as I do my best to tie off his leg. “I know, buddy, but I need you to listen to me and stay awake. Even if you need to cry like a baby to do so, I won’t say anything to anyone.”_

 _Jimmy groans again and coughs, a low gurgle bubbling in the back of his throat. “Thank you, ma’am,” he murmurs, eyelids beginning to droop with exhaustion._

 _“Hey!” I swat him on the cheek with the tips of my fingers. “James Theodore Bensmiller, do not make me phone your mother when we get back and tell her you were asleep on the job.” I set him with a pointed glare and to my delight earn that cute, crooked little grin of his. “There’s a good boy. Now hold still.”_

 _His eyes settle over my shoulder, blanking out. “He was usin’ his damn kid.”_

 _I am so focused on keeping pressure on his shoulder that the meaning doesn’t quite register with me immediately. “Hm?”_

 _“Fucker.” Jimmy coughs again, this time a trace of blood appearing at the corner of his mouth. Somewhere outside, far away yet close enough to rock the building, I hear an explosion. I duck my head over top of my patient and shield his body with my own. Dust and small debris falls from the crumbling roof above us, but everything appears to stay in tact for the most part._

 _I hate getting stuck in the middle of an active firefight, but I’m always the first one to volunteer. Somebody has to do it and I’m not about to send anyone else from my surgical team in. I’ve done it plenty of times and they lack the experience._

 _“He used his...fuckin’ kid. Who the fuck does that?” Jimmy leans to the side and spits a wad of coagulated blood into the dirt. “Motherfucker.”_

 _Perhaps it’s the pain in his voice that finally makes me look up. “Who, Jimmy?”_

 _His jaw tightens and I look over my shoulder towards the two bodies I’d noticed before. It looks like we are in a kitchen of sorts; pots and pans lay scattered amongst the wreckage. But that isn’t what I notice._

 _I see a child of no more than four or five; a man’s arm - presumably his father’s –wrapped around his chest. They both lie back against the farthest cabinet. A dark crimson liquid has soaked into the floor and dried into flakes along the cabinets and walls. Previously white shirts are saturated with red and caked to the bodies that wore them. Blood. An AK-47 is limply clasped in the grown man’s hand and bullet holes riddle both sides of the walls._

 _Bile rises in my throat and I have to look away to stop myself from being sick._

 _“He had a gun.”_

 _I meet Jimmy’s eyes, hear the pleading in his voice, and begin to see the horror of what has happened take over him. Now I know that the tears that were escaping are not from physical pain._

 _“You did what you had to do, soldier. You didn’t ask him to put his own life before a child’s.” I swallow hard and press my shaking hand harder into his chest. “I need you to stay awake and focus on me. We’ll get you out of here in a second, I promise.”_

 _For his sake, we need to move as soon as possible. Having him panic while staring at the child he’d been forced to shoot could end in disaster._

 _Jimmy doesn’t even acknowledge what I said, his eyes focused on the scene in front of him. I call his name a few times and he eventually turns his gaze back to face me. His expression sends a shock through my body. The life is gone from his eyes, replaced with a blank and unfeeling darkness. “Fucker used his kid as a shield.”_

 _My heart sinks as he repeats himself. He’s weak and dazed, and I’m starting to worry that he will lose consciousness before the team arrives to transport him._

 _I turn away for a moment, just a moment, one hand pressed against the entry wound below his clavicle, the other searching through my bag of supplies for a needle. He’s so quiet that I don’t notice as his hand moves beside his body. I don’t notice as he musters all the energy he has left to reach down to the short range hand pistol at his hip, a weapon that all soldiers carry with them. I don’t notice as his fingers wrap around the handle of the gun or as he lifts it slowly to his head. I don’t notice as he presses the barrel to his temple._

 _It’s too late by the time I realize what he’s doing. I look up and for a brief nano-second I meet his eyes. They’re bright green. I’d always known them to be so full of life._

 _He’s a good kid – he got straight A’s back in high school before enlisting, he was a State Champion in football two years in a row, and his mom sent him care packages from back home once a month. He always shared the goodies and twice now had given me some of the best loot because he knew I had a sweet tooth for chocolate._

 _He pulls the trigger._

 _I recoil, the muzzle flash temporarily stunning me and the ‘bang’ nearly bursting my eardrums. The human eye can blink shut within three-hundred milliseconds – but it still isn’t fast enough. I see his face shift, deform in ways a human face isn’t supposed to move before I can look away. Even as I stumble back and fall on my ass I can feel that my face is wet. I force myself to stop thinking. I have to, because the sound and the smell and the **feel** of it all makes my empty stomach churn. I’m too shocked to throw up. Every muscle in my body is seized with so much tension that I’m sure all someone has to do is breathe on me and I’ll shatter._

 _I don’t know when my eyes open or why, but they do. The sickness rises inside of me a second time, this wave a lot stronger, and it’s all I can do to pull in a raspy breath through my nose without throwing up._

 _I want to run but I can’t move._

 _I don’t hear the others come back, although it must only be seconds later. I have no idea what happens next, except that as I stare at the slumped and bloody form of the former Private Jimmy Bensmiller, two sets of strong hands grab me under each arm and haul me to my feet. After that, the others do the walking for me. I am too stunned to protest as I’m guided back to the vehicle. Someone else retrieves his body to bring home to his family._

 _When I get back to base camp, the first thing I do is change my clothes, throwing the blood-soaked rags away. I want to be clean; I **need** to be clean. I find a pale of water and scrub my face so hard my skin starts to bleed, blood replacing blood. Suddenly someone’s hands are on mine, pulling me away from the water. I try to resist but they’re stronger than me. I fight back, arms and legs thrashing, as someone repeats my name over and over again._

***

Callie was dozing peacefully with Arizona’s hand clutched tightly in her own. It had been a long and grueling afternoon in the OR and she was glad it was over. Despite her own exhaustion, she was determined to keep her promise and be the first thing Arizona saw when she woke up, even though she knew it could be a while. She felt comfortable relaxing while she waited; her thumb tracing the curve of the smaller hand in her own, the soothing motion keeping her occupied.

She was just about to drop off into a light sleep when the sound of a blaring heart monitor nearly sent her through the roof.

Arizona started thrashing uncontrollably, twisting her head from side to side, back arching painfully off of the bed. It looked like she was having a seizure; she looked like she was trying to move, trying to run, push, fall, escape – _something_. The monitor overhead screamed as her heart pounded violently inside of her chest.

But she wasn’t getting anywhere, she wasn’t waking up, and Callie was suddenly terrified that she’d destroy all of the work they’d just completed.

“Wha–” She shot forward, trying to shake the other woman back to life while simultaneously holding her down. “Arizona! _Arizona!_ ”

Nothing changed. She was locked up too tightly inside her own head, unable to come out of it on her own. Callie flew into a panic. She yelled her name three times, each one louder than the last, pinching her arm and squeezing her hand, only nothing happened. The distorted look of sheer terror etched into the woman’s features only made Callie more and more desperate to get her out of wherever the hell she was stuck.

She had to stop Arizona from hurting herself – at all costs. So she jumped onto the bed and straddled the injured leg, locking it mid-thigh between both of her knees and clamping down as hard as she could. She had to protect it; Arizona had worked too long and too hard for something irreversible to happen now.

Callie grabbed her by the shoulders, pinning her to the bed. She pushed down in an effort to wake Arizona up and pull her out of whatever nightmare she was trapped in. She knew the look of agony on the blonde’s beautiful face had nothing to do with post-op pain.

“Arizona! _Wake up!_ Arizona, look at me. Look! Open your eyes and look at me!” Callie squeezed her shoulders, hard. “Please, just open your eyes. I need you to wake up, I need to see your eyes. C’mon, you can do it. Wake up!”

Arizona did no such thing. Instead she pushed back against Callie, swiping at her shoulders in a desperate attempt to break free. Callie recoiled slightly but remained firmly on top, making sure the injured leg was as immobilized as she could manage throughout the struggle.

Her voice quaked with her own rising desperation. “Arizona! Open your fucking eyes _right now!_ Do you hear me? Open them!”

And just like that, she did.

Arizona’s eyelids flew open, lungs seizing in her chest, and she started to sob. Her eyes were wild as they darted around the room, trying to figure out where she was and how she’d got there. Everything was a blur, her mind too foggy and delirious to realize what was happening. She opened to mouth to speak, to yell, only nothing came out; and she gasped for breath, a heavy weight inside her chest making it impossible to inhale. Then she started to panic and made it even harder.

“Arizona, _look at me._ ”

Arizona’s focus shot upward, tears continuing to flow freely as she hyperventilated.

Callie’s heart broke, hardly able to stand how terrified she looked in the midst of her anesthesia-induced nightmare.

“I’m real, okay? Touch me, I’m real, I’m right here.” She gently cradled the left side of Arizona’s face, both hands free now that she no longer had to hold her down. “You just had surgery on your knee, remember?”

A small whimpered escaped the blonde’s lips.

“I’m right here, sweetie,” Callie murmured gently. “You’re okay, everything is fine. Just take a deep breath and look at me. Look into my eyes and breathe.”

Arizona tried again but only managed to inhale a shallow wheeze. At least it was a start. Another hard sob wracked her entire body and she felt so sick she could hardly stand it.

“You’re alive, you’re awake, everything is just fine. Your surgery went perfectly, everything is okay. You’re in the hospital and I’m right here with you just like I promised. See?” Callie stroked a tear-stained cheek with her thumb, cradling Arizona’s face in her palm. “I’m real, you’re real, and you just have to keep breathing. Please, Arizona, just keep breathing.”

For what seemed like forever, Arizona remained completely motionless beneath Callie, blue eyes focused intently up into dark brown. Every so often an involuntary shudder would pass through her entire body. Neither moved, neither spoke. Callie kept her hand on Arizona’s cheek to ground her, to make her feel the warmth, to prove to her she was right there.

She was completely terrified that if she took it away, the panic would start again.

Arizona’s gaze drifted to Callie’s chest, watching it rhythmically rise and fall, trying to match it breath for breath. Eventually she began to calm down, her breathing gradually evening out, heart continuing to pound violently enough to smash ribs.

Callie glanced down to the leg she had pinned between her knees. She was pretty sure she had protected it from the worst of the thrashing, thank god. She dropped her hand from Arizona’s cheek to reach down and start to pull back the sheets, wanting to get a good look just to be sure.

Arizona grabbed the front of her scrubs so suddenly and so tightly with both fists that Callie would have pitched forward had she not braced both forearms against the bed.

“Okay, hey, look at me. I’m not leaving, I’m staying right here, okay? You’re safe. I won’t move, I’ll stay right here. Just breathe. Watch me breathe and do it with me.” Callie very slowly pulled in another deep, calming breath, releasing it in a soft gust of air. She repeated the motion, deep and exaggerated, until Arizona started to follow along.

“Slow. There we go; nice and slow.”

Arizona’s fingers loosened their grip on the shirt ever so slightly but she still refused to let go.

Callie reached up to tuck a golden curl behind her ear, stroking her cheek some more. She noticed the softening of her features at the gentle touch and sighed in relief. It was a start; she was coming back to her. Callie felt some of her own panic release its hold on her heart.

Arizona took in another shaky breath and sagged into her pillow, leaning into Callie’s hand as silent tears continued to fall. A thumb gently traced the line of her jaw, helping her stay focused on the moment. Blue eyes flickered up to meet brown and she forced the corner of her mouth to twitch in a distinct upward motion.

“There’s that beautiful smile,” Callie murmured softly, producing one of her own. “I’m not going anywhere, I just need to make sure your leg is okay, so I’m going to move down to take a look. You’ll be able to see me the whole time. Just keep calm and watch me, all right? I’m right here.”

She made a move to pull out of Arizona’s grasp and the blonde immediately tightened her fists around the scrub shirt again. Hoarsely, in a barely-there whisper, Callie heard her speak for the first time.

“Don’t.”

Her heart broke all over again and she instantly stilled.

“S-stay. Don’t...please.” Arizona could feel the tension rise in her chest even when Callie only moved a mere inch or two away. The physical closeness was the only thing keeping her grounded right now. She was still delirious with the drugs and after-effects of being under anesthesia for so long, but she was awake enough to focus on the scent and feel of the woman on top of her. She clung to her like a lifeline.

Callie nodded and shifted down until she was lying next to the shaking woman. Arizona’s fingers remained tightly wrapped around the front of her scrub top, staring unwaveringly into her eyes in a silent plea not to leave.

Callie smiled warmly, brushing her fingers back through Arizona’s hair. “I’m right here, baby. You’re safe.”

Finally, _finally_ , she felt Arizona begin to relax. It took some time before the woman began to drift in and out of consciousness once more. The fingers around her top loosened, though Callie didn’t budge an inch. She watched Arizona like a hawk for even just the smallest signs of distress, ready to be there in an instant to pull her out of it. A clear schedule meant she could stay here as long as possible, though she could’ve had a thousand surgeries to do and not moved until morning. Never in her life could she have realized exactly how much the blonde needed someone by her side right now. For all Arizona claimed to be ‘fine’, her subconscious was clearly stating otherwise.

Callie watched the exhausted woman dozing next to her for a while. She shifted closer, searching for any signs of pain or discomfort, prepared to banish them the moment they arose. Luckily she found none as Arizona fully relaxed, the tension melting away from her body. She was out like a light in under five minutes.

Callie was gradually feeling herself do the same. It was the first time in forever that she really, truly felt content since the disaster with Erica. Arizona had been stirring up these feelings in her that Callie wasn’t sure about, and now...now she was. She wanted nothing more than to be the one to lie here and keep Arizona from experiencing this ever again. She owed her that much in return for the peace the blonde seemed to finally bring to her.

Arizona had earned some peace, too. Some relief, some sleep. Callie was going to damn well make sure she received it.

Resigning herself to the fact that she had no control over these feelings, Callie pressed a gentle kiss to the dozing woman’s forehead before closing her eyes and falling into a light, comfortable sleep alongside her.


	8. Chapter 8

Arizona was in and out of consciousness for the rest of that night, never aware of anything beyond the warm body next to her, keeping her grounded and the nightmares at bay. When the fog in her brain finally started to lift, it was shortly after sunrise. Weak light blotted out behind the dusty old curtains by the far window and she figured it was around six or so in the morning.

Everything hurt - her neck, her arms, her back, her side. It was a dull ache, suppressed by the vast amount of painkillers flowing through her system, but it was a present pain none the less. The back of her throat felt like sandpaper and she grimaced when she made the mistake of trying to swallow too quickly.

It took a moment for her eyes to stop hurting and as soon as they adjusted to being open again, she slowly glanced around the room. A few thoughts flashed through her mind, one of them being Callie curled up beside her, the other an acknowledgment that she'd had surgery the night before. It felt as though a ton of bricks were weighing her head down but she somehow managed to lift it off of the pillow and peer down the length of her body. The usual blue and white blankets covered her lower half, obstructing her view of her leg. Scrunching her forehead, Arizona tried with all her might to wiggle her toes, clenching her jaw when the motion sent a fresh shot of pain straight up the limb.

That in itself was reassuring – pain meant everything was still in tact. She fumbled with her right hand, reaching down to her knee and feeling the bulk of bandages beneath the blanket. The corners of her mouth twitched up into the beginnings of a weak smile – Callie was a rockstar, as promised. She trusted the surgeon to have done everything in her power to yield the best possible results, even if that meant everything would soon feel much worse than it did now. Nothing less than perfection was acceptable to Dr. Torres, Arizona had learned that much about her in their six weeks together.

Thinking of the brunette suddenly made her hyper-aware of the form sprawled out next to her. She very slowly turned her head to the right, eyes settling on the figure by her side. Another smile formed as she watched the slow rise and fall of Callie's chest, finding comfort in her familiar presence. While the night before was still a blurry mix of reality and the dream world, Arizona knew Callie had done more than just save her leg. She would owe the woman more than a milkshake when this was all was said and done.

A motion out of the corner of her eye made her look up. Teddy stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame with a bagel bag in one hand and coffee tray in the other. She lifted a questioning eyebrow from across the room, not bothering to hide her smirk. Arizona raised her left hand and clumsily pressed a finger to her lips. Callie looked too peaceful to be woken up right now and truth be told, Arizona wanted her to stay put for a little while longer. She didn't know if she'd ever get a chance to see her like this again.

Teddy nodded and indicated the food offerings before setting them on a rolling tray by the door for later. She stole one cup of coffee for herself and winked at her best friend, then stepped back outside and closed the door behind her.

Licking her lips, Arizona settled back into the pillow, fighting against the drowsy pull threatening to drag her under. Focusing on the woman next to her kept out thoughts and memories she didn't want to deal with just yet.

At some point after the surgery, Callie had apparently found the time to wash up before sitting at her bedside. Arizona shifted closer on the pillow and breathed in her heady scent, closing her eyes in contentment. Callie smelled really good. It made her a tiny bit self-conscious – she felt sweaty, uncomfortable and extremely unattractive right now. Her showers since being admitted to Seattle Grace were generally short and awkward with a cast on, and post-op she felt gross on a whole new level.

Sighing to herself, Arizona gently brushed back a dark lock of hair that had fallen over Callie's cheek and tucked it behind her ear. The brunette wrinkled her nose and snorted quietly in her sleep – it was just about the most adorable thing Arizona had ever seen. She leaned closer, wincing at the rising discomfort beginning to emanate from her lower extremities.

For now the miracle drugs she was on made it possible to bury the pain and attempt to get comfortable again. The prospect of going back to sleep was somewhat daunting, with dark thoughts and memories from her past threatening to rise up and bombard her all at once. In her waking life she was usually able to focus on other things and keep her mind occupied, but when she slept they came back to haunt her. She didn't want to think about the past she had tried so hard to bury, far below the surface where it would never again see the light of day.

Sucking in a sharp breath, Arizona instinctively curled her fingers around the front of Callie's scrub top again. She re-focused on her steady, even breathing and the beating of her heart. When it became impossible to keep her eyes open any longer, they drifted shut and she was finally able to relax.

For once, her slumber was dreamless.

***

The next time she opened her eyes, the room was much brighter. Teddy made sure no one bothered them; Arizona had no idea how she managed it but she was grateful for the lack of interruptions, even though her medication was running dry and she needed someone to change out the bag. Her leg was now throbbing steadily and she knew it was going to get a hell of a lot worse in a short period of time.  

Still, she could hang on just a little while longer. She had done it before. 

In an attempt to ignore the increasing level of pain, she focused on Callie dozing beside her. Half asleep herself, she noticed the slight change in the woman’s peaceful features the moment she started to wake up. Tiny, minute muscles twitched and creased as Callie returned to consciousness, and finally a pair of glassy brown eyes peeked open.

Arizona didn’t move a muscle, watching her wake up with a soft smile. “Hi.” Her voice was hoarse and dry from a combination of not speaking for almost a day and the breathing tube in her throat during the operation. Her fingers played with the front of Callie’s scrub top, gaze flicking down for a brief second before moving back up.

“Mm...hi.” Still three-quarters asleep, Callie pushed her face a little deeper into Arizona’s shoulder, burrowing in nice and close.

Arizona reluctantly released her hold on the navy scrub top. “How did you sleep?”

“Mm. Really, really wel– _shit!_ ” Callie’s eyes suddenly popped all the way open and she half sat up. “I fell asleep! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.” She wasn’t entirely sure how comfortable Arizona would be with her doctor lying in bed next to her.

“I seem to vaguely remember not giving you much of a choice,” Arizona reminded gently. She tugged on the brunette’s scrubs again. “No moving, no squirming, no regrets and no worries. Because I’m the patient, my knee is brand new, and I say that’s what I want. Got it?” She bit her bottom lip and tried to hide a smile, tired as it was.

Callie studied Arizona closely, relaxing. She was so thankful to look into her eyes and see peace, relaxation and even a hint of mischievousness reflecting back at her. She was thankful to see anything other than the terror that had been present the night before.

“Okay,” she finally relented. “I won’t go anywhere yet, but you have to make me a deal first.”

“If it keeps your cute butt in this bed, name it,” Arizona grinned.

Callie found herself returning the gesture. “You’ve gotta let me check on your leg. I’m assuming the nurses haven’t been in because I would’ve been kicked out hours ago, so it’s basically gone un-checked since you were moved back here. And after last night...”

She hesitated, watching Arizona immediately look away. “I just need to check and make sure everything’s okay.”

Arizona squirmed in place and refused to make eye contact, eventually giving another light tug on Callie’s scrubs. “Okay. Check away, doc.”

Callie slowly took the blonde’s hands and extracted them from her shirt, squeezing reassuringly before setting them down. She waited to make sure it was okay for her to get up, remembering quite vividly the way Arizona had reacted last time she tried. Arizona simply nodded that she was okay to continue and Callie finally lifted herself off of the bed.

As she moved, careful to avoid jostling the injured leg, her scrub top dipped open and exposed Arizona to a very vivid image. Her eyes seemed glued to the brief flash of cleavage and a sudden lump formed in the back of her throat. The ache in her leg was momentarily quelled.

Black, lacy, sexy bras looked good on Dr. Torres. Even better was what the material was barely hiding underneath. It’s not like she meant to stare, it’s just that _they_ were staring at _her_. Arizona couldn’t help it.

She swallowed thickly as Callie eased off of the bed and briefly closed her eyes. She was too high to feel horny, but she had been stuck in the desert on and off for the last three years, surrounded by men and her very straight best friend. It had been a while.

Clearing her throat awkwardly, Arizona pushed up into more of a sitting position, groaning with discomfort. Her right side gave a sharp ache of protest and she placed a hand over the healing injury. She’d really done a number on herself last night. She didn’t remember much detail other than she’d had a pretty major freak out in front of Callie.

She groaned under her breath and dropped her head back against the pillow. _Fuck._

Callie pulled the corner of the sheets up and exposed her patient's leg. First inspections showed no blood staining from any ripped stitches. “This might hurt a little. Just take it easy for a minute and let me do my thing.”

Arizona nodded silently and breathed in as deeply as she could. She didn’t know what to say about last night or if she was even supposed to acknowledge that it had happened. Waking up with Callie next to her was perfect and she loved it more than she would’ve liked to admit, but how and why they were there was absolutely humiliating.

Brief images from her flashback and how real it felt made Arizona sweat. She tried not to let it show how much she wished Callie was still lying next to her, since it seemed to be the only way she could stop herself from panicking again. Swallowing hard, she took in a shaky breath and gradually released it, involuntarily tensing up as her leg gave another resonating throb. She tried to focus on what the other surgeon was doing so her fuzzy mind didn’t go back to that place.

Callie spent a few minutes inspecting the dressings, manipulating the limb ever so slightly and checking for any kind of abnormal swelling or other signs of distress. It definitely wasn’t pretty, that was for sure, but there was no damage outside of what she’d expected post-op.

After a minute or so she sighed with relief. Glancing up at the blonde’s guarded expression, she made a vow not to bring her panic attack up. She knew Arizona would probably feel embarrassed, even though she shouldn’t, and Callie didn’t want to make her feel awkward. Honestly, she just was thankful she’d been there, even if Arizona found herself wishing otherwise. She was thankful that she’d been able to help ground the terrified woman and she was thankful that Arizona had _demanded_ she stay with her all night. When no one else was in the trauma surgeon’s corner, Callie was more than happy to fight for her.

“It’s looking great, Arizona. They’ll probably come in to hook up the CPM machine later tonight to give your knee a little work out. The incisions looks fine, the swelling isn’t too terrible and just like I promised, I rocked it.”

Arizona released a sigh of relief and nodded. “Did you...I mean, with the muscle – did you have to cut out a lot?”

“Some, but I was able to minimize the damage,” Callie replied. “We were in there an extra hour just to make sure we took care of everything and kept it in relatively decent shape.” She looked up and grinned crookedly. “You have great legs, I wanted to keep them that way.”

Arizona blushed. “So I’ll be okay, then? I can still, y’know, walk? Maybe run a little? I won’t have a chunk of missing limb that’ll keep me out of a bikini for the rest of my life?”

Callie had to fight the urge to daydream about Arizona in a bikini as soon as the words left her mouth. “We’ll have to see what happens once you start physical therapy. You’ll have scars and there is an area where the muscle reduction will be visible. With strengthening and conditioning, once all is said and done – and if you _listen_ to what the physical therapist and I tell you to do – then yes, I think it’s safe to bet my scalpel that you’ll walk again.”

Perhaps with any other patient she would’ve been a little more wary about making such a grand statement, but with Arizona she knew her well enough by now – this woman would stop at nothing until she got what she wanted. If she wanted to walk again, she’d do it, no questions asked.

Arizona released a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “Thank you,” she whispered in a hoarse voice. She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “I mean it, thank you, Calliope. You saved my life.”

“No, I fixed your leg. Teddy saved your life.”

“I may be alive, but I couldn’t live like I was before you came along. You saved me just as much as she did.”

It was Callie’s turn to blush. “I’m glad that I could help you. That I met you.”

“I’m glad I met you, too.” They shared an intense, lingering stare, until a sudden shot of pain up Arizona’s leg made her jerk in surprise and ruin the moment.

Callie frowned and glanced up to the almost empty IV bag. “You need a refill.”

“Don’t,” Arizona quickly called out before Callie could press the nurse’s call button. “Just...I’ll be okay for a little bit longer. Don’t go.” She knew the second someone else walked through that door, the spell would be broken and they would have to go back to the way things were.

Callie hesitated, swaying between her worry for her patient’s pain level and listening to a friend's earnest request.

“C’mere,” Arizona said, lightly patting the blanket next to her. “I could use another cat nap and I don’t want you to go just yet.”

Callie bit her lip uncertainly. She searched for answers to her unasked questions, able to easily read the stress and exhaustion from the previous night in the blonde’s face. She had a feeling that wasn’t the first time Arizona had had a night terror, either.

“Do you want to talk about what happened?”

Arizona immediately shook her head. “No. I just want to sleep and I don’t want to have to worry about anything.” She was embarrassed to admit it, but without Callie there she was paranoid something else might happen.

Callie hesitated, knowing that it was very, very wrong of her to be climbing into bed with a patient, even if technically nothing was happening between them. Arizona was far from just a normal everyday case, but she was still a patient none the less.

Yet there was something pulling her towards the bed; something strong enough for her to put aside the ethical issues that came with growing closer to a patient. She tried to chalk it up to being a pushover when it came to pretty girls, but she knew it was more than that. She felt a connection with Arizona that was different from what she’d had with Erica – or George or Mark, for that matter. They might not have known each other for very long, but she’d quickly grown comfortable in Arizona’s company. Arizona made it easy for Callie to be herself without making her feel like she had to apologize for who she was. It had been a long time since she had felt like that and maybe that was why she was willing to take the risk, knowing those kinds of feelings didn’t come along very often.

“Okay.” Callie finally shook her head and failed to hide a smile. “Just another twenty minutes or so, then you need drugs and I need a shower.”

Arizona grinned as the woman climbed back into bed, waiting until she was settled before shifting closer. “You smell just fine to me,” she teased.

Callie snorted and rolled her eyes, settling on her back. “You know I’m breaking like, fifty rules by being here with you, right?”

“I don’t really care, Calliope. I’m not gonna tell.” Arizona snuggled in and rested her head against Callie’s shoulder. She could feel her own heart pounding away in her chest, making it hard to lie still and relax.

“We can chalk it up to my excellent bedside manner.” Callie closed her eyes and released a sigh. “I have awesome bedside manner.”

“Totally awesome,” Arizona agreed with a tired chuckle.

As Callie took in a deep breath, allowing Arizona to take over every one of her senses, she immediately felt the effects of her own exhaustion hit like a ton of bricks. She hadn’t been sleeping well the last few months. She was used to having a warm body in bed next to her – again, George, Mark, Erica. They’d been a steady string of disappointments in her life, disappointments that left her feeling cold and alone.

There was just something about having Arizona curled up close like this that gave her enough comfort to peacefully drift off for the first time since Erica left. She felt content and for once was able to forget about the rest of the crap in her life. It had been such a long time since that had happened.

Callie might have been there to keep Arizona grounded and safe, but Arizona was proving to be just as therapeutic to her and she didn’t even know it.

***

Arizona felt Callie’s breathing begin to even out, signaling her impending slumber. As tired as she was, she spent a little time just enjoying the company in a comfortable silence.

If she was honest with herself, she hadn’t felt this way lying next to someone in a long time. She hadn’t felt safe or content or normal or pretty much anything other than angry since her brother died and her life had been completely ripped apart. Even before things got bad, she couldn't remember feeling this way about a girl. It was a nice change.

  Ignoring the urge to sleep, Arizona contented herself with snuggling in close and watching Callie’s chest rise and fall with each breath. It was calming and she found herself falling into the same rhythm, remembering clearly how it had kept her going the night before, when she’d been so sure she was drowning. This woman had saved her life in a completely unexpected way, as embarrassing as that was. She was grateful.

Just as Arizona closed her eyes, a distant rumbling made them pop open again. They flickered down to the brunette’s stomach, wondering for a moment if she was imagining things or if there was another storm outside.

  Callie’s stomach gurgled again and for some reason it instantly sent Arizona into a fit of giggles. She was on drugs, exhausted, and for some reason deliriously happy. The combination of those three created the same effect – laughter.  

It actually kind of hurt but she couldn’t help herself. She tried to stifle the noise and keep from waking the sleeping beauty next to her, except the shaking bed took care of that instead. Callie groaned quietly and shifted in place, frowning in her half-asleep daze. Her stomach gave another powerful rumble, which only served to make Arizona snicker harder and louder.

  Brown eyes peeked open to glare and Arizona covered her mouth with a hand. “I’m sorry,” she wheezed, failing miserably to hide her amusement. 

Callie’s glassy stare deepened and she narrowed her eyes further. “What exactly is so funny?” she muttered, lifting a brow just as her stomach made its presence known yet again.

  Arizona descended further into her fit of giggles and turned her face into the pillow when she couldn’t seem to stop.  

This was some kind of strong pain killer, all right. 

Callie scowled, though a playfulness shone through her gaze. “Excuse me? _Someone_ refused to let me bring breakfast in yesterday. And then _I_ performed a nine hour surgery on _your_ leg, after which I came back and stayed with you all night.”

Callie’s indignation only seemed to amuse Arizona further, causing her laughter to swell.

“I’m _hungry!_ Stop laughing, you jerk!” she whined.

Arizona eventually managed to bring herself under control, though her cheeks were flushed. “What if – what if I told you I think it’s cute?” She flashed that famously dimpled grin of hers, wiping away tears from her eyes.  

Callie simply glowered.

  “ _And_ that Teddy may have brought you a bagel and coffee earlier, and you were so unconscious that you were drooling on my shoulder?”

  “What?” Callie abruptly sat up.

  “There may also have been some light snoring.”  

“Ugh! I hate you.” Blushing furiously, Callie threw her legs over the side of the bed.  

Before she could escape, however, Arizona leaned over and snagged her around the waist with her left arm, keeping her from jumping off. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she giggled again, resting her forehead against the small of Callie’s back. “But there really is food and luke-warm coffee over by the door, I promise.”

“Cold coffee? Gee, thanks,” Callie muttered sarcastically, trying not to think about how nice Arizona felt this close.

“Luke-warm, Calliope, and a bagel. Probably with strawberry cream cheese. I bet it’s _super_ yummy.”

Callie groaned under her breath and cracked her neck to the side. “Fine, but I’m eating it over there. The last time I brought solid food near you, you stole it from me. You’re not getting any of my breakfast.”

Sighing dramatically, Arizona rolled her eyes. “Okay, okay. I won’t beg for food like the homeless woman that I am. I’ll just sit here and watch you eat, all jealous and cranky.” In reality, food was the last thing on her mind. She wouldn’t be able to eat much for another day or so. It was just fun to verbally spare whenever they got the chance – Callie was cute when she was frustrated.

Smirking, the orthopedic surgeon reluctantly dislodged Arizona’s arm from around her waist and launched off of the bed. With a happy sigh of approval, she scampered over to the much-needed snack that awaited her. She shot Arizona another look before picking up the bag and unfolding the top, peering down inside to see what was in it. Callie lifted her eyes and squinted in the other woman’s direction, tightening her lips as if pondering what her next move should be.

Arizona shook her head, snorting. “It’s not a freaking microsurgery, just eat the damn bagel.”

As Callie dug in, Arizona shifted on the bed and groaned at the throb that shot up her leg. She knew that it wasn’t hurting nearly as badly as it would be later, especially since she’d been all ‘cut me open and do more than you need to’ about it. It seemed like a good idea at the time, although now she was beginning to regret that decision.  

Arizona pushed the ‘up’ button on the bed remote, raising herself into more of a sitting position. She leaned forward, another sharp ache resonating in her lower abdomen, undoubtedly caused by her thrashing the night before. It felt like she’d gone eight rounds with Mike Tyson – and she’d been unconscious since the third.

Peering down at her swollen leg again now that she was more awake, Arizona grimaced and poked at it. The lack of a cast was nice because those things were seriously gross even after just a few days. At least if it got itchy she could scratch it. She tried to wiggle her toes again and succeeded in twitching them – that was progress. It had been hard to do before she’d started treatment with Callie. 

“It’s a little rough around the edges,” she called over to the brunette, “but as long as it works, I’m happy.” She flashed her another one of those playful smiles of hers. “Thanks, doc. How will I ever repay you?” She definitely had a few ideas in mind and every single one of them involved Callie back in this bed with her. 

Callie laughed. “I could think of a few ways.”

“Like what?”

“Like replacing that milkshake you stole from me last week.”

“Hey,” Arizona pouted. “That wasn’t my fault. You left it here, right by my bed and I didn’t even know if you were coming back. It would have just gone to waste, and a wasting milkshake is a _crime_ where I come from.”

“Oh really? That’s your excuse for being a mooch?”

“We’ve had this discussion before. I’m the hot Marine with a busted leg who just had a _lot_ of surgeries in recent months, all crammed together. I can’t be held accountable for my actions.” Arizona grimaced and dug her fingers into her thigh, though predictably it did nothing to soothe the sharp ache in her calf.

“Hot Marine, huh? Someone’s a little full of themselves.” Callie arched a pointed brow.

Arizona grinned. “Just finish your bagel, and maybe-possibly get me a fresh IV?” She rubbed her leg again, wincing some more. It was really starting to hurt.

“Then join me for another nap?” She glanced up a bit tentatively, watching for Callie’s reaction.

Callie paused and took a deep breath. As much as she hated to admit it, and as much as everything part of mind and body were screaming at her to lie back down, she knew they had pushed things way too far already. Arizona was her patient and she was her surgeon, that had to be the extend of their relationship. If they pushed it too far, at least while she was still in the hospital, it would only lead to disaster.

Callie looked at the floor before finally meeting Arizona’s beautiful blue eyes.  “Look, Arizona...I-I really want nothing more than to climb in there with you and fall asleep again. You’re wonderful, and beautiful, and _so_ many other hundreds of things, but the fact is – you’re my patient. A patient that just had major surgery, and I can’t – I shouldn’t get any more attached than I already am.”

Arizona’s face fell, so Callie rushed on.

“In however many weeks, you’re gonna be out of here and onto your new life full of parks and marathons and pretty girls that you can sweep off their feet.” Callie licked her lips nervously. “It was nice, the napping, but I think it needs to stop. I’m sorry, believe me, I’m _so_ sorry, but we both knew this would happen eventually. And if a nurse had caught us, or heaven forbid the _Chief_ , I-I could be fired. I mean, it’s not just that, it’s – I’m not –”

Her shoulders sagged. She had never been good with words. “Arizona, I’m sorry. Please believe that.” 

Arizona’s previously cheerful demeanor had faded long before Callie finished talking. She kept her expression carefully neutral. “I know. Of course we shouldn’t...yeah.” Her heart tightened in her chest but she forced herself to look away and stare hard at the opposite wall rather than into Callie’s pitying gaze. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

  Callie sighed. She had been afraid – terrified, even – of hitting Arizona’s ‘reset’ button by saying it, but it had to be done. Dammit. “Arizona, you didn’t make me uncomfortable. I–” 

“It’s fine,” Arizona cut her off, slumping back in bed, never moving her eyes from the spot they were trained on. “Besides, you’ve got patients other than me. You should probably just go do your job.”

Her leg gave another fresh, painful ache that shot up from her calf, through her knee, up into the rest of her body. She closed her eyes and took in a shallow breath. “Just...just go, okay? It won’t happen again.” She rubbed a hand along her upper thigh, the only part of her leg she could touch without wanting to scream. She was desperate to try and ease some of the pain.

Crap. Callie backpedaled in a hurry. “That’s not how I meant it. I’m not going anywhere and we don’t have to change. The lunches and the movies and the burgers, all of that is great. We just...we can’t fall into each other again. I-I know it was because – and you were–” She balked at mentioning the nightmare again. “We just can’t. Because you’ll be gone in a few weeks and I won’t ever hear from you again.”

Callie’s heart just about stopped in her chest. She could see she was losing the blonde right before her very eyes and suddenly found herself wishing she’d just kept her mouth shut, right-thing-to-do be damned. “Arizona, please – that look you’re giving me right now? Or _not_ giving me? That’s the look I wanted to avoid.”

Arizona’s nostrils flared as she exhaled sharply, turning her head and focusing intently on the surgeon. “I’m just your science experiment, remember?” she shot back in an icy tone, feeling hurt and on the defensive. “You don’t know the first thing about what I would or wouldn’t do.”

“I didn’t mean–”

She cut Callie off again. “But you know what? You’re right, you’re my doctor and I’m your patient, that’s it. So, _Dr._ Torres, would you please leave and have a nurse come by to change my IV?”

Arizona’s words stung – Callie hadn’t heard her speak with that much venom in her voice before. “Arizona, please. This isn’t what I wanted, I’m not–”

“No. Just get out, Callie. Now.” Arizona was furious, humiliated, upset and in a lot of pain. She needed to be alone before she completely lost it again.

“Yeah, okay,” Callie reluctantly agreed, the fight draining from her bones. “I’m sorry for disturbing you.” Her heart sank in her chest and she fought the urge to cry in frustration. She wasn’t a crier but she’d already done it once over this woman and now she felt like doing it again.

Callie hated the bitter look on Arizona’s face more than anything else, especially since she’d spent the entire night holding her close, keeping her grounded, making sure she was safe. She just couldn’t handle getting fucked over again. Not after Erica, not this soon.

The blood pounded in Arizona’s ears and she looked away from the brunette. Her leg hurt, her feelings hurt and she felt like the biggest jackass on the planet. For just one single moment, she had actually thought that Callie might be... _someone_ to her. She had never, ever let anyone hold her like she had the night before. She’d never needed a lifeline like that, someone to keep her grounded, sane and alive.

  But of course she was wrong, she always was. And that was exactly why she wasn’t going to let it happen again. 

As Callie left, Arizona closed her eyes and leaned forward, digging her fingers harder into her leg. The sudden upwelling of pain wasn’t helping her mood at all when it came to feeling like she’d just been rejected. It did, however, help distract her from a totally different kind of pain lodged in the center of her chest.

Arizona growled desperately under her breath and hammered her thumb down against the ‘call’ button on the bedside remote. If the nurse didn’t change out her IV drip soon, she was going to lose it.


	9. Chapter 9

_March 27th, 2009_

 

Callie barely saw or spoke to Arizona for an entire week. She had a resident check on her progress for the first twenty-four hours following the surgery and their subsequent ‘fight’, then pulled it together and did a post-op examination herself. A nurse was present the whole time fixing IV lines and Arizona had barely looked at her, answering questions with short sentences or single words.

Lunch times were the loneliest. On this particular day Callie found herself in the cafeteria, slumped forward with an elbow resting on the table and chin in her palm. She poked idly at the fake mashed potatoes on her plate and resisted the urge to do a face-plant out of pure despair.

“You look like someone just killed your puppy.”

The only thing that moved were Callie’s eyes as she glanced listlessly up at Mark, watching him munch on an apple from across the table. “I don’t have a puppy.”

“If you did, you would think someone just ran it over with a bus and wrapped its remains in Christmas paper.” He chewed thoughtfully, twirling the fruit between his fingers. “What’s up? Blondie still not talking to you?”

Callie growled under her breath and stabbed the fork into her meal, pushing the tray away in defeat. She wasn’t hungry.

“You know you could just suck it up and go see her, right?” Mark pointed out, watching carefully for a reaction. “She _is_ your patient. She kind of has to deal with it and let you talk to her. Besides, since when have you ever taken crap from a patient before?”

Callie hadn’t exactly told Mark about Arizona’s panic attack or the lying-in-bed-together thing. She figured that was private, between them only. But she had told him she’d mentioned toning things down a little, and that Arizona had gotten pissed and was now refusing to acknowledge her existence. It was true enough.

“I’m not taking crap from her, I’m just – leave it, Sloan,” she mumbled, reaching across the table and stealing a carrot stick from his plate.

Mark leaned forward and rested both forearms on the table. “Look, you just finished moping around over Hahn. All I know is that somehow, Blondie managed to make you smile again. You were actually happy for a few weeks and now? Jesus, she wasn’t even your girlfriend and you’re already acting like she broke your heart. You know what that says to me?”

“That I’m pathetic?” Callie looked up with sad eyes.

Mark chuckled and reached for her hand. “No, it says to me that you care a lot about her and I’m guessing she feels the same way. Just talk to her so I can stop wondering what I’ve gotta do to get back the Callie Torres I miss. The one who breaks bones for a living and doesn’t give a crap what anyone says.”

Callie found herself smiling at his description, though it didn’t last very long. “Mark, I have feelings for a patient. Do you not remember the whole Denny DeQuette thing? Webber would have my ass and Bailey would skin me alive if she found out. It’s probably better if I just leave things the way they are. I can avoid her for another few weeks until she’s discharged and then I can move on with my life. I don’t really have a choice here.”

Mark frowned, not believing a word of it. “And then what? You’ll stay sad and lonely and spend your nights drinking your sorrows away with me? That’s not a solution.”

Callie sighed heavily. “I’ll be fine,” she said quietly, forcing out a smile for his sake and covering his hand with her own. “But thanks for caring. You’re a good guy, Mark. Little Grey is lucky to have you.”

He watched her get up and leave the cafeteria, his frown deepening. No matter what she tried to say, he didn’t believe for a second that ‘fine’ would be nearly good enough.

***

Arizona couldn’t focus on the television. It was on, there was noise coming from that direction, but even if she tried she couldn’t absorb the storyline or tell someone what was airing.

She could barely sit still, constantly shifting around and hissing through her teeth as her leg attempted to remove itself from her body. Lighting it on fire would have been more fun. Everything from the knee down hurt like hell – and that was an understatement of epic proportions.

A fine layer of perspiration broke out as she struggled to keep her breathing under control, blinking sweat from her eyes and sagging back against the pillows. Despite recommendations for a higher dosage of morphine, Arizona had flat-out refused all week. No matter how bad it was she didn’t want to end up too reliant on painkillers, especially once she was ready to leave the hospital. The lower dose prescribed instead helped but it definitely still hurt. It hurt a _lot_.

She’d known going in that she was setting herself up for a world of pain, so she shouldn’t really have been caught so off-guard. Somehow that thought failed to be even remotely comforting, especially as her desperation for any sort of relief began to grow.

Another wave rolled through and she slammed her eyes shut, growling in defiance. She’d been in pain before and pulled her way through it, though apparently the second – third, fourth, fifth? – time around wasn’t any easier than the first. Her sheets and hospital gown were drenched in sweat by now; she felt disgusting just lying in them. She would have killed for a shower, even though there was zero possibility of that happening in her condition.

Fighting back a desperate whimper, Arizona hunched forward again and pushed against her upper thigh, digging her fingers into the muscle and kneading as though it would somehow transfer to her calf. In an hour the physical therapist would be there to try and get her out of bed for the first time in weeks and she didn’t think she could handle it. Breathing exercises were about as useful as a fire extinguisher in hell.

“God, are you okay?” Teddy rushed into the room at that moment, dumping her half-full cup of coffee in the garbage can and reaching out for the blonde’s hand.

Arizona’s eyes popped open and she jerked away from her best friend’s grasp. “I’m fine, okay?” She hissed again and pulled on the trapeze hanging above the bed to readjust herself. “What do you want?”

Teddy pursed her lips. She knew Arizona; she knew her better than she knew her own sister back home. Attitude usually came along with vulnerability. “I know you’re in pain, it’s written all over your face. So stop being a jerk and let me help you.”

Arizona took a deep breath, attempting to center herself. She needed something else to focus on, some kind of distraction. “I am not being a jerk.”

“Yeah, you kinda are. You tend to do that when you’re hurting.”

“ _You_ try getting blown up, have someone break your leg, build you a new freaking knee and shred your calf muscle into nothing – _then_ you can tell me how to behave,” Arizona snapped. She dropped her head forward and swore under her breath, a single, frustrated tear escaping down her right cheek. This was by far the worst she’d felt all week.

Teddy refused to be put off by Arizona’s defensiveness. “Look, I know the pain is bad but you’ve been through worse. And I know you’d feel better if you would just talk to Torres already.”

She reached for Arizona’s hand a second time and kept a firm hold when the blonde tried to wrench it back again. She wasn’t going to let her get away with this self-pitying crap and she wasn’t going to let her pull away again, not like the last time she suffered a loss.

Teddy locked eyes with her best friend, returning the intense glare Arizona was attempting to scare her off with. She watched as the patient closed her eyes and straightened her back, taking in a shallow, forced breath. Teddy gave her hand a firm squeeze, waiting it out, knowing there wasn’t much else she could do for her.

“It hurts,” Arizona whispered through a clenched jaw.

“I know,” Teddy empathized, finally feeling the other woman give in and grip tightly to her hand.

“I don’t want to talk about Calliope,” Arizona added, taking another slow, deep breath and releasing it. A fresh throb welled up from the injured limb and she wanted to scream out of pure frustration.

Teddy watched her closely but didn’t say anything.

“She made it perfectly clear that we’re not – which is just fine, so I’m focusing on not losing my mind right now, okay?” Arizona forced her eyes opened and looked sideways at the other blonde, not quite meeting her gaze as she released a low groan. “Sorry for snapping. I’m sweaty, gross and really freaking uncomfortable right now.”

Teddy chuckled and rubbed her other hand along Arizona’s back. “You want me to see if they can up your dosage?”

Arizona shook her head firmly, remembering the withdrawal symptoms all too well from the previous times she’d been doped up. “No. I’m fine, really. It just hurts.” She grimaced again and pushed her fingers into her upper leg muscles. It really didn’t help much but she needed to try something.

“For some reason they think it’s a good idea for me to get out of bed today, except I’m not too keen on the idea myself. The stupid physical therapist will be here in an hour.” Arizona was _not_ looking forward to that whole ordeal. It was already pretty obvious it would end badly. “I don’t suppose you can smuggle me out of here before he arrives?” The first hint of a real smile crossed her lips. “Maybe get me to a shower with a chair? Or one of those automatic car washes? I feel disgusting right now.”

“Pretty sure I’d get fired for that, sorry. But I _could_ go get Callie,” Teddy said carefully. She knew once Arizona made up her mind there was usually no changing it – unless there was a woman involved. The only reason she was being this stubborn about the whole thing was because she really liked Callie. Teddy couldn’t be fooled.

“Call me crazy but you seemed less miserable when she was in the room,” she added after a beat of silence, giving Arizona a knowing look.

Arizona whimpered and drew her free hand into a tight fist around the bed sheets, her whole arm shaking with tension. She remained mute on the subject.

“Why won’t you just let yourself be happy?” Teddy asked, exasperated. With nothing to distract her from the pain of the surgery and her fight with Dr. Torres, Arizona was making everything harder than it needed to be. She’d been doing it all week and it was getting harder for Teddy to watch.

“She was good at that, huh? Making me less of a cranky-jerkface,” Arizona admitted after a long moment passed. She only had to picture Callie’s amazing grin for her heart to skip a beat.

“It’s been years since I’ve seen your eyes light up like that. You haven’t been happy in a really long time, Arizona,” Teddy pointed out lightly, watching her squirm and knowing the truth probably stung. Arizona hadn’t dealt with losing her brother or the traumatic experience she’d gone through almost four months ago in the Middle East. She’d chosen to bottle it all up and bury it instead, and Teddy knew it was only a matter of time before it all bubbled to the surface.

If there was any chance of seeing her best friend – her _real_ best friend – again, Teddy would push as hard as she needed to get that person back.

Arizona was still trying to convince herself that Callie was the one who pushed her away, however. Deep down, she knew she was the one keeping things that way, but the second Callie expressed a bit of uncertainty, she had pulled back before she could get hurt.

Having seen her meltdown post-op, Arizona couldn’t really blame Callie if that was the case. She knew she was damaged goods and Callie didn’t need a woman with baggage in her life.

She looked up and met Teddy’s concerned gaze, forcing out a weak smile for her sake. “Thanks, really. But I don’t need her here for this. She’s got other patients and stuff, I can handle it on my own.”

Teddy refrained from smacking Arizona upside the head – just barely. “Do you want me to stay with you?”

Arizona shook her head. “Nah. I’m gonna try and do some breathing exercises or something, see if it’ll help me relax before the physical therapist gets here.”

Adjusting herself with help of the trapeze again, she did her best to look even slightly uplifted for Teddy’s sake. “You go, cut open hearts and save lives. Rock a wicked trauma in my honor.” She grinned and this time it reached her eyes, if only a little.

Teddy still looked skeptical, but she nodded after a moment and reluctantly stood up. “Don’t be stubborn. If you need help, page the nurses and they can see about getting your medication bumped up. Even if it makes you a drooling zombie, at least you’ll be able to get some sleep.”

Arizona chuckled. “Right, because a drooling zombie that hasn’t showered in a week and is lying in sweaty bed sheets, that will be attractive enough to make Callie second guess herself. No thanks.”

“You never know, some girls might like that sort of thing.”

“Ew,” Arizona laughed, making a face and tossing a pillow at her friend. “Just leave what ladies like to me, okay? Now get out of here.”

Teddy laughed and easily dodged the projectile, throwing it back. While she wasn’t normally the kind of person to meddle, even when it came to Arizona, she knew the two women were being stupid. They cared about each other, anyone with eyes and a brain could see that. They were both just so damn stubborn – it made them kind of perfect for each other.

Talking sense into Arizona and changing her mind might work in the long run, but Teddy knew it would take the blonde a while to get over her bruised ego and do something about it. That meant Callie had to make the first move.

Cursing her pager as it went off seconds later, Teddy could only hope whatever it was wouldn’t keep her from finding Torres in time.

***

The one time Callie wanted the ER to be chaotic, it was dead quiet.

Yes, quiet. She was actually trying to jinx things just so she had something to keep herself busy and her mind off of a certain someone.

She felt like an idiot; she’d never acted this pathetic over anyone she’d ever dated before – guy or girl – and she and Arizona were nothing more than friends. It was weird and uncomfortable, and all she wanted to do was curl into a ball and eat ice cream until she forgot everything. Which she was pretty sure bumped her down a few more notches on the pathetic scale.

Tapping her pen against the desk, Callie looked up and saw Teddy Altman headed her way. The woman seemed nice, they’d had a few conversations since her arrival and subsequent hiring as the new Head of Cardio, but not much else. Ortho and cardio didn’t consult very often so they never really shared any cases.

Callie straightened in her chair and smiled when Teddy arrived at the desk. “Hey. You’re not likely to find anything interesting down here, just a few scrapes and lacerations the interns are stitching up. Not so much as a broken wrist for me to set. It kinda sucks.”

“I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t come down here looking for something to cut open then, huh?” Teddy studied the brunette, noting how apathetic she appeared to be. It only reaffirmed her beliefs that if she didn’t meddle, these two morons would never figure things out for themselves.

“I came by to talk to you about something else, actually.”

Callie’s brow rose slightly.

Teddy knew there was no point in beating around the bush. She’d never been very good at the whole ‘subtle’ thing. “Someone else,” she amended.

“Hm.” Callie swiveled back and forth in her chair, eyeballing Teddy suspiciously. “Someone’s name doesn’t start with an ‘A’, does it?”

Teddy gave a weak shrug in return. “I’m not here under any false pretenses. I know you and Arizona aren’t talking and I think you’re both being stupid.”

“Look, I don’t know what she’s–”

Teddy cut her off before she got the run-around. “I get it, it’s not my place to interfere. I just thought I’d stop by and give you a friendly heads up – Arizona misses having you around, even if she’s too much of a stubborn idiot to say so.”

“We’re not – it’s complicated,” Callie protested, squirming in place and playing with the pen in her hand. “I’m her doctor. And she’s...amazing – _really_ amazing – but once she gets out of here, she’s never going to want to come back. She’ll be able to walk and run and do all the things she did before I fumbled into her room a few weeks ago like a total moron.”

She distinctly remembered tripping and babbling on like a freak. It was a wonder they’d got as far as they did without Arizona laughing in her face.

Teddy shook her head. “You swooped in and gave her a chance at getting her life back. You made her smile and forget about all of the terrible crap that’s happened over the years. You’re her knight in shining scrubs, or whatever. I’d hardly consider that fumbling, Dr. Torres.”

Callie immediately smiled, then tried to hide it.

Teddy went straight to the point. “Look, I just thought you should know that her physical therapist is about to get her out of bed for the first time in weeks. She’s in a lot of pain and terrified at the prospect of standing for longer than a wheelchair trip to the bathroom. I thought you might want to be there.” Drumming her fingers along the desk, she turned away.

“Wait,” Callie called out, stopping her in her tracks. “I don’t know if I should – does she want me there? Because the last time I tried to talk to her she told me to get out and since then she’s barely even looked at me.”

Teddy sighed. “That defensive thing she does? It means she cares more than she wants to. And yes, I happen to know for a fact that she wants you there. Trust me, I can read her better than anyone. She misses you and you’re the only one that seems to be helping her get through this whole ordeal.”

Callie hated that Arizona was hurting so badly and she hated even more that the pain Teddy was referring to was probably just as emotional as it was physical. Biting her bottom lip, she glanced at the clock on the wall. “When is her physical therapy starting?”

“She said an hour, and that was–” Teddy checked her watch and frowned. “About an hour ago. So if you want to get there in time, I suggest you hurry.” She left the ER without another word, knowing it was only a matter of time before the brunette did the same.

Callie spent a few seconds debating whether or not to go up and be there for the appointment. She knew without a doubt that she _wanted_ to, but Arizona had made it perfectly clear that she didn’t want her around anymore. Then again, she’d made a lot of things perfectly clear only a few hours before their fight, when she’d held onto Callie as though her life depended on it. Callie could still feel the terrified woman shaking in her arms when she thought back to that moment. It made her shiver – she would never, ever forget the haunted look she’d seen in those beautiful eyes that night.

After going back and forth for a solid minute and a half, Callie decided that it didn’t matter anymore – the fight or the ethics behind it. She needed to help. Arizona was in pain, probably terrified, and she was about to take a big step – literally – in the direction that could either mean she’d walked again or her hopes would be crushed. Callie needed to be there to support her and show her how proud she was, or to pick up the pieces when things didn’t go quite as planned.

She glanced around the ER for an available resident to take her spot. “Grey! I need you to man the desk for a little while, they need me upstairs.” She waited for Meredith’s acknowledgement before pushing off of the counter, twirling her chair around, and jogging towards the nearest stairwell.

***

Arizona felt a ball of molten rock churn in her stomach the moment the physical therapist walked through the door. He was a relatively nice guy and she’d worked with him for the last few days keeping her knee mobile while in bed, but now he wanted to take it up a notch in the healing process and she wasn’t sure she was ready for it.

They spent a few minutes working and stretching the joint as she struggled to do the required movements by herself. It was hard, though she did manage a few minor things without passing out from the effort. Even though her knee was progressing, his hands compressing her calf muscle burned despite the light touch. The fracture points where her leg had been broken were still weak and her muscle was severely inflamed where a large portion had been cut out, so she wouldn’t be putting any weight on the limb for quite a while. She had to re-learn how to move on crutches first. It was hard enough shifting over when she was lying in bed, so the prospect of getting up entirely was terrifying.

When it came time to sit over the edge of the bed and prepare to stand, she was sore, sweaty and exhausted all over again. The nurse that was helping out stood on one side while the PT stood on the other, slowly coaxing her to ease off and hold onto them both. The nurse looked bored and was more interested in chewing bubble gum than paying attention. The smell of fruity pink candy made Arizona feel ill.

Initially she thought that her left leg would be fine and she wouldn’t have too much trouble standing on it. Instead, she found that weeks of lying in bed and not moving at all had left her good muscles dramatically weakened. The second she put her full weight onto her stable leg, it threatened to buckle.

She accepted the crutch the physical therapist settled against her left side, leaning her weight against it. Even her arms were substantially more jello-like than she would have liked to admit.

This _sucked_.

A bead of sweat rolled down her forehead as her arm shook against the crutch. The nurse on her right was doing a piss-poor job of supporting her and Arizona would have preferred if she just buggered off all together. She missed Ann, who was usually the one helping out during her physical therapy sessions. Unfortunately she was on vacation for a week.

“I can’t,” she gasped, quivering with the effort of remaining upright.

“Yes, you can, you’re doing great,” the physical therapist replied, nodding in encouragement. He stepped back a few paces and beckoned her forward. “Using Angela for balance on your weaker side, I want you to try and move forward, putting weight on your left leg only. Try to keep your right knee bent forward as you go, okay?”

Arizona groaned to herself and wobbled in place as she moved the crutch over a few inches. Once again, the girl on her right just stood there holding weakly onto her shoulder and Arizona debated taking out her legs with a sweep of the crutch. She was in pain and wanted to cry; and when she wanted to cry, she got angry and sometimes lashed out. The person nearest to her was usually the easiest target, especially when they were being stupid.

“I can’t,” she repeated, her left arm just about giving out as it clung to the metal support. She couldn’t believe how much damage just a few weeks in bed had done to her muscular strength. Realistically it was a few months, given that it had been the Christmas season when she was injured.

Before this, Arizona had prided herself on keeping in great physical condition. Now she felt like a giant wet noodle. Factoring in her time in Germany and the hospital stay in both countries, she supposed she shouldn’t have been all that surprised. She hadn’t done much more than lie around in close to four months now.

“Yes you can, you’ve just got to push yourself,” Jeff, the PT, urged. He remained unfazed by her pessimism. More than likely he was used to angry and frustrated patients since it came with the job territory. “The only way you can get any stronger is if you make the effort to push forward. Just a little further, then we’ll take a quick breather.”

If looks could kill, they both would be deader than dead right now. Fuck. This.

“If _someone_ would actually give me some support, seeing how my shattered leg can’t take any weight, then _maybe_ I’d be able to accomplish something,” Arizona snapped, beyond frustrated at this point and ready to kill the nurse. “Stop spouting rainbows out of your ass and give me a second.” She was pissed off, embarrassed, and wanted to crawl inside a hole and die.

“Ms. Robbins–”

“Dr. Robbins,” Arizona cut in, knowing she was being a jerk but really not caring. She wondered when this idiot was going to shut his mouth, because clearly it wasn’t going to get them anywhere. She’d had it up to here with this whole situation and just wanted everyone to leave her the fuck alone. She had never felt so useless in her entire life – whatever optimism she’d had about getting better hit rock bottom in that moment, when she realized just how far down the ladder she’d fallen.

Just as she heard him scoff and write something down on his clipboard, finally losing his patience, Callie rushed through the doorway, coming to a complete halt only a few feet away. Arizona’s heart stopped.

Callie realized she'd burst in on the session in progress as all eyes turned her way. "Sorry. I thought I'd sit in if that's okay with you, Jeff."

The physical therapist looked surprised but nodded anyway. "Of course. We were just about to get her moving."

Callie shifted her focus to the patient and met her wide blue eyes with a soft, reassuring smile. "Dr. Robbins? Is it okay if I'm here?"

Arizona swallowed back the lump in her throat and nodded once. "Yeah," she replied in a raspy voice.

Callie leaned against the wall and fell silent, not wanting to interrupt any further. She watched as her colleague tried to coax the blonde forward and fought back a wince of sympathy as she saw her struggle. Arizona's body had taken a real beat-down in the last few months and she was clearly a lot weaker than she was used to.

When a minute or so passed and Callie saw the other surgeon wobble on her good leg twice with no reaction from the nurse, she broke her own rule and interfered. "Wait."

Jeff, Angela and Arizona all stopped.

Striding forward, Callie politely but pointedly pushed her way in between the nurse and Arizona, locking an arm securely around the blonde’s waist. "The reason we have a person standing on her weaker side for this is because her muscles are weak and if she collapses, there's someone there to catch her," she instructed, trying not to loose her patience with the younger woman and stay professional. "I can take it from here."

The nurse nodded, knowing better than to argue with Dr. Torres, and backed off. Callie adjusted her hold on the blonde’s waist, taking some of the weight off her tiny frame as Arizona swallowed thickly and looked up at her with wide, blood-shot eyes.

“All right, we’re gonna try this again,” Callie coaxed softly, waiting for a timid nod of confirmation before continuing. “This time I’ll keep you steady. I won’t let you fall.”

A lump formed in Arizona’s throat and frustrated tears welled up.

“You can do this, Arizona,” Callie urged. “You’re the girl who had me do two surgeries at once. You’re the girl who saved lives that probably weren’t meant to be saved in the first place. You’re badass, and I built you this knee and fixed your leg so we could run marathons side by side. So let’s do this, okay? Together.”

Arizona let out a short breath, locking eyes with Callie and seeing nothing but support shining back at her. For just a moment the other people in the room ceased to exist and she felt herself leaning heavier into the warm embrace. She felt an unexpected rise of emotion in her chest and had to look away eventually to bring it under control.

“Hey,” Callie whispered, tugging lightly at Arizona’s waist. She saw the blonde’s lower lip tremble and reached over with her other hand to place two fingers beneath her chin, guiding the woman’s uncertain gaze back to meet hers. “I’ve got you and I won’t let you go. I promise.”

Arizona was so damn tired of fighting it. She didn’t have any arguments left in her by this point. Nodding silently, she slid her right arm behind Callie’s back and held onto her scrubs, bunching the blue fabric in a tight fist. Her other hand readjusted it’s sweaty grip on the crutch and moved it forward a few inches. Only after receiving that bright, confident smile of Callie’s did she pulled herself forward, taking one small step.

“There you go,” Callie coaxed. “Just like that. Take it easy.”

Arizona managed this a few times and although it was as excruciatingly slow and painful as she’d thought it would be, soon they were six feet further across the room than they’d started – together. She felt a rush of internal satisfaction at even the smallest success. Arizona tightened her hold on both person and crutch as she wobbled in place, leaning heavily into Callie’s side.

“See? Told you I’d make you walk again,” Callie murmured into Arizona’s ear, noticing the instant a triumphant fire began to sparkle in those blue eyes again. The kind of fire she imagined was there before Arizona had gotten hurt.

Arizona was having a terrible time holding back these damn tears. Everything was just so overwhelming – she was taking baby steps and Callie was holding onto her so tightly she never wanted to be let go. They shared meaningful glance until the physical therapist cleared his throat.

Without looking his way or breaking eye contact with Arizona, Callie simply said, “I’ll take her from here. We won’t be needing you anymore today.” She waited as he collected his things and left the room with Angela before shooting Arizona a big grin, her own excitement shining through. “You did great. You’re standing and you’re moving, that’s so awesome.”

Arizona couldn’t help it – all of the relief, frustration and pain she was feeling simultaneously burst at the seams and she started crying, laughing and hic-coughing all at once. Callie joined in with her own soft chuckles, tightening her grip around the blonde’s waist and keeping her steady. What happened next, she didn’t expect.

Arizona dropped the crutch from under her left arm, pivoted in place, and pulled Callie into a fierce hug.

She was _so_ over being mad at her. So over it.

Callie immediately wrapped both arms securely around Arizona’s rail-thin form, squeezing her tightly and nuzzling against her ear. They stood there holding each other for an indiscernible amount of time before one of them finally spoke.

“I’m sorry,” Arizona murmured, hugging the other surgeon and burying her nose into her scrubs. “For everything. For being a jerk, for pushing you away.” She hated that she was crying but just couldn’t seem to stop the tears from running her down cheeks and soaking through the material. “I’m not myself anymore. I’m so sorry.”

Callie kept both arms wrapped snugly around Arizona’s torso, holding her close. “You’re doing just fine, sweetie. You’ll get there.” She rubbed a soothing hand along her back, feeling her relax into the embrace. Callie’s own heart nearly ruptured it was pounding so hard and she was a little worried that the blonde could feel it. Even then, she wouldn’t trade this moment for anything.

“C’mon. Let me help you sit down and we’ll work on your knee a little more, okay? Just you and me.” Callie tried to pull back but Arizona didn’t let go yet.

“You smell really good,” Arizona murmured into Callie’s shoulder, laughing sheepishly. “Wish I could say the same about me right now.”

Callie grinned and found herself blushing again. Her arms squeezed around the shorter woman’s waist and she ducked her face into the side of her neck. “Don’t worry about it. You’re perfect.”


	10. Chapter 10

_April 4th, 2009_

 

This particular Friday night was one for the record books, to be filed under the category of ‘Worst Ever’.

Callie was paged into work just before midnight for a five car pile-up, which led to four back-to-back surgeries and no survivors. Two of the victims were only sixteen and just coming back from a Seahawks game. His legs had been crushed, she had cracked her head on the windshield, and there was nothing anyone could do for either of them.

Friday evenings in the fall were supposed to be fun: the end of a work week or the end of school and the beginning of the weekend. Callie was exhausted coming out of her last surgery and felt nothing but defeated and incredibly sad about the whole situation. It was such a tragic waste of life.

As she scrubbed out, all she could think about was sleep and how maybe it would take away some of the horrible memories plaguing her mind. Making her way to an empty on-call room, she rushed in, locked the door and flopped down on the bed. After thirty minutes of restless tossing and turning, she gave up any hope of achieving peace. As soon as she closed her eyes, she’d see the four dead patients on her table, then they’d snap open again and she'd be back at square one. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t shut her mind off.

Groaning, Callie twisted into a sitting position and combed her fingers through her hair. She thought about going home even though Cristina would be there, except then she’d just have to turn around and come back in a few hours anyway. She needed her own bed, somewhere she felt comfortable, but she also needed a moment of peace. She needed things to stop moving at one-hundred miles a second. Knowing she wasn’t going to get that here, she got up and left the on-call room.

Trudging through the halls of Seattle Grace, she paid little attention to where she was going until her feet stopped moving of their own accord. She looked up and wasn’t surprised to find herself in front of Arizona's room.

It had been just over a week since Callie had held Arizona steady while she took her first steps since the surgery, and after an initial awkwardness they had quickly fallen back into their friendship – or whatever the hell it was. There had been a few lunch dates, a movie night, and a lap around the hospital in a wheelchair in between Callie’s shifts. The playful and sometimes flirtatious banter made a daily appearance as she checked on her patient and made sure she wasn’t terrorizing the nurses. As much as Callie tried not to admit it, she loved being in Arizona’s company and wanted nothing more than to draw some comfort from her right now.

It was 3:57 a.m. and she seriously doubted the blonde would even be awake. Peeking through the window anyway, Callie saw her sitting up in bed, reading a book she’d brought in earlier that week. The sight of Arizona with that cute little crease in her forehead – the one she got whenever she was intensely focused on something – made her smile. It was the first genuine smile she’d made all shift.

Deciding those adorable dimples were just what she needed for a pick-me-up, Callie raised a hand and rapped lightly on the glass. She waited until Arizona flashed that dazzling smile and motioned for her to come inside before moving.

"Hey."

“Hey yourself,” Arizona said, placing a scrap of paper inside the book and setting it aside. “What are you still doing here on a Friday night at–” She checked the bedside clock. “–four in the morning? I mean, technically it’s Saturday, but it’s still late. Or early, I guess. I never really consider it ‘tomorrow’ until I’ve fallen asleep and woken up again. Though sometimes the whole ‘insomnia’ thing can throw a wrench into what I consider a normal sleeping patter–” She stopped short as soon as she noticed the strain in the other woman’s features.

“Calliope?” Arizona frowned and pushed herself into more of a sitting position. “What’s wrong?”

"Just a shitty morning, I guess,” Callie said quietly, leaning into the door frame. “Still having trouble sleeping through the night?”

Arizona shrugged. “Sometimes. My body clock gets confused when I’ve slept a lot during the day. Plus these drugs you have me on keep giving me weird dreams.”

Callie frowned, stepping further into the room. “Weird? What kind of weird?”

“Nothing like before,” Arizona clarified, knowing exactly what the other woman had to be thinking. “Just a jumbled mess of crazy things I don’t even remember once I wake up. Nothing too scary. I’ve always been kind of a night owl, anyway; I like the quiet.”

She beckoned Callie further into the room. “Have a seat.”

Callie complied, closing the door behind her and pulling the blinds on the window shut. She moved a chair around to the far side of Arizona’s bed and rested her forearms on top of the covers. "How are you liking the book?"

“It’s good,” Arizona said, glancing at the cover. “Very sad, but I like it.”

"I'm glad,” Callie replied, managing a weak yet genuine smile. “I can bring in more from that series when you’re done, if you’d like. It’ll give you something else to keep your brain busy when I can't be here to entertain you."

“Thanks,” Arizona agreed. So far Callie had been her savior with the mini-DVD player, books, and even a hand-held gaming system of some sort. Without those, she would have gone crazy a long time ago.

She tried to meet the other woman’s warm brown eyes but Callie refused to look directly at her. Arizona reached out to place a hand on her shoulder, fingers instinctively flexing. “What’s wrong?”

Callie didn’t say anything for a long moment. She didn’t want to get into it, but at the same time she couldn’t stop churning over thought after thought about the utter failure she’d been tonight. Finally, after thinking it over, she spoke.

"I lost four patients in a matter hours, all because some asshole in a semi trailer couldn’t wait until he got home before chugging back a six pack. I'm completely and totally drained.” Callie’s eyes slipped closed and she pressed her fingertips to the center of her forehead, trying to ward off the oncoming headache she could sense fast approaching.

“Tonight I had to tell three families that their loved ones were dead. I feel like an executioner and I’m just...I’m exhausted." Her voice cracked and she barely held back frustrated tears.

Arizona sighed sympathetically, murmuring a quiet “I’m so sorry.” She placed a hand on the back of the Callie’s neck, fingertips stroking the soft, fine hairs beneath them. “Do you want to talk about it? Or would you rather focus on something completely different? I’m pretty sure I saw _Gone With the Wind_ playing in French about an hour ago.”

“Neither of us speak French,” Callie pointed out, melting into the gentle touch.

“So? We would get the gist of it. We could even make up our own dialogue like we did with _Moulin Rouge_ last week,” Arizona said, shifting closer.

The best answer Callie could muster up was a non-committal grunt. For a moment she focused solely on Arizona’s relaxing touch, until her mind began to drift back to her patients. “How did you do it?”

“Hm?”

Callie swallowed back the lump in her throat. “You’re a trauma surgeon in one of the most dangerous and high-casualty positions available. How did you deal with the constant death and all the horrible things people do to each other?”

Arizona fell silent as she thought about it, mulling over how she wanted to respond. “You just do, I guess. It never really gets easier, so you focus on the ones you _can_ save in order to get through the day. There’s a lot of tragedy, and I don’t think anyone ever really becomes immune, you just learn to process it over time in different ways. Does that make sense?”

“Sort of,” Callie admitted, releasing a soft breath through her nose. “I mean, I’ve been doing this for more than five years now. It’s been a while since something’s hit me like this, y’know? It sucks.”

“It does,” Arizona agreed, taking a moment to gently squeeze Callie’s shoulder before massaging her neck some more, digging her thumb into the base of her skull.

Callie closed her eyes and groaned. “So your answer is that there is no answer?”

“Pretty much.”

“You’re fired.”

Arizona laughed and did her best to knead the brunette’s sore muscles, but there was only so much she could do with the one hand that wasn’t tied to an IV line. She pondered her next move for a minute before scooting to the right, leaving plenty of room on her left side.

“C’mere,” she husked in a low voice, tilting her head down to focus on the exhausted woman by her bedside. She flicked off the harsh fluorescent lights with the remote switch.

"What about...?” Callie hesitated. On the one hand she needed the physical contact so badly she could cry. But on the other...

“I really shouldn't, Arizona. We've been through this," Callie said lightly, looking down at her lap. They’d already pushed things too far before and as happy as she was that they were hanging out again, she was still Arizona’s surgeon.

“I know,” Arizona replied carefully. “I know we have.” She licked her lips and squeezed her fingers again, smiling when Callie’s eyes automatically drifted shut. “But you’ve had a bad day.”

“I have,” Callie agreed weakly. “The worst ever.”

“And we’re friends, right? Friends help each other when they’ve had a bad day. You look like hell and you need to relax.”

Callie grunted softly. Arizona could tell she was starting to waver.

“Technically you’re not working right now, hm?”

“No,” she relented.

“Then c’mere.” Arizona could tell Callie was close to tears and it only made the urge to hold her stronger. “You’ve had a bad day. No arguments.”

Callie exhaled and felt herself give in. She could try to deny it but she needed Arizona so badly right now it almost hurt. "No arguments," she echoed, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

Arizona produced one of her own as the brunette stood up, then took her hand and helped her climb on. After lowering the bed into a more comfortable sleeping angle, she guided Callie’s head to rest against her shoulder and circled her left arm protectively around her back. “See? This isn’t so bad,” she pointed out, stroking her cheek and daring to place a delicate kiss against her temple.

Callie curled up and nuzzled into Arizona’s shoulder. The effects were almost immediate; she could feel the tension she’d been carrying around for hours melt away. "Mm. I needed this."

“Any time,” Arizona said quietly. She flipped on the television and found the movie, keeping the volume low. Her fingers dropped the remote and went back to stroking behind Callie’s ear.

"You're warm," Callie murmured into the blonde’s shoulder, tugging her in by the waist.

Arizona found herself smiling as she burrowed her nose into dark hair. “Mm. You’re pretty hot yourself,” she teased, dropping another kiss against her forehead. She frowned when she felt a warm tear splash against her collarbone.

“Hey,” she whispered, tightening her right arm around Callie’s shoulders. “It’s okay.”

"I’m so exhausted,” Callie admitted, her voice shaking. “Six people died on my watch this week, four of them tonight. I can't take it anymore." She sniffled loudly and buried her face deeper into Arizona’s shirt, embarrassed at the outburst.

Arizona only hugged her closer. “Shh,” she whispered again, closing her eyes. “Relax, everything’s okay now. You’re safe. Just try and sleep.”

"Movie first,” Callie mumbled, though her eyelids were already closed and her voice barely coherent.

Arizona smiled as the woman in her arms struggled to stay awake, succumbing to exhaustion in under a minute. Keeping the movie on low, settled back and eventually began to drift off, too.

***

Somewhere around five in the morning, Teddy found herself on the same floor as Arizona’s room. She had no idea if the blonde would be sleeping or awake; her schedule had always been obscure and she seemed to pass out whenever she was tired, no matter the time of day. Teddy had once seen Arizona nap through fighter pilots pulling test runs overhead and not so much as flinch.

She frowned when she found the door to her best friend’s room closed and the blinds pulled shut. Staying as silent as possible, she turned the handle and slowly pushed it open, peaking her head around the corner. The lights were off and the TV was on mute, and both figures on the bed appeared to be sound asleep.

At first Teddy was a little surprised they would risk it again, until something deep down told her she shouldn’t be. Arizona held Callie protectively in her arms and Callie was using her for a body pillow. They looked peaceful, a welcome change – probably for both of them.

Teddy shook her head with a light smile and just as quietly shut the door again. Those two crazy kids had only a matter of days to figure their stuff out, though she had little doubt they would find a way back to one another no matter what happened.

***

Arizona slept soundly for quite a while, not so much as shifting position. She woke up with her left arm completely numb and pinned underneath the warm weight next to her. Callie’s head remained right where she had left it on her shoulder.

They could stay like this forever as far as Arizona was concerned, blood circulation be damned. She lifted her free hand to smooth it along the other woman’s side, absorbing the peacefulness of the moment. Everything about Calliope Torres radiated warmth and comfort. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply.

Curling up with Arizona was exactly what Callie had needed, too. All of her immediate problems evaporated and nothing else mattered. While it was new and a little scary, Callie decided she’d embrace it, at least for the time being. Not even the Chief himself could pry her from this bed before she was ready.

She could feel Arizona nuzzling her hair and stroking her skin, and it gradually brought her out of the dreamless sleep she’d fallen into. With a stifled yawn and lazy smile, she shifted closer and tightened the arm she had thrown over the blonde’s waist. “Mm. Did you sleep?”

“Like a rock,” Arizona replied. “You’re all cozy and warm.”

“Snuggly is one of your best qualities,” Callie chuckled. “I missed this,” she admitted.

Arizona grinned. “Me too.” She reluctantly pulled her head back so she could glance down, blue eyes still hazy with sleep. Her mind was clear, however; clear enough to know how badly she wanted to kiss the beautiful woman in her arms right now. Their lips were so close, all she had to do was lean in and brush them together. Except the last thing she wanted to do was scare Callie away a second time, so for now she settled on pressing another soft kiss to her forehead.

Callie’s insides melted. “You keep doing that. It’s nice,” she murmured. Which was the truth, except she really wanted to feel Arizona’s lips somewhere else. Kissing was good, _really_ good, and it sucked that they couldn’t do it under the present circumstances. It was all Callie could think about these days – those lips and what they would feel like pressed against her own.

And over various other parts of her body.

Torture. This was absolute torture.

Arizona pulled in another shallow breath and released it in a soft gust of air. She wondered if Callie could hear how hard her heart was beating right now. “Are you feeling any better? You feel a little less tense.”

Callie contemplated that for a moment. “I haven’t been able to sleep for a while,” she admitted. “I tried earlier and it didn’t work. Then I came here and couldn’t hold my eyes open.” She smiled shyly into Arizona’s shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Any time,” Arizona whispered, closing her eyes. She swallowed thickly, feeling a sudden weight in her chest. “What are we gonna do?”

Callie tensed at the question and held on a bit tighter. The bubble had been broken. She knew they needed to have this conversation and at the same time didn’t want to. At all.

“I don’t know. Pretend like things will never change?” she sighed, knowing the ruse could only last for so long. She’d been subconsciously counting the days since Arizona’s first surgery. As far as she was concerned, they were both screwed. “What do you want to do?”

Arizona rubbed a soothing hand along Callie’s back, letting her know she wasn’t going anywhere just yet. “For starters, keep doing this. And then...” She trailed off, not having even the slightest idea how to finish that sentence.

Before either of them could come up with an appropriate response, Callie's pager erupted from the clip on her pants. Arizona groaned and cursed the universe for interrupting. “Don’t suppose you can just pretend you were kidnapped by aliens?”

Pushing herself up, Callie fumbled with the device and flipped the screen around. “It’s a 9-1-1. Crap.” She swiped a hand back through her hair, hating the fact that she had to bust out of their little cocoon.

“Raincheck on this conversation?” Callie asked, scooting off the edge of the bed and dropping to the floor while Arizona raised it back up. After a brief hesitation, she leaned down to stroke a thumb across Arizona’s cheek, planting her other hand next to the blonde’s head for support.

“‘Kay,” Arizona agreed, nuzzling into the brunette’s palm.

“Thank you,” Callie said quietly, staring into those strikingly blue eyes she had come to adore and trying to read Arizona’s mind. She came up empty. Even after all this time spent together, the blonde was hard to figure out.

Arizona parted her lips a fraction, only she didn’t know what to say. ‘You’re welcome’ just sounded too automatic and indifferent. She liked their bubble. It was pretty and warm and full of snuggles. She didn’t want it to change.

Callie swallowed back the thick lump in her throat and leaned in a little closer. “Arizona, I...” They were so close, Arizona was the only thing she could sense, the only thing she could feel. For a moment she forgot about the job she had to get back to outside in the real world.

Arizona closed her eyes when Callie’s thumb continued to run soothingly across her cheek, then traced up over her brow before falling back down again. She shivered and forced herself to take in a small breath. It had been forever since anyone had touched her like that.

Callie placed a soft kiss against Arizona’s forehead. She wanted it to be lower, she really, truly did, but it just wasn’t possible right now.

‘ _Damn it,_ ’ she cursed silently, wishing she had the guts to go for it. She pulled back before she lost her nerve and took a small step away, sending Arizona a shaky smile.

The blonde returned it to the best of her ability. “Go kick some ass, Torres. I’ll be waiting.”

With a silent nod, Callie pulled herself together and exited the room, legs quaking beneath her as she made a beeline for the ER.

Arizona watched her go, eventually reaching over for the bedside switch. She turned the lights back on and sank further into the pillows, releasing a ragged sigh.

It appeared neither of them knew where they were supposed to go from here. Somehow that wasn’t exactly reassuring.

***

Callie hated leaving Arizona’s room. Once she was past the door and out in the world, everything about her day came crashing back down around her. The failed surgeries, the dead teenagers, the weeping parents that had to be picked up off of the floor; and now the inevitable question had been asked – where did they go from here?

They’d crossed the line between doctor and patient, even between friend and friend. It left them in a place of complete uncertainty and after the day she’d had, Callie didn’t know if she could handle that conversation just yet.

The only thing that made her keep it together was the knowledge that a 9-1-1 page meant someone urgently needed her help to survive. And damn it, she was going to help at least one person make it through the morning if it killed her in return.

***

Arizona was debating the easiest way to escape her prison cell when someone knocked on the door. She looked over, hoping against hope it was Callie, but had no such luck. Still, it wasn’t a disappointment to see Teddy grinning back at her and holding up a tray of food.

“Torres got stuck in surgery so I figured I’d bring you breakfast,” she announced, sitting in the chair Callie usually occupied and setting their meal on the bed tray.

“Thanks,” Arizona said, reaching out and snagging an apple slice.

"Are you gonna tell me what's wrong or am I supposed to guess?" Teddy mixed a packet of sugar into her coffee and watched her friend carefully.

“Guess.” Arizona smirked and finished the fruit slice while Teddy shook the bottle of juice she’d brought with her, twisting off the cap and handing it over.

“Could it have something to do with the fact that you fell asleep with a certain someone using you as a body pillow?”

Arizona froze mid-sip. “Uh...”

“You forget how well I know you.” Teddy looked smug about it until another thought occurred to her. “You didn’t have another flashback, did you?”

Swallowing a mouthful of juice and shooting Teddy a sheepish grin, Arizona shook her head. “No, there was no flashback involved. She had a really, really bad day and she just looked _so_ defeated and I thought she needed a hug and since I can’t technically stand up, I hugged her. On the bed. Horizontally. And then we fell asleep – also horizontally.”

Yes, that was her story and she was sticking to it.

“It looked like more than just a ‘hug’ to me. Try again,” Teddy prompted.

“I’m serious. She had a bad day and she was trying not to cry so we maybe snuggled for a little while and fell asleep. That’s all. There was nothing naughty involved.”

Teddy sighed and rolled her eyes. She hated to bust Arizona’s chops but someone really had to. "Arizona, what's going on with you two? I know you care about her, but have you talked about what's going to happen when real life catches up?"

Arizona shrugged, playing with the blanket covering her lap. “We started to, then she got paged away and – I don’t know. I don’t want to get her in any trouble because I know she could get fired, but I can’t stop thinking about her.”

Teddy reached for her hand. "I think the fact that she could get fired is irrelevant. You two have feelings for one another, it's pretty obvious. I think you’re both scared because you don’t know what’s going to happen when you leave this place. When you go home.”

“Honestly, I don’t even know where I’m going after this,” Arizona admitted, chewing on her bottom lip. “I mean, I guess I’ll find a hotel for the first little while, see how the physio goes once I’m discharged. Then, I don’t know. I don’t have a home here; I don’t have much of a life _anywhere_. Present company excluded, of course.” She grinned and gripped Teddy’s hand. “I don’t know what she wants to do once I leave the hospital.”

Shaking her head, Teddy sighed in exasperation. “Gee, you could always talk about it. Did that ever cross your mind?” When she received nothing but a whimper in return, she rolled her eyes. “You’re both idiots; you’re perfect for each other. She’s the only one that calls you out on your crap.”

Arizona had no rebuttal to that.

“Of course she wants you to stay, she just doesn’t know how to say it,” Teddy continued, “and neither do you. You guys have to figure that out for yourselves. Just _talk_ for once. God knows you like to flap your gums.”

“Okay, okay,” Arizona laughed, stealing the coffee cup from the other surgeon’s hands and taking a sip. “I’ll take your advice. We’ll try to talk.”

“Good.” Teddy stood up and snatched it back. “I’ve gotta get going and I’m sure your lady will be out of surgery soon. Hang in there, everything will work out.” Depositing the remains of her lunch in the trash and leaving the rest for Arizona, Teddy breezed out of the room.

Arizona sighed as she was once again left alone to ponder the complications in her life – where she was going after this, what she was supposed to do, how her life was supposed to look when all was said and done. She took a bite of the sandwich Teddy left behind and slumped back into her pillows, trying to figure out what the best course of action was.

She liked Callie, a lot. The woman made her feel things that she hadn’t felt in a really long time. That didn’t necessarily mean they should do anything about it if the timing was wrong, though. The first hurdle she had to conquer was location – Seattle was supposed to be a temporary stop along the road to recovery, not somewhere to put down roots and start over again. Her life had been beyond confusing since December and it seemed rash to make a decision to stay based on the last few months lying in a hospital bed.

It wasn’t just her leg that needed to be rebuilt – she had nowhere to call home. She could go anywhere in the country to recuperate, yet something inside of her was telling her to stay right where she was. Arizona knew she was messed up, that her head wasn’t exactly screwed on straight these days, but she also knew everything sucked less when Callie was around. There was still the whole ‘doctor-patient’ thing that nagged at her; she really didn’t want to get Callie fired, even though she would give anything to have her back in the same bed again, sharing the closeness they’d had before.

None of that even addressed the fact that she’d been injured on the job, a job which she may or may not be expected to go back to when she was healed. Thinking about her life in the Marines was too much right now; she couldn’t look that far ahead until she knew one way or another about her leg – she’d have to do a hell of a lot more than walk if she were to ever go back there.

Groaning at the migraine all of this was causing, Arizona gingerly rolled onto her side and closed her eyes. When in doubt, ‘nap’ was always her number one choice. Hopefully when she woke up, her mind would have made itself up.

***

Callie didn’t go back to Arizona’s room for a few hours. She actually managed to get some rest in an on-call room after her emergency surgery, refueling for the talk she knew was still to come.

After waking from her power nap, she decided she’d put it off long enough and headed upstairs, praying it wasn’t about to be her last visit of a personal nature. Cutting herself off from Arizona entirely was already hard enough the first time around and she couldn’t take it if they stopped talking again.

Checking through the window like she always did, Callie stopped in her tracks just outside the room. Arizona was passed out cold, tucked comfortably into her blankets, looking peaceful. For a moment Callie just stood there and watched, wondering if it would be better for them both if she were the one to walk away first.

But better how? She couldn’t wrap her mind around it in a way that made sense. She’d already lost too many people in her life and above all valued Arizona’s friendship far too much to brush it aside.

Taking one more risk just because she could, she stepped into the room and shut the door behind her, drawing the blinds closed again before walking around to the far side of the bed. She took great care to be as quiet as possible, settling in and watching Arizona sleep.

Callie felt a swell of adoration rise in her chest and fought like hell to suppress it. She hated getting so attached, knowing it meant she’d be that much more hurt when the time came to part ways. The chances of Arizona staying in Seattle without any family around were slim to none, which meant she was leaving soon and Callie didn’t want her to.

She moved the chair closer, lowering the guard rail on the bed and resting her cheek next to the blonde’s hip. It was the next best thing to crawling back in with her. Pushing thoughts of Arizona’s impending departure aside, Callie closed her eyes and soon found herself drifting off for the third time that day.

***

When Arizona woke up, she found a surprise quietly dozing against her bed. She didn’t know how long Callie had been back for, nor did she mind the sneaky intrusion in the slightest. Keeping quiet, she took a moment to watch the steady rise and fall of the brunette’s back with each breath, resting a hand against the side of her neck. Arizona’s fingertips curved along her jaw line while her thumb traced a spot just below the woman’s ear. Callie groaned quietly in her sleep, making no further indication that she’d woken up.

Arizona lost track of time, spending it all watching the surgeon doze. The rough day Callie had experienced had definitely taken its toll, and the last thing in the world Arizona wanted was to wake her up before she was ready. Given everything Callie had done for her, it was the least she could do.

What scared her was knowing that sooner or later this would all have to change. She wouldn’t be a patient in Seattle Grace forever. Arizona knew she wanted more from Callie, that she thought about her constantly and the highlights of her day were seeing that bright smile and those gorgeous brown eyes walk into her room with some sort of lunch food in hand and an entertaining story just waiting to be told.

Wanting more and knowing when to walk away were decisions Arizona was already familiar with. It wasn’t fair to throw Callie into the disastrous mess that was her life; she didn’t need to get involved with someone as screwed up as she was. This woman deserved the world and Arizona wasn’t sure she could ever give it to her.

Caressing the surgeon’s cheek, she contemplated how easy it would be to fall for her. Everything about Callie captivated Arizona without even having to try. She ran her fingers through her dark, gorgeous hair because she didn’t know if she’d get another opportunity to relish it like this, and worried that they were getting themselves in far deeper than either of them were ready to handle. She worried that when the time came to go their separate ways, their actions now would only make it hurt more.

A good twenty or so minutes passed before Arizona noticed the sleeping surgeon finally begin to stir.

When Callie woke up, she automatically smiled at the sensation of gentle fingers stroking the side of her face. She didn’t move a muscle as her brain slowly began to turn again, noting how much she was enjoying the special treatment. “Mm. You have magical fingers,” she murmured in a husky, sleep-filled voice.

Arizona smirked and had no trouble recognizing how flustered Callie became the second those words left her mouth. “You have no idea, Dr. Torres.”

Callie’s slip up left her a little turned on and more than a little curious. Damn it, she kept walking herself right into those word traps. Stupid brain. It never wanted to function properly when Arizona was in such close proximity.

She lifted her head and blinked a few times. “How’d I get here?”

“I was wondering that myself,” Arizona mused. “Woke up and found you as a nice surprise. Everything okay?”

Callie blushed furiously and forced herself to sit up. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.”

Arizona pouted as the woman pulled away, missing the contact already. “You don’t have to be sorry, I was grateful for the company.” She watched the brunette fidget and smooth down her scrubs. “I was worried; thought maybe your morning went just as badly as last night. I didn’t want to wake you up when you were actually getting some sleep for once.”

Callie chewed on her bottom lip and looked down at her hands. "I crashed in an on-call room and woke up remembering we were supposed to talk. But you were asleep and then I watched you for a while, and then I felt kinda like a creepy stalker and somehow ended up passed out on your bed instead."

“It’s okay. There was minimum drool-age or snoring. I didn’t mind.”

Callie blushed again.

“So, speaking of that conversation…” Arizona sat up a little more, studying the other doctor intently. She wasn’t particularly fond of having hard conversations either and usually tried to avoid them. This time she kept her promise to Teddy in mind and stopped herself from shying away. They needed to talk.

Callie sucked in a deep breath and gazed thoughtfully at Arizona. She couldn't understand why she was so afraid of being next to her right now, when only a few short hours ago she wanted nothing more than to be wrapped in her arms. The thought of ‘we need to talk’ maybe being the last conversation they ever had scared her.

Suddenly this whole thing seemed impossible and her mind refused to let her deal with it. Seeing Arizona look at her that way made Callie squirm, and when the blonde reached for her hand again, she instinctively flinched away. She abruptly stood up and backed away a few steps. “I-I, um. I should go. I really...I need to go, I’m sorry.” Callie moved around the bed, fully prepared to charge out that door before she lost her nerve.

Arizona lunged toward the edge of the bed, somehow managing to close her fingers around the other woman’s wrist before she could escape. “Don’t,” she urged, tugging Callie closer even though she put up a bit of resistance. She finally managed to get her to sit on the edge of the bed again. "Please stop walking away, Calliope.”

“Arizona, I can’t do this right now,” Callie begged. “I can’t have this conversation because I’ve already lost four people today and I really can’t lose a fifth.” She looked up with tears shimmering in her eyes. “Please, I can’t do this. Not today.”

Arizona’s heart broke. She knew just as well as Callie did that she was close to being discharged. It was something she’d been looking forward to, except when it came to saying goodbye. She hated goodbyes.

She didn’t want to lose Callie and at the same time didn’t know what possible place they could hold in each other’s lives after this. She didn’t know how long, if at all, she’d be staying in Seattle for.

Arizona ran both hands up Callie’s shoulders and trailed her fingertips along the back of her neck, hoping it would help calm her down. “You’ve had a really rough day,” she said quietly. “Let’s just ‘be’ and we’ll figure everything out later, okay?” She slid both arms around the brunette’s shoulders and pulled her into a hug.

Allowing herself to be tugged into the comforting embrace, Callie fought against the urge to break down. Bunching her fists around the fabric of Arizona’s shirt, she buried her face deep into the crook of her neck.

“I just need this day to end,” Callie whispered hoarsely, fighting like hell to keep it together. She was so worked up and stressed out that she didn’t even think she could physically make herself cry. Her body started to shake instead, trembling in Arizona’s arms and clinging to her as though her life depended on it.

Arizona held her close, running a soothing hand up and down her back. She turned her head to the side and kissed Callie’s ear, whispering soft reassurances that everything would be okay, even if it wasn’t.

She did what she could, holding her and letting her know that in that moment, she was not alone. After all, Callie had done the same for her not that long ago. Just as she’d promised the day they’d met, they were in this thing together.

At the end of the day, that much would never change.


	11. Chapter 11

_April 16th, 2009_

 

The day Arizona had been waiting for finally arrived. It also happened to be the day Callie was dreading the most.

Four weeks had passed since the last surgery, a period of time that was full of gradually intensifying physical therapy and strength training. Arizona pushed herself harder than Callie would have liked but there was little anyone could do to stop her. Each day ended with her completely exhausted and sore but satisfied with her efforts as she succeeded in standing for just a little bit longer, going a little farther on the crutches, and getting a little more movement out of her knee. The progress she’d made was slow but enough that she could finally handle being on her own again. Arizona could move around on a set of crutches with relative ease and as long as she didn’t push it too hard or for too long, she was strong enough to keep her good leg from buckling. As for the injured one, only time would tell how much use she would get out of it once the muscle healed. Enough had been removed during surgery that there was still no guarantee she’d ever walk normally again.

After a lot of begging, Arizona convinced Callie to discharge her from the hospital. The swelling in her leg had finally subsided and the incisions had healed enough for an ankle-to-knee cast to be put in place for stability. The pain was still present in a big way but at this point nothing would stop her from going home.

Well, not home. She didn’t have a home here in Seattle. Wherever she ended up would be better than the bed she’d occupied for months on end. She reminded Callie several times that most patients would have been out of the hospital a week or two earlier, and Callie was insistent that without a proper support system in place to help out during the recovery process, Arizona needed to stay put a little while longer.

Although she wanted to get out and gain her sanity and independence back, Arizona didn’t fight for her freedom as hard as she could have. She was enjoying certain parts of living within the walls of Seattle Grace. One part in particular.

They never actually had ‘the talk’ following Callie’s bad day like they’d planned to. It was easier to sit back, relax and watch movies than it was to talk about their undefined relationship and how it was about to end. Instead their lunch dates continued as normal and Callie brought some difficult case files to go over together. Arizona had to admit she thoroughly enjoyed pretending she was a surgeon again. Talking over methods and strategies was a blast and it made her really miss operating for the first time since she’d been hurt. She was afraid she’d be rusty when, or if, she ever tried to get back to it.

The morning she was to be discharged, Arizona bullied Teddy into helping her shower, pride be damned. She was desperate to get the smell of hospital out of her skin before she left these walls and the first attempt on her own had been a disaster. With Teddy’s help, she managed to scrub herself free of all the bad memories of this place and began to feel something resembling human again. She changed into fresh clothes that consisted of jeans baggy enough to fit over the cast and a thin, light grey hooded sweater she pulled on over a tank top. She also unearthed a brown leather jacket that had spent more than two months stuffed inside her overcrowded duffel bag. It was a gift from her brother almost eight years ago and her absolute favourite article of clothing, and it was about as dressed up as she was going to get these days, given that she had very little possessions on hand.

As Arizona was stuffing the last of her toiletries and belongings into the bag, weight carefully balanced between her left leg and right crutch, she glanced around the room in wonder. It felt like she’d been here forever; life outside of a hospital seemed like a distant memory.

“Almost ready to go?” Teddy appeared, leaning against the door frame and crossing her arms as she watched Arizona do a quick inventory of her belongings.

The fact that they all fit into one bag meant Arizona would have some shopping to do over the coming weeks. Otherwise she’d have to get someone to ship the essentials over from her parents’ storage unit in California.

“I think so,” she replied, furrowing her brow as she took one last look in the bag before zipping it shut. She brushed a hand through her hair, which had grown fairly long in recent months, and debated throwing some cash down for a hair cut as her first act of freedom.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you home?” Teddy asked for the tenth time that afternoon.

Arizona smiled and glanced over her shoulder. “Nope, you’re on call and needed here. I can cab it to the hotel, no biggie.”

“Motel,” Teddy correctly, standing up straight and stepping into the room. “Don’t over-glorify that crap hole you’re forcing yourself to stay in. Which, by the way, is stupid, because you’re perfectly welcome to live with me until you find something more suitable.”

“No offense, but a one-bedroom apartment with a lumpy couch isn’t exactly what I have in mind.”

“Who says my couch is lumpy? It’s not lumpy. You haven’t even been there.”

“It’ll be lumpy, it’s a couch,” Arizona repeated, grinning. “Besides, I want my own space for a little while. I’m used to having people come and go at all hours, it’ll be nice to have a queen-sized bed and some privacy. But thank you, really. If I get desperate, I’ll come knocking on your door.”

Teddy snorted. “Gee, thanks.” She understood where Arizona was coming from, though. Her place wasn’t exactly big enough to host two people for very long and Arizona was a private person. So was she, for that matter. “I’m still cooking you dinner tomorrow night, since you probably haven’t had a decent meal in forever.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” Arizona agreed with an eager nod. “The cafeteria meat here has been a little too ‘mystery’ for me lately, so I’m gonna need some protein. There had better be beef and lots of it.”

Teddy smirked. “There’s a sentence I never thought I’d hear you say.”

Arizona chucked a pillow at her and Teddy just laughed.

The blonde reached into the pocket of her jacket and took out the twin set of dog tags hanging on a silver chain, hers and her brother’s. She ducked the loop over her head and pulled her hair out from under the chain, then neatly tucked the tags down the front of her shirt.

Teddy knew Arizona treasured that thing more than any other possession she owned, even above her prized jacket. It was the one piece that kept her connected to her brother and she never left home without it around her neck.

“I picked up your prescription for you,” Teddy added after a moment, holding out the bag. “That should get you through until your appointment in two weeks to get the cast removed. Don’t go through them too quickly.”

“Thanks,” Arizona replied, taking the paper bag and stuffing it in a side pocket on the duffel. “I’m trying not to take anything if I don’t have to. It still hurts like hell, I just don’t want to go through the withdrawal again.”

“Well, don’t put yourself through unnecessary pain. Physio is going to keep hurting no matter how many times you alter hot and cold on the joint.” Teddy understood her friend’s reluctance. They’d both known people with chronic pain and addiction problems, it came with the types of injuries they dealt with. Arizona had been so doped up right after the attack that she’d had a really tough time coming off of some of the medication.

Now that she was ready to go, Arizona found herself hesitating. Her stomach was churning and she wasn’t sure if it was from nerves, sadness, or something else all together. She hadn’t seen Callie today and they were about to sign her discharge papers together. Suddenly hesitant, she swallowed hard, a whirl of emotions flooding her system until she felt a hand on her shoulder.

Teddy knew what was going through her mind. “She’s probably waiting for you downstairs. Shall we?”

Steeling herself and trying to remain strong, Arizona nodded once. “Yeah.” She allowed Teddy to take the bag and followed behind on her crutches.

***

“I’m just saying we need the cash,” Cristina argued, clearly exasperated. “We have an extra room and it seems pointless not to charge somebody lots and lots of money to live in it.”

Callie whined, wrinkling her nose as she leaned against the administration desk. “I don’t wanna live with someone else. They’ll be annoying and messy.” She paused. “More-so than you already are.”

Cristina rolled her eyes. “Whatever. The point is, our rent goes up next month and unlike you, I’m not a super-special attending that makes lots of dough. We need another person to help take up some of the slack. I don’t care who it is as long as they’re never home and have no sex life.”

Callie shook her head, giving in. “Fine, we’ll figure something out. Just don’t go posting ads in the break room or anything, okay? I want us to screen people ourselves. Ask around instead.”

“Fine,” Cristina replied shortly. “But if nobody bites within the next week, I’m making posters and you’re putting them up.” She pushed off of the desk and strolled away, leaving Callie to grumble under her breath.

Before she could get too cranky, the clacking sound of crutches against resin flooring reached her ears. She looked up to see Teddy and Arizona emerge from the elevator and head in her direction. Her stomach plummeted to her feet and she forgot all about the roommate issue. Arizona’s gaze met hers when she was a few feet away and Callie could do nothing more than stare back. Her voice box seemed to be broken.

Teddy set Arizona’s bag by her feet and placed a hand on her best friend’s shoulder. “Take it easy and I’ll see you tomorrow night for dinner, okay?”

Arizona glanced over and nodded, offering a shaky smile. Teddy released her and headed off. Swallowing back the lump forming in her throat, Arizona turned her attention to the brunette. She couldn’t think, couldn’t form words. Rarely a speechless person, she had no idea what to say right now.

Callie quickly looked away and cleared her throat, scuffing her shoe on the floor. “Um, I-I just need you to fill out these forms first. I can do the rest later.”

Arizona nodded and accepted the pen and paper pushed across the counter, then dipped her head and spent a few minutes scribbling in silence. She used her parents’ current location in San Diego as her mailing address, since she had no idea where she’d be ending up in the coming weeks. Every so often she stole a glance up at Callie while she wrote, still unable to figure out what she was supposed to say or do.

It was hard, harder than she ever thought it would be. They both knew this probably was goodbye. Chances were she’d stick around for two weeks until her cast was removed, then maybe take off – but to where? Back home to the lion’s den? Moving in with her parents was about the last thing Arizona wanted right now. Staying in Seattle might not make a ton of sense in the grand scheme of things, but at least she’d be close to Teddy – and even Callie, if she wanted her around.

Finally, Arizona stopped writing and met Callie’s gaze again. Neither of them were sure whether or not they should say something. If they did, it would probably break the peaceful little bubble they’d been floating in since their ‘reconciliation’.

It was about to burst the moment she walked out those doors, whether she wanted it to or not.  

They were good together, whatever ‘together’ meant. The seven grueling days they hadn’t been on speaking terms for were, to say the least, hell on earth for Callie. She was scared to death of that lonely feeling returning full-force once Arizona left, just as it had when she’d been abandoned by Erica. She didn’t know if she could handle it a second time around.

Ever the eloquent one when it came to breaking awkward silences, Callie decided that as the doctor she should be the one to speak first. “How are you feeling? Any numbness? Unusual discomfort?”

Arizona cocked an eyebrow, surprised at the formality.

Callie cringed. That was lame, even for her.

“Yeah, I’m good. Better. It’s getting there.”

“Good,” Callie replied, nodding enthusiastically. “That’s good.” She cleared her throat and managed a weak smile.

Arizona tilted her head. “Yeah, I guess.” She finally broke eye contact to look down and sign her name on the bottom of the last page, then set the pen aside.

Well. That was that.

She adjusted her stance on the crutches. Another moment of deafening, awkward silence passed by.

Despite the internal pep talk she’d been giving herself since this morning, Callie panicked. She was _so_ not good at this kind of thing, especially on the spot. “So, good luck with everything, and if you have any problems, you know where to find me.”

Damn it, she did not want to give Arizona the same crap speech she gave all of her patients before they went home. That was even worse than if she said nothing to her at all.

Arizona was a little taken back at the dismissal. “Okay. Will do, doc.” She smiled, even though it was forced.

Callie found herself crumbling and needing a way out. She couldn’t handle the pressure much longer. “A nurse will be along in a second to wheel you out. Hospital procedure and all, sorry.”

Arizona saw where this was going and recognized the fight-or-flight in Callie’s eyes. Before the brunette could bolt, she stuck out her right crutch and blocked the escape route just as she turned to go.

“Thank you,” Arizona cut in, swallowing hard. “For everything.” The ‘everything’ was loaded because it meant so much more than just fixing her leg. “I mean it. I can never, ever repay you for what you’ve done for me, Calliope.”

“Arizona, I’m not – you don’t have to keep thanking me. I was just doing my job,” Callie said before realizing how that probably sounded. She was crashing and burning here. The tension between them was ridiculous and awful, and all she wanted to do was remedy it. Except words were failing her and she was pretty sure opening her mouth would only make things worse.

“Yeah, your job, I know. Either way, thank you. For being a rockstar and giving me my life back.” Arizona took in a deep breath and looked down at her shoes. “And for giving me a reason to get up in the morning again.” She heard Callie’s breath catch in her throat and instantly looked up to meet her dark eyes.

“Arizona...” Callie tried to come up with something to say that didn’t sound terribly contrived. “I’m flailing like an idiot here, I’m sorry.” Kicking herself in the ass, she finally decided to take a chance. “You’ve been amazing, braver than anyone I’ve ever met. I’m thankful you trusted me enough to let me help you.”

“You’re very trustworthy,” Arizona said softly.

Callie paused, trying not to fidget with the overwhelming nerves that made speaking so damn difficult. “Is it bad that a part of me wants to keep you under lock and key right here, just so I don’t lose my lunch buddy?” She grinned when Arizona’s signature dimples appeared, her heart thumping extra hard for a beat or two. “I really, really wish you didn’t have to leave.”

“I don’t want to leave either,” Arizona lied. Who was she kidding, she wanted to get the hell out of that hospital more than anything she’d ever wanted in her entire life. But this last little piece of the puzzle was still left unsolved, floating right in front of her, just out of reach, and for the life of her she had no idea where it fit into the big picture of things.

“Well, we both knew you had to go sooner or later,” Callie said with a small shrug. “Can’t keep you here forever. I just, I think that you’re–” She swallowed hard, lips parting in anticipation of the right words coming out.

Arizona waited.

“I-I think you...y-you should probably get going.” Not what Callie had been aiming for. _Dammit._ “That cool Seattle breeze is waiting, as is your own bed. Or _a_ bed, somewhere cozy. I’ll see you around, I guess,” she added, looking down and refusing to meet the sad eyes that were piercing a hole right through her.

“Yeah,” came the soft, disappointed reply.

Callie suddenly felt like she did in high school, sitting in the back corner of the classroom, avoiding any and all human contact. She wanted to curl up in a ball and die rather than humiliate herself further.

This was Arizona. Smart, funny, _gorgeous_ Arizona, with whom she had at the very least become good friends with over the last couple of months, and here she was talking like an idiot that didn’t care.

Arizona’s mouth opened as though she wanted to say something else, too, but nothing happened. She didn’t want it to be ‘goodbye’ and came up empty.

As Callie turned and walked away, Arizona’s heart sank into her stomach and she had to fight the urge to run after her. It’s not like she could get there very fast with these stupid contraptions attached to her sides.

Despite her best efforts not to, Callie looked over her shoulder. The sad, defeated expression in Arizona’s expressive blue eyes made her stop dead in her tracks.

Damn it. That woman didn’t play fair with those things.

Sighing, she finally worked up her nerve and turned right back around. She walked confidently over to Arizona, hands stuffed into her lab coat pockets, and stopped only a few inches in front of her.

Arizona didn’t move a muscle, her breath catching in her throat.

Smiling sadly, Callie leaned in and hugged her, then moved her lips to brush against her ear. “I’ll never forget you.”

Arizona’s eyes slipped closed and she subconsciously leaned into Callie’s warmth. She wanted to turn her head and kiss her, ethics and rules be damned, but Callie pulled away before she could figure out her fine motor skills. Frozen, she watched the brunette head for the elevators without looking back. She had no idea what the right thing to do here was, but what she _did_ know was that she couldn’t just let Callie walk away.

Not again.

Shaking her head and snapping out of her stupor, Arizona abandoned her duffel bag by the counter, fumbled with and nearly dropped her crutches, then hobbled clumsily in the direction the brunette had disappeared to.

***

Callie stepped onto the elevator and knew she only had about thirty seconds of ‘holding it together’ left before she self-destructed. She looked up and found Mark Sloan already on board, immediately averting her eyes.

Mark might have been an idiot sometimes but he wasn’t stupid. He reached over and put a hand on her shoulder, giving it a hard squeeze. “I’m sorry, Torres.”

Callie blinked and took in a steadying breath, willing herself to keep it together just a little bit longer. At least until she could find somewhere private and less embarrassing to act like a big baby.

As the elevator started to close, a loud ‘clang’ resounded within the small space, startling them both. The steel doors bounced apart to reveal a slightly frazzled looking Arizona Robbins standing on the other side, left crutch extended and wedged between them.

Callie blinked in surprise.

Mark, however, looked from Arizona to Callie and knew he wasn’t needed here anymore. He squeezed his best friend’s shoulder one last time before releasing her, stepping out of the elevator and holding it open for Arizona.

She shot him a quick, sheepish smile, then shuffled her way under his arm and onto the platform. The doors slid shut behind her, leaving the two women alone. Glancing around, Arizona pulled the emergency ‘stop’ button to keep them in place, then turned to face Callie with a tiny smirk tugging at the corners of her mouth.

“I can’t believe you made me chase after you on these things,” she teased, glancing down and indicating her crutches. “I nearly tripped over my own... _four_ feet and just about took out a nurse along the way.”

Enormous butterflies erupted in Callie’s stomach. “At least you didn’t drop them and take off running down the hall. I put a lot of hard work into that leg, I’d be pretty pissed if you messed it up on my account.” She started to grin when Arizona laughed.

Grateful for the second chance, the orthopedic surgeon really didn’t want to mess things up again. “I just – I didn’t know how saying goodbye to you was going to feel,” she admitted after a moment. “I didn’t want to make it harder on us than it already was. I shouldn’t have run away, I’m sorry.” She watched as Arizona’s smile slowly faded and felt her nerves settle in again.

“I don’t want you to go.” It was long shot and Callie knew it, but she’d be damned if she stuttered and fumbled again on her very last chance to say what she really meant.

Arizona pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and stepped forward to close the distance between them. “I...” She glanced down shyly and took in a soft breath before looking up again. “I know I’m not exactly at the most stable point of my life, that things are messy and I’m at a loss on where I’m supposed to go from here, but I was wondering if you’d let me take you out to dinner anyway. Because right now, you’re the only thing that I _am_ sure about.”

Callie looked pleasantly surprised.

“I’ll replace that milkshake I owe you from a few weeks ago, or we could skip McDonalds and I can take you some place nicer.” Arizona frowned. “Though you’d probably have to choose because I have no clue what’s in Seattle. And I have no idea how to get anywhere that’s not the airport, so you’d have to drive unless we took a–” She noticed Callie staring, eyebrow quirked in amusement.

Arizona abruptly shook her head and stopped herself before she got on a roll. “The point is, I’d really like to see you sometime if you’re up for it.”

Callie felt relieved for the first time all week. It had been so stressful knowing that a goodbye was coming, and suddenly she was happier than she’d been in ages. Her eyes sparkled, her heart pounded harder in her chest, and she found herself grinning like a freaking idiot and not caring who saw.

“You’re blushing, Dr. Robbins,” she teased, loving how that made the blonde redden even more. “It’s kind of cute.”

Arizona groaned under her breath and closed her eyes. “Please just put me out of my misery. I was never good at suspense.”

Callie’s grin widened. “You don’t need to be nervous. Yes, I would love to go out to dinner with you. And it’ll be outside of the hospital, on our own terms.”

Arizona immediately opened her eyes, looking equal parts relieved and elated.

Gaining the confidence to continue, Callie licked her lips and stepped just a tiny bit closer. “Somewhere I can hold your hand without always looking at the door in case someone walks in; somewhere I can kiss you without always thinking someone is going to catch us.” She took a deep breath. “Because I’ve been thinking about kissing you for a really long time.”

Arizona had a hard time finding her voice, managing to squeak a quiet, “Really?”

“Yes,” Callie confirmed, nodding.

“Good,” Arizona said softly. “Because I’ve been thinking about kissing you, too.”

Callie smiled. “So let’s go out to dinner. Preferably some place nicer than McDonalds.” Where did all this damn confidence come from and why couldn’t it have been there earlier before she made a complete ass of herself?

Callie watched Arizona for any sign of backing out, instead receiving the most beautiful smile she’d ever seen and those adorable dimples she couldn’t get enough of. Those damn freaking dimples that made her heart flop pathetically in her chest each and every time the woman flashed them her way.

Arizona giggled, feeling giddy with relief. “Those seem like perfectly acceptable terms.”

Giggling had to be a good sign. The musical chime gave Callie more butterflies.

Arizona’s cheeks were still tinged red as she beamed with more confidence than she’d felt moments before. “It’s a date then.”

They might’ve had lunch ‘dates’ up to this point but Arizona had never really considered those ‘official’. The first one had to be really good for it to count. She didn’t do half-assed dates with pretty girls like Calliope.

Her smile suddenly turned wolfish and she stepped in nice and close, invading Callie’s senses. Blue eyes twinkled mischievously as she reached up to slip a felt-tipped pen from the brunette’s lab coat pocket.

Arizona grasped Callie’s right hand in her own and smoothed it out flat, bringing the pen up to poise it over her skin. “I guess that means you’ll have to call me,” she teased with a sly grin, placing the tip delicately against her palm.

An instant later she froze, blinking stupidly as the one major flaw in her plan became very apparent. “Uh–”

“Yeah, I could do that,” Callie said slowly, “call you on the invisible phone you’ve been carrying around since arriving in Seattle. But I hear the service is _really_ shitty when it rains.”

Arizona’s mouth fell open and she had no response. Callie rolled her eyes and couldn’t help but laugh as all of the blonde’s wit and charm from moments before crumbled away. The perfect idea hit her not a second later.

This time it was Callie who reached for the permanent marker, brushing their fingers together as she extracted the object from Arizona’s grasp. Locking eyes, smirk still firmly in place, she slowly – almost _too_ slowly – sank to her knees.

Arizona’s breath caught in her throat and she gulped. Loudly.

Callie crouched down and ran her index finger up the hem of Arizona’s jeans. Gaining a bit more courage from the shock that seemed to freeze the blonde in place, she reached for the right cuff and slowly began to lift it up the cast.

“W-what–” Arizona couldn’t even get the full word out, let alone a fully formed question.

Callie pulled the pant leg up until it was just passed the top of the blonde’s cast. She wrapped a hand around the back of her thigh to hold the material in place and dug her fingers into the muscle.

Arizona’s eyes turned a deep azure shade as she watched the woman’s every move. Part of her wondered if she was just way too stoned for her own good right now and was completely imagining this entire thing.

 _That_ would suck.

Callie smirked again, trailing her eyes from the blonde’s gaze down every inch of her body. God, was she gorgeous. She looked amazing in those jeans and that jacket. She spaced out completely just imagining all of the different ways she’d like to remove it from Arizona’s body.

Shaking her head, Callie re-focused on the permanent marker in her hand and carefully scrawled her cellphone number across the plaster cast. She looked up at Arizona when she was finished, squeezing the blonde’s thigh tightly before pulling her pant leg back down to where it had started.

Callie stood up again and leaned closer to whisper in her ear, “Now you’re stuck with it until I take the cast off myself.” Arizona whimpered and it was the sexiest thing Callie had ever heard. She wanted to hear it again, so she moved her lips just below Arizona’s ear to the curve of her jaw and placed a gentle kiss there. The sound that came out of the blonde’s mouth was music to her ears.

Without any warning at all, Callie pulled away completely, shoving her hands into her lap coat pockets, leaving Arizona completely dazed and definitely wanting more.

Arizona swayed on her feet, suddenly needing to put more weight into her crutches so she didn’t fall over. She had to shake her head once in order to clear the haze clouding her brain. The smirk the brunette was sending her way was just about the sexiest thing she’d ever seen. Scratch that, it _was_ the sexiest thing she had ever seen.

Swallowing back audibly, Arizona managed a shaky, aroused smile of her own. “That’s – t-that’s good. I’m good a-at losing things.” Her tongue threatened to tie itself into a knot and she could barely get a sentence out without stuttering.

Callie continued to look thoroughly pleased with herself as she took a step forward, invading Arizona’s personal space once more. She reached out and pushed in the emergency stop button behind her, then quickly mashed ‘open door’ in sequence. “Better get your stuff before someone steals it.”

Arizona swallowed hard again and nodded. “Y-yeah. Definitely.” Her skin was still tingling from where Callie had kissed it and suddenly she couldn’t wait to find out what those lips felt like pressed against her own.

But now wasn’t the time.

Regaining some of her senses much too late to make any attempt at playing it cool, Arizona flashed Callie the sturdiest smile she could muster and turned around, stumbling out of the elevator.

“So, how are you planning on getting out of here?” Callie couldn’t help but laugh to herself at the look on the blonde’s face when she turned back around. That plan couldn’t have been better executed if she’d thought of it hours before. She loved seeing her so flustered.

“I, uh, I was going to call a cab to take me to a hotel.” Arizona was still tongue-tied and trying to pull her brain back together. Score one for Callie, who chuckled.

“Okay Casanova, how about I give you a ride home?” Callie offered. “I just finished my shift and considering your current mental state, I think it would be better if I took care of you out in that big bad world. Cabbies are known to take advantage of shell-shocked women and fares are ridiculous in Seattle. What do you say?”

Arizona inhaled a long, deep breath in an attempt to pull herself together. “I don’t want to bother you.”

Callie fixed her with a stare, right eyebrow ticking impatiently.

The blonde smiled sheepishly. “I mean, yes, if you’re willing to give me a ride and it wouldn’t be too much trouble, that would be lovely.” Secretly, she kind of wondered if driving in a car with Callie would be a good idea so soon – now that they were officially no longer doctor and patient, she might find it a little too hard not to make a move. She wanted to wait, wanted the first kiss to be good and not inside a car.

Adjusting her stance, with the crutches suddenly feeling much too long and getting in the way whenever she moved, Arizona held out the left one to block the door from closing. “See? Told you I’m good at holding open doors for the ladies.”

Callie rolled her eyes and stepped out. “Yeah, I can see that.” She pointed to the spot Arizona was standing on. “You stay here while I go get your bag. Carrying something is the last thing you need to be doing right now.” Another one of those dimpled smiles appeared and Callie’s heart stopped beating all together. She was _so_ smitten already, it was pathetic.

So she exited the elevator and sauntered in the direction of the administration desk, making sure Arizona got a little bit of a show until she rounded the corner, out of sight. There she took off at a run and barely skidded to a stop right in front of Cristina Yang, who was standing over the duffel with it between her legs. “Yang, _move_.”

“Say please,” Cristina mumbled, not looking up from the chart she was filling out.

“Cristina,” Callie warned, eyes flashing and nostrils flaring. “Move your ass. _Please_.”

Cristina smirked, lifting her gaze. “Where are you off to in such a hurry?”

Callie sighed and resisted the urge to just shove her out of the way. “I’m driving Arizona to her hotel, okay? And you’re standing on her stuff.”

“The Marine? She lives in a hotel?”

Callie growled dangerously, quickly losing patience. “Yes, she lives in a hotel, she’s not from Seattle. Now _move_ or I’ll–”

“Ask her to move in with us.”

Callie recoiled in surprise. “ _What?_ ”

“Ask her to move in. She needs a place, we need a third roommate, problem solved for everyone. Plus she’s a pretty face, maybe if she flirts with the landlord we’ll get a discount or something. It works. Make it happen, Torres.” Cristina clicked her pen closed and scooped up her charts before stepping over Arizona’s bag and kicking it forward as she walked away.

‘Well, that was weird,’ Callie thought, watching her go with a frown. She wasn’t entirely put off by the idea. Arizona probably didn’t have anything lined up in the way of places to stay and they did really need a third roommate. But there was still that _tiny_ little problem that had to do with the fact that she wanted to _date_ her.

Callie couldn’t even keep her hands off of Arizona in the freaking elevator and if they lived together there was no way she could keep her hands – or her mouth – to herself. Rolling her eyes at all the things she’d just allowed herself to admit way too soon, she picked up the bag and slung the strap over her shoulder, heading back in the direction of the elevators.

Arizona was waiting patiently where she’d been told to, drumming her fingers along the grips of her crutches. She looked up as Callie appeared around the corner and lit up again. She extended a hand for the bag but Callie pulled away and kept it on her shoulder.

“Nope, I’ve got it.”

Arizona shot her a look. “Seriously? I can handle it, Calliope. Give it to me.”

“No, I’ve _got_ it. You just concentrate on sitting there looking pretty.” Right on cue, a nurse appeared with a wheelchair, left it for Dr. Torres, then disappeared.

Arizona rolled her eyes. “Really? I can walk. Er, hobble.”

“Hospital policy, you know that. Now sit.” Callie nudged it forward.

Sighing dramatically, Arizona turned around and awkwardly settled herself onto the wheelchair, pulling her crutches into her lap.

Callie grinned crookedly and wheeled Arizona back into the elevator. “I just have to grab some stuff from my locker, then we’ll be out of here in no time.”

Arizona leaned forward to punch the second floor button. “Don’t suppose you feel like stopping at a drive-thru on the way, do you? I’m _starving_.” Her stomach accentuated her point with a loud rumble.

Callie couldn’t help but laugh. “Anything you want, Dr. Robbins. Today is your day.”

As the doors closed, Arizona knew she only wanted one thing – a real chance with the girl standing behind her.


	12. Chapter 12

Arizona ran a hand along the smooth exterior of the blue ’57 Thunderbird sitting in front of her. “I have to say, I’m a little surprised considering you only became an attending a month ago. A classic car like this couldn’t have been very cheap.”

Callie blushed and looked away. She’d been born into money, it was no secret around the hospital, but it made her uncomfortable when the subject came up in her romantic life. She usually liked to wait as long as possible before she let that cat out of the bag.

“My dad, he’s…well, he’s sort of well off, I guess. It’s not something I really think about that much,” she admitted. She hated having this conversation. There was no easy way of going about it without sounding like either a complete ass or a total snob.

“Money, huh? Well, that explains a lot,” the other woman said distractedly, still eyeing the car as she pulled open the door.

Callie frowned as she helped Arizona maneuver her way into the passenger seat. What did that mean?

Horribly embarrassed, she started to close the door.

A hand reached out and stopped it, and Arizona’s head reemerged. “Hey, I’m just teasing you.” She flashed one of those bright, playful grins that made Callie’s insides melt. “It’s a very nice car; my dad would kill for one of these.”

She had definitely grown up a little more modestly; her whole life had been spent jumping from military base to military base. She and Timothy always had everything they needed, but she’d never indulged in something like this before.

Arizona closed the door and waited until Callie climbed into the driver’s side. The vehicle practically purred when it started up and she trailed her fingers across the leather dashboard. “Very nice indeed,” she murmured in awe.

One look at Callie and Arizona could tell the subject made her uncomfortable, which was the last thing she wanted her to be feeling right now. “Hey,” she called softly, placing a hand on her thigh. “I’m sorry.”

Callie shrugged. “It’s okay. I shouldn’t be so sensitive about it.”

“Look, I swear I’m not a gold digger,” Arizona said with a wink. “I will, however, make out with you in the back seat if you promise to take me out for a ride every now and then. Maybe I’ll even let you get to second base sometimes; third if you’re really lucky.” She wiggled her eyebrows and squeezed Callie’s thigh suggestively.

The touch sent shivers down Callie’s spine. She could feel her heart speed up and she was pretty sure her palms were sweating. So much for the ‘smooth and sexy’ thing she’d set herself up with in the elevator. Arizona was good.

Arizona laughed to herself and watched the driver’s knuckles turn white as her grip on the steering wheel tightened. Deciding to get even more forward just because she could, she pressed her fingers deeper into the woman’s thigh, slowly creeping them upward.

She was fucking brilliant when it came to flirting and it was high time she regained the upper hand. “You know, Calliope, as much as I love sitting in this very sexy car, next to a _very_ sexy woman, I’ve been stuck in the hospital for longer than I can remember. May I suggest you shift gears and take us out of here?”

It took a second for Callie to even register the words, seeing how she was somewhat distracted by the hand on her leg. Her thigh, to be exact.

 _Upper_ thigh.

Arizona could see her flailing, finally taking pity on the blushing brunette and removing it. The absence of that tiny bit of warmth making Callie feel cold, though perhaps when it came to driving cold was good. Cold wouldn’t get them wrapped around a telephone pole, which was something that would very likely occur if Arizona kept touching her and saying things like that.

Clearing her throat and releasing a shaky breath, Callie shifted the car into drive. “Okay then. Where to?”

***

Ten minutes later, she had her answer.

“Seriously?” Callie squinted through the rain-covered windshield at the two-story motel they’d just pulled up in front of. “You can’t stay here.”

Arizona looked amused. “Trust me, I’ve lived in worse.” She saw Callie’s mortified expression and shrugged. “It’s okay. It’s the only thing that was both close to the hospital and affordable in case I need to stay for a while. I’ll live.”

Something sparked in Callie’s brain as it kicked into overdrive and Cristina’s words came ringing back to her. “I can think of somewhere that’s closer, actually.”

Arizona tilted her head curiously.

Callie licked her lips and struggled onward. “I-I don’t know about cheaper, but it’s ridiculously upgraded from – _this_.” She motioned haphazardly out the window. “Rent is alternated once every three months and it’s right across the street from the hospital. It’s nice, fully furnished, has one of those amazing showers with the multiple jets at every angle, and, y’know, is a place an actual _surgeon_ should be living. Not some dump in the slums of Seattle.”

Arizona furrowed her brow in thought. “That sounds kinda nice. I haven’t really had time to – correction, I haven’t really had the _means_ to look for an actual apartment yet, hence the slumming until I do.” She indicated the flickering neon sign out the window. It was probably thirty or forty years old and close to falling off the building.

“Where did you hear about it, someone from work? Are they creepy? You’re not setting me up with the weirdo from radiology that keeps staring at your ass every time you pick up your labs, are you? Because that’s just mean and fairly unsettling.”

“No, our radiologists are actually kinda awesome,” Callie laughed. “That was the guy from dermatology.” She cleared her throat. “It’s, uh. You’d be living with me, actually. I’d be the one staring at your ass every time you picked up your – I mean, i-it’s my place.”

She tried to quell the upheaval of panic in her stomach and failed pretty miserably. As soon as the words left her mouth, a deep, crimson blush flared up and she just knew that this was a bad idea. Her brain chose the most inopportune moment to malfunction and make her sound like a psycho-obsessive stalker.

Arizona gaped in surprise. If that wasn’t a lesbian record for U-Hauling, she didn’t know what was.

“No! Stop, don’t freak out. I’m not asking you to ‘move in with me’ move in with me,” Callie rushed on. “I live with Cristina Yang. She’s a bit rough around the edges but she’s harmless. It was actually her idea and I just thought – we have three rooms and you deserve something nicer than this, that’s all. Separate rooms. Separate everything. It’s just an offer, it doesn’t mean anything. I-I just thought I’d throw that out there. Cristina would kill me if I didn’t.”

“So...” Arizona chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully. “You’re asking me to move in with you because your roommate, whom I’ve never met, told you to? How...romantic, or something.”

“What? No, that’s not–” Callie barely refrained from hitting her head against the side window, feeling incredibly stupid. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’d _love_ to be able to see you every day like before, to spend some real time together without being on duty or wearing scrubs. It would be nice, and I hate the thought of you being cooped up in a dingy little craphole. I don’t know why I brought Yang into this, I’m sorry.” She dropped her eyes to her lap.

That really hadn’t gone as planned.

When Callie finally risked a glance over again, she found Arizona grinning widely, not glaring like she’d thought she would be.

Arizona loved that she’d just made Callie blush and trip over her words. It was sexy and extremely adorable when the woman started to babble. “Thank you,” she said, reaching over to rest a hand on Callie’s thigh again. “I mean it, that’s very sweet of you.”

She glanced out at the motel sign just as the sky really started to open up and pour. Cats and dogs would be coming down at any moment. “Can I think about it? It’s a very, very tempting proposition, it’s just–”

“No-no, it’s okay, you don’t have to pretend to think about it,” Callie hurried on, resisting the urge to bang her head against the steering wheel. Maybe if she was lucky the airbags would deploy and knock her unconscious.

“Hey.” Arizona lifted a hand to Callie’s chin and lightly tugged her gaze back up. “If I didn’t want to, I would say so right now, okay? I really do want to think about it. But I also think we’ve got to be careful, considering...well, considering. Y’know?” Her thumb lightly stroked the side of Callie’s chin and the brunette’s eyelids automatically drooped. “I’ll settle in here for now, then we can talk about it when we see each other again. How’s that sound?”

“Yeah, okay. Right. That’s good,” Callie agreed in a shaky voice. She finally managed to relax as Arizona traced her jaw line with her thumb. “I’d like that. And since my number is kinda permanently scrawled on your leg, I’ll know you’re full of shit if you don’t call me.”

Arizona giggled and flashed that ridiculously gorgeous, dimple-popping smile of hers. Callie’s heart did a little swoop and all she could do was grin back stupidly.

Very reluctantly, the blonde pulled her hand back into her own lap. “I should probably get going. Home sweet not-home, or whatever.” She grimaced at the prospect of leaving the sexy car with the sexy woman and going to a dumpy motel room and having to watch Callie drive away to her nice, warm, decorated apartment where she’d probably get into her PJs and snuggle into the couch and read or watch TV and–

Yeah, Arizona definitely didn’t want to get out of the car. Unfortunately she didn’t have a choice.

Callie suddenly started fumbling with her seat belt. “I’ll help you get to your room.”

Arizona smiled at the generosity and shook her head. “Nope. You’re gonna stay here in this nice warm and dry car while I walk through the rain carrying my own stuff like a perfectly capable human being.”

Callie frowned. “Arizona–”

“No.” Arizona pursed her lips and firmly shook her head. “You’ve gotta let me do this on my own. Please? For my own sanity, I need to be able to do something by myself for the first time in almost five months. Okay?”

Callie hesitated but she could tell just by looking at her that Arizona really meant business. She reluctantly nodded. “Okay. But if you trip and fall, I’m not picking you up unless you’re drowning in a puddle.” Arizona laughed that rich, warm sound that made Callie’s butterflies return full-force.

“Deal.” Arizona winked, then opened her door and jumped out. She used the car for support and hobbled over to pop open the back, bending down to grab her duffel bag and crutches. She put one arm through each loop of the handles and sported it backpack style. Very military.

And very hot, Callie couldn’t help but notice.

Arizona nabbed the crutches and resituated herself on them while ducking her head back into the car. “I’ll see you soon?”

“Are you sure you don’t want help?” Callie asked a second time. The poor woman was getting soaked out there.

Arizona flashed her a confident grin. “I’m good. Besides, this way you get to watch me walk away in the rain. I look _good_ wet.” She winked . “And even better from behind.”

Callie’s jaw slackened and her eyes momentarily glazed over.

Arizona closed the door before Callie could say anything and started towards the main office at an easy shuffle. She didn’t seem to care in the least that she was getting dumped on by Mother Nature.

The rain was cool and refreshing, and this was the first time she’d been outside and able to experience it since landing back in the US. After living in a desert for such a long time, she got an honest to God adrenaline rush just from being in a downpour this strong.

Arizona suddenly stopped right in the middle of the parking lot and shrugged off her bag, setting it down by her feet. She tilted her head towards the sky and extended her left arm to the side, feeling water trickle across her palm and drip from her fingertips. A delighted laugh bubbled up from the center of her chest and she closed her eyes.

Not too long ago, she was positive she’d never get to experience this again. The rain felt like it was cleansing away all of the darkness that had been inhabiting her life since that fateful day last December.

Callie sat in the car and watched in awe as the blonde took in everything about the storm. She’d had moments like that when she first moved to Seattle. As much as people complained about the dreary weather, it always amazed her how calming a steady downpour could be, and everything was always _so_ green after it stopped.

Right now, Arizona looked insanely beautiful standing in it. Not even counting the fact that she was wet from head to toe, there was just something about the way she looked to the heavens that made Callie’s heart pound harder against her ribs. She instantly regretted letting her go; the car ride was over way too quickly for her for comfort, and so she made up her mind and popped open the door.

Zipping her jacket up, Callie jogged across the parking lot to where the other woman was standing. “The rain is kinda beautiful, huh?” she called out. She liked the fact that Arizona didn’t even turn to look at her, almost as if she’d expected to hear her voice.

Arizona nodded, humming quietly in reply, eyes remaining closed.

Callie stepped up behind her and reached for the outstretched hand, lacing their fingers together and giving it a light squeeze. She couldn’t help herself.

“What’d I say about helping me, Calliope, hm?” Arizona called over the sounds of the storm, her tone playful and coy.

“I didn’t say anything about wanting to take your bags. You can carry your own crap, I just thought I should walk you to your door. Make sure you got in safely.” Callie tilted her head up and closed her eyes, too. It had been way too long since she’d taken a moment just to ‘feel’ something like this. Arizona was rubbing off on her in a good way.

She was definitely something special, something Callie had never even fathomed happening in her life. Brash and moody sometimes, Arizona also had a soft, comfy undertone that Callie was liking more and more the better she got to know her. Arizona’s captivating aura went far beyond just her physical looks – which were quite stunning to begin with, Callie had to admit.

“It took you long enough,” Arizona teased, giving the fingers laced with her own a gentle tug. “Now c’mere. Stay with me for a minute.”

Callie gladly pressed up against her back, knowing she was falling harder and ridiculously faster than she’d ever thought she could. Every time Arizona opened her mouth something new and exciting came out, and all she could think of was wanting more.

Resting her chin on Arizona’s shoulder and wrapping both arms securely around her waist, Callie snuggled in nice and close, loving how the smaller form melted back into her embrace. She pulled in a deep breath and kissed the dip of her neck before nuzzling her affectionately. A content sigh escaped her own lips as she closed her eyes, willing herself to stay in the moment.

Arizona placed a hand over top of Callie’s arm, relaxing her crutches and using the body behind her for support. They stayed like that for quite a while, Callie holding Arizona comfortably in her arms, tightening her grip every so often, keeping her safe. The rain continued to pour, deterring neither of them in the slightest.

Moving was the last thing on her mind, at least until Callie felt a small shiver run through Arizona’s body. As beautiful as standing in the rain was, she was obviously cold and Callie’s protective instincts immediately kicked in. “Not that this isn’t perfect, but you’re freezing and wet. And you just got out of the hospital. I don’t want you to get sick, too. Can I walk you to your door?”

Arizona just hummed softly, snuggling into the strong pair of arms around her torso, leaning forward just enough to curve Callie over her back. The brunette’s arms instinctively tightened and her body curled perfectly to match Arizona’s. For once, Callie enjoyed being taller than someone.

“That’d be nice,” Arizona replied huskily, just barely audible over the pounding rain. She turned her head to the side and found their lips barely a hairs width apart.

She didn’t kiss her, though. Not yet.

Closing her eyes, she pressed her forehead into Callie’s temple, taking in a deep, steadying breath. She wanted to stay like this; they fit together just as perfectly standing up as they had lying in a hospital bed. She wanted to ignore the reality that sooner or later they would have to move, but the torrent of rain kept getting stronger.

Arizona sighed at the loss of contact when Callie finally pulled away and forced herself to try and keep a clear head, just so she could walk forward and not trip over her own feet. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew getting her cast soaked meant it would start growing various cultures of bacteria and fungi, and that was reason enough to move inside. So she picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder again.

Callie was really going for the chivalrous medal of the year and kept a hand against the small of her back the entire time, matching each slow step stride for stride. It took effort for Arizona just to speak calmly to the man in the front office, and she had to force herself to be very articulate and precise in order to make sense. Callie’s hand was completely distracting as those magical fingers played just beneath the hem of her shirt, tracing small patterns over her skin.

By the time the office manager handed her a room key and slid the window closed, Arizona was quivering. She didn’t feel particularly cold but her body was run down and the wet clothes didn’t help. This was definitely the most effort she’d exerted in months. Her first instinct was to lean into Callie because she was so damn tired, but at the same time she didn’t want to come across as a total weakling – or an idiot for having just stood in the rain for almost six minutes when she barely had the strength to remain upright.

They traveled the rest of the way down the line of doors to one at the very end of the row, in the corner of the U-shaped complex. The overhang of the walkway above provided shelter from the rain. Arizona slipped the bag from her shoulders and set it on a patch of dry ground by the wall, fiddling with the key ring and contemplating her next move.

Turning, her expression almost unreadable, she tilted her head up the short distance and studied Callie carefully. “Thank you,” she said after a moment, not specifying as to what. It was a long list – the ride home, the housing offer, the snuggling in the rain, the escort to the door, building her a new leg. The possibilities really were endless.

“Any time,” Callie said in a low voice, carrying over the rain that same husky tone that sent a deep shiver down Arizona’s spine.

Arizona’s thoughts mirrored Callie’s from earlier – she’d never, ever felt herself falling so hard or so fast for a girl before. One simple smile from Callie and suddenly it became harder to breathe, harder to function normally. It was a little unfair how incapacitating she could be at times.

It also made her next decision so much easier.

Arizona looked away just long enough to drop the room key on top of her bag, remove her crutches, and prop them up against the wall. She was careful to rest her weight solely on her left leg as both hands moved up to Callie’s shoulders and the brunette automatically stepped forward.

Arizona’s senses were flooded with their close proximity and her eyelids drooped dangerously low. Callie radiated the absolute perfect amount of body heat to fight against the cool air nipping at her wet skin, while that patented Torres smile she wore stole Arizona’s breath away.

Callie felt a light tug on her jacket and gladly shifted closer, sliding both arms around the blonde's slender waist for added support. She dipped her head down just enough, bringing their lips a mere fraction apart.

Another shiver traveled through Arizona, who was feeling a bit overwhelmed at having someone this close again. It had been so long since she'd had physical contact of an intimate kind that it was like a shot of heart-pounding adrenaline to her system. A shaky breath escaped as she traced her left hand along Callie's jaw line, fingertips tingling at the sensation, while her right gripped a lapel on the black leather jacket.

When Arizona was poised and no longer worried about collapsing, she tilted her head up and pressed her lips to the brunette's in a soft, tentative kiss, eyes finally drifting closed. The hands around her waist curved inward, drawing her closer and dispelling any lingering worries as Callie immediately responded.

The kiss was unlike anything Callie had experienced before. No more worries, no more ethical dilemmas; it was months of accumulated desire and holding back released into one simple act. Their lips moved slowly, exploring one another, favouring gentle and caressing over fast and feverish. Arizona’s arms slid around her neck and she released a contented sigh into the contact, drawing a faint smile from Callie.

She was the first to pull away, needing her head to stop spinning long enough to make sure that Arizona was okay. She was the one whose life had been turned upside down and inside-out; the last thing Callie wanted to do was add to her growing pile of hardships. Licking her lips, she rested her forehead against the blonde’s and waited.

Arizona exhaled quietly, tracing her eyes across the features that made up Callie's beautiful face. She was perfect, that was the first coherent thought that crossed her mind; that kiss was perfect. Feeling a sense of giddiness in the centre of her chest, Arizona curled her left hand loosely around the back of Callie’s neck and returned the faint, breathless smile.

That was enough positive confirmation for Callie. The last part of her that had been holding back broke free, and she immediately pulled the blonde into a deeper, hungrier kiss. There was no hesitancy this time as she relaxed and connected the way she'd been wanting to from the moment she walked through that exam room door. Just as quickly and feverishly as it started, however, it slowed. The kiss became less about the urgent need to taste Arizona and more about the need to make her feel the same way Callie was feeling herself.

Somehow, through the fog her mind had been encased in, Arizona sensed what the brunette was doing and complied with slow, tentative strokes of her lips and tongue. She wanted to make it last, wanted to memorize the way Callie tasted, and she was well on her way to doing so when the other woman pulled back again.

This time when Callie broke it off, she didn't give Arizona a chance to wonder why. She pulled her in tightly around the waist, lifting her briefly off of the ground and taking two steps forward to press her up against the wall, careful of the injured leg between them.

The rough texture of brick scraped against Arizona's back, but the fact that she was pinned to a wall by Callie Torres made her forget everything else. Both arms circled around her shoulders, pulling her into another heated kiss. She was grateful for the small change of location, letting the wall take most of her weight.

The new position also left her hands free to do more exploring. Arizona's fingers curled forward and brushed through the fine hairs at the base of Callie's neck, thumbs smoothing along her jaw and gently caressing olive skin. She parted her lips and glided her tongue against the one requesting re-entrance to her mouth, a low, keening moan escaping into the kiss.

The sound really struck a chord in Callie, who slowly dragged her nails up and down Arizona’s ribcage, grazing over the soft cotton shirt. This time Arizona broke the kiss with a soft gasp, shivering again and drawing a faint grin from Callie. She kissed the side of the blonde’s mouth until her favourite set of dimples appeared, then sucked gently on her bottom lip.

Arizona’s brow line rose and her eyes remained shut as she bunched a fist around the front of Callie’s jacket. Even though she’d only seen the article on her twice before, she was just now deciding it was her favourite thing and should be worn at all times.

Callie could feel Arizona gradually weakening and had a hard time accepting they'd have to stop sooner rather than later. She would get her inside, warm and safe – just not right this second. Instead she pressed harder into the blonde, sandwiching her up against the wall, bodies contouring together almost perfectly. Arizona seemed grateful for the support because she grinned and tugged lightly on her dark hair.

Never one to play hard-to-get when it came to moments like these, Callie was only too eager to oblige, pushing forward.

A low growl rumbled up from the back of Arizona's throat as a warm feeling in the pit of her belly quickly spread throughout the rest of body. Both hands moved down to grasp strong shoulders and she felt the other woman's grip squeeze protectively against her hips.

Callie lost track of how many, seconds, minutes or hours they stood there for, kissing like nothing else in the world mattered and only breaking apart for the occasional smile or soft laugh. All she knew was that by the time it slowed to a natural stop, they were both completely out of breath and the sounds of falling rain slowly starting filtering back into her ears.

Arizona broke out into a dazed smile, still recovering from the intensity of it all. She trailed her hands down to rest against Callie's chest, gingerly stroking along her collarbone. She was having a hard time focusing.

Callie was wearing a similar smile of her own, clearly pleased to see Arizona reflecting her own conclusions about how their little test run went. ‘Wow' being an understatement, but definitely one of them.

"You should get inside," she whispered huskily, leaning in to brush her nose against the other woman’s. "You're freezing."

"Not so much anymore," Arizona murmured. She ran both hands along Callie's shoulders again before reluctantly dropping them back to her sides and letting the brunette take a step back.

Callie hated losing that closeness so soon but if they didn't stop now, she had a feeling they would keep going until one or both of them froze to death. So she stooped down and grabbed the bag and room key as Arizona re-situated herself on the crutches. Despite being soaked through, Arizona's pale skin was flushed with colour and she couldn't seem to stop smiling, something that Callie took great delight in. She probably looked exactly the same.

Arizona accepted the bag first, slinging it over her right shoulder before taking the key. "So,” she started, clearing her throat.

Callie's smile widened. "You'll call me."

Blushing, Arizona chuckled. "Yes, that would be the plan."

Callie very slowly started walking backwards, unable to take her eyes off of the gorgeous woman in front of her. "You'd better."

Arizona quirked a tiny grin before fumbling her key into the door.

Callie continued slowly into the parking lot, smirk rooted firmly in place as she watched Arizona's shaking hands jiggle the handle. Once she got the door open, those perfect blue eyes looked her way again.

Biting her bottom lip and sending Callie a little wave, Arizona moved forward on her crutches and tossed the bag inside, stepping in after it. She forced herself to close the door before she lost her resolve and ran back into the parking lot for more.

Callie didn't turn around until Arizona was safely locked inside. Feeling thoroughly satisfied and so giddy she could explode, she jogged toward the car through heavy rain, not bothering to keep the ear-splitting grin from her face as she rounded the driver's side and climbed back in.

She was so happy that she didn't even care about her wet clothes possibly ruining the expensive interior. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and exhaled slowly through the nose. If she didn't calm down, she wouldn't be able to concentrate on driving home.

After a moment, Callie turned the ignition key and the engine roared to life, heat blasting and gradually warming the inside. Her head lolled back against the headrest and the high-frequency buzzing in her body gradually began to subside.

_Wow._

Taking one last peek at Arizona's door, Callie shifted the car into gear, hit the clutch and tore out of the parking lot.

***

Inside the room, Arizona leaned against the door with her eyes closed, nearly biting her lip off in an attempt not to grin like a total fool.

Today was the first time in nearly four years that she could actually remember being happy. Not just the kind of happy where she'd had a good sleep and ate something decent for breakfast, but the kind of happy that resonated right down to her very core. It was the first time she'd felt _anything_ , to be honest; it was like a light had suddenly appeared at the end of a very dark tunnel she'd been trapped in.

The dog tags around her neck felt cold against her skin so she pulled them out and turned them over between her fingers. 'Timothy Daniel Robbins' reflected in the dim light, worn down from years of use yet somehow standing out in a way she hadn’t noticed before. For the first time since he’d passed away, Arizona smiled when thinking of her twin brother.

Tim would've really liked Callie.

 

 ---

**End of Part One**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Please take a moment to comment on the wonderful[fanmix](http://alittlebitmad.livejournal.com/47883.html), [fanart](http://lore-85.livejournal.com/119967.html) and [fanvideo](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waHgP-IGphU) provided by some very awesome people. Thank you for reading!_


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